Page 62 of Worthy

After Lance took off, I brought Ben and Ryan back to Xquisite with me.I know, I know.Returning to the scene of the crime makes it seem like I’m not as over it as I swear I am. But really, I just like this place, and I know everyone here. Nick is bartending all night, so worst case scenario, I can just get drunk and wait for him to get off, so he can…Well, yea. You get the picture.

The only tiny sliver of positivity to the whole Lance debacle is that it’s pulling focus from how potentially awkward it could be hanging out with the Lockwoods. I haven’t seen either of them since two Christmases ago, when I spent nearly twenty-four hours getting railed by Ryan, and then Ben punched me in the face.

Ipersonallywouldn’t say there’s bad blood between us, especially since apparently everything worked out swimmingly for the two of them, and their wife. But still, Ben and I have never really gotten along. We’ve merely tolerated each other because his brother, Jake, has been my best friend in the whole world since childhood.A very straight best friend whom I’ve never hooked up with, I might add.And Ryan… Well, Ryan is a good kid. Our interactions were always casual, because casual is what I do.

Did I like spending time with him? Fuck yea, I did. But the entire time we played our occasional hook-up game, he was madly in love with someone else,andthat someone’s wife. So it doesn’t matter that I could have maybe slipped, unintentionally, into something else with him…

He’s just a friend. A friend who’s put his dick in me a few times. That’s it.

We can keep our distance again starting tomorrow. But tonight is still Pride, and Pride is meant to be celebrated in gay clubs with queer friends.

The bass is thumping in my veins while I flirt with Nick over the bar. He’s pretty much a sure thing, but do I really want to wait until he gets off work to get laid? No, not exactly. I’m wound up, frustrated and feeling too many things that are too real for me… And it’s all Lance Hardy’s fucking fault.

I need a distraction. Like,now.

Turning over my shoulder, my eyes land on myfriends, Ben and Ryan, who are kissing and touching, giving each other the smoldering sexual looks. The sight of it twists a knot in my gut that I just can’t overcome, no matter how much liquor I dump on it. I’ve never seen the two of them like this… Not in person, anyway.

I’ve seen pictures on their Facebook and Instagram pages, of them swooning over each other. Photos of them with Jessica, and baby Ethan. They’re in love, and it’s interesting to witness, considering that the last time I saw either of them, there was mainly only hostility and a very unsubtle fiery longing coming from both sides.

What a difference eighteen months makes, I guess.

Normally, I couldn’t give a good God damn about seeing people behave so painfully in love right in front of me. But for some reason, right now, it’s causing this burning in my gut, spreading up to my chest like heartburn.

I need to get away from it…All of it.From the hand-holding and googly eyes, the tender, heated kisses and eager touches. All these people and their fuckingfeelings…

Bleh. Gross.

Get me some dick, please. Stat.

Tugging my phone out of my pocket, I open up Grindr to find dozens of new matches and messages. This is good. This is what I should have done from the start. Simple sex, no complications.

No potential of accidental run-ins with closeted former friends.

Tapping on a message from someone with the usernameSinfulSeth, my thumbs work quickly to type out a response to his,Hey, sexy.

I’ve barely sent my reply before a dick pic pops up on the screen. Followed by the standard,Top or bottom?

Biting down on the inside of my cheek, I answer him, then ask if he’s at the club. To which he responds that he is. My chin lifts and I look around, wondering how close he actually is to me. My eyes dart left and I spot a guy, pretty much right next to me, on his phone.

His eyes jump up to mine, then fall to his phone once more.

SinfulSeth: Are you standing next to me?

TlovestheD: That depends. On a scale of 1-10, how hot is the dude you’re looking at?

The guy next to me laughs, his eyes slinking over again before he begins typing.

SinfulSeth: 100

Turning to him, I stuff my phone into my pocket and murmur, “Good answer.”

He tucks his phone away too, giving me a gradual once-over, while I do the same to him. He’s definitely hot. Tall… Not as tall as a certain someone we’re not thinking about, but still, maybe an inch taller than me. He has brown hair and nice lips, a perfectly trimmed beard. Definitely looks like he could pin me to something, which is really all I’m looking for.

So I tilt my head and ask, “You wanna get outta here?”

His lips curl wickedly. “I thought you’d never ask.”

Killing my drink, I set the empty glass down on the bar, casting one last lingering look at Ben and Ryan. They’re off in their own little world.Good for them…

---