“The spring break before you introduced me to him. We met at a party.”
“A party.” Not a question. “And what did you do at this party?”
Pulling my legs up onto the bed, I wrap my arms around them, the tears I was trying to hold back falling hot down my face as I glance over at her, her own face wet with my betrayal.
My brows dip together, and I bite down on my bottle lip before asking, “Do you really want me to answer that?”
Wiping a rough hand over her cheek, she nods. “I think I need to hear the answer, Elias.”
“We…” A sob bubbles from my throat, my hands coming up to wipe my face.God, this is so fucking hard.“We had sex,” I murmur before quickly spitting out, “Mom, please! I didn’t know you knew him. I promise!”
“Stop it,” she barks, seething eyes glaring at me through the tears. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me when I introduced you to him? Huh? Yeah, you may not have known then that I would marry him, but when you did find out, you saidnothing!Why?”
I drop my head into my hands, the nausea overwhelming. “Mom,” I cry. “Please, I’m so fucking sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”
She clears her throat, and when she speaks again, her voice is even. Cold. “And this started again, when?”
Knowing there’s no point in lying anymore, I mutter, “Shortly after I moved back home after graduation.”
“God, Elias!” She stands, hand over her mouth as she paces in front of me. “I cannot fucking believe this.”
“Please,” I beg. “Just let me explain!”
“Let you explain how my husband and my son are having an affair behind my back?” she scoffs.
“Mom, listen, you even said it yourself, your marriage wasn’t real, right?” I’m grasping at straws here, and when her fiery gaze snaps to mine, I realize I more than fucked up.
“Don’t you dare say that to me!” Moisture pools in her eyes, a single tear spilling over, and it’s like a knife to my chest. “Our marriage may not have been real, but it was a real solution to real problems, all of which, you never even knew about, because as your mother, I was trying to protect you. You’re acting like a child, Elias, and it isn’t helping.”
Anything I could say is lodged in my throat. Truthfully, my silence will probably hurt less than the truth at this point. The anguish on her face, the betrayal because of me… it kills me. I never wanted to hurt her.
But how could this have ended any other way?
Her teary eyes, the same shade of green as my own, connect with mine, narrowing. “And the job,” she grits out. “Was that a lie too? Did you ever even work for Zeke?”
Fuck.“Mom—”
“Elias, dammit!” she shouts, startling me. “Answer the damn question!”
Moisture falls hot down my cheeks. I don’t bother wiping it away. “No,” I whisper, a hiccup bubbling up my throat.
“Why?” The raw emotion laced in that one three-letter word guts me. It’s a knife to my heart, twisted in agony. “Why’d you lie about that? Was it to hide the affair?”
“No, Mom, I swear!” My fingers thrust into my hair as I pull on the strands. “I just didn’t want to upset you. Keeping the peace felt like the best solution. You weren’t happy about the social media stuff, so I don’t know. It just happened, okay? Please, I am so sorry…”
She doesn’t say anything for a while. Her puffy, bloodshot eyes travel from me down to my comforter. Rubbing a hand over her mouth, she finally looks up at me and says, “I can’t do this with you right now. I’m sorry, but I… I need to go.”
My eyes stay trained on her as she leaves without another word, fresh tears welling in my eyes as the weight of what she said sits suffocatingly on my chest.
Chapter Forty
Elias Carnell
I don’t move from my spot on the bed. I’m frozen in place. It doesn’t take long for Katie to come up and find me, though. She barges through the door, eyes wide as they land on me.
“What happened?” she asks, out of breath. She must’ve run all the way up here from the kitchen.
“She knows,” is all I can say.