Page 228 of Worthy

He rolls his eyes and then narrows them at me. “We’ve been friends since college, you think I don’t know when you’re getting some? You have a look.”

“Pfft. That’s not true, nor is it a thing. People don’t have looks when they’re getting laid.” Or at least I hope not. Fuck, now I’m over here wondering if everyone in the office knows I’m getting some action.

“It’s a proven fact, sex makes you happy, and when you’re happy your skin glows. And you, sir, are glowy. Oh, and tired, that’s like number two. When people are tired they look miserable, but you, however, are happy-tired.” He jabs an accusing finger at me before picking up his sandwich and eating again.

“I’m not happy-tired,” I grumble, stabbing a few bits of lettuce. “I’m just happy and tired. Can’t I be both?”

“Sure, so tell me.Whyare you so happy, Lance? Or better yet,whois making you happy?”

I sigh, knowing he’s not going to stop until I tell him, so I may as well get it over with. “Okay, listen, before you start, let me just say I know what I’m doing.”

His brows fly up at my words and he leans forward slightly. “Oh, boy. What have you done?” He’s going for humor, but I can tell by the slight edge to his voice that he’s nervous.

I set down my fork, leaning back into the booth and giving him my full attention. “Owen.”

I see his brows furrow as his mind works, trying to place who Owen is until his eyes widen as realization dawns on him. “Holy shit. Your boss?” I nod, biting down on my lip as I wait for more questions. “Since when? And how? I thought he was straight?”

“A little over a week ago, the how, well, that’s complicated, and clearly not as straight as we thought.” I know as soon as the words are out he’s going to worry. He’s been through this with me once already. It may not be the same situation as Trevor, but there are some similarities.

“Lance.” He sighs. “You know I love you. You’re my best friend and I would never do or say anything to hurt you, and if I ever do it’s only because I have your best interest at heart. So please, don’t take this badly, but this isn’t a good idea.” He eyes me warily.

“It’s fine. I told you I have it under control.” There’s a slight edge to my voice and I try to reel it in.

I can tell by the way he’s looking at me that he doesn’t believe me. “Really?” he questions skeptically. “So you don’t like him at all? You aren’t starting to develop feelings for him?” I glance down at the table, wanting to deny it but knowing I can’t. Especially not to Jess. If there’s anyone in the world who can read me like a book, it’s him. “Ah, honey.”

“He’s not like Trevor,” I finally say, feeling the need to defend Owen.

Trevor was an ex-boyfriend. My firstrealboyfriend. My first everything. We dated during my freshman year of college, and I say dating loosely because all our activities were behind closed doors. I was young, lonely, and eager for love. He was a junior and I thought he was just busy a lot between practice and studying, did I mention I was stupid? When he told me he couldn’t come out because his dad was a homophobe I understood. Especially after everything I went through with my grandma after my mom passed away when I was a kid. So I never pressured him to come out and I didn’t push for dates outside of his dorm room. I just accepted the bare minimum scrapes of attention from him.

That was until I found him balls-deep in some chick after end-of-year finals. I wasn’t supposed to go to his dorm that day, he said he was going to be out with friends, but it was early and I wanted to sneak in and see him before he went out. Jokes on me, I later found out he had been doing this the whole year of us ‘dating.’

“Why isn’t he out then?” Jess questions, pulling me from my thoughts.

I shake my head. It’s not my business to tell. I’m already crossing a line by telling Jess. One thing you don’t do is out someone. That’s basic human decency. “It’s complicated.”

“What do you mean?” I can tell by his face he doesn’t really believe me and that just irritates me.

“It’s not my place to tell you. Just… he’s dealing with a lot of stuff right now and I’m trying to help him.” It sounds stupid, but what else can I say?

“Lance—” he starts, but I cut him off.

“Please, don’t. I know, okay? This is stupid and I’m probably going to get my heart ripped out, but I’m happy. I’m enjoying it and I want to see where it goes.”

He purses his lips for a moment before his lips turn up into a smile. “You really like him, huh?”

I nod and give him a small smile back. “Yes, I really do.”

“Okay. I’ll drop it, but I’m here, okay? If you ever want to talk or get anything off your chest... I’m here, no matter what.”

“I know you are and that’s why I love you.”

“I love you too, sap.” He pauses, a mischievous look crossing his face. “So, how big are we talking?” He holds his hands up a foot apart before bringing his hands in. “Monster, pickle, pencil. I need to know.”

I just shake my head, unable to stop the fit of laughter. I can’t with him.

***

An hour later, I’m dead on my feet, walking to my car after leaving the restaurant. I can’t wait to get home and get to bed. Too bad I live thirty minutes away. I hate that living in the city is so expensive. Maybe one day I’ll be able to afford it.

---