Page 10 of Always

But before the smile could even begin, a cool, smooth mask of politeness slipped over his face. Instead of the man she knew, a stranger stood in front of her.

A handsome stranger, tall and fit, with a California tan, and clothes that looked casual but probably cost more than all the furniture in her office.

“Hello, Anika,” he said calmly.

“Hello,” she said.

“I suppose you got Liam’s email?”

“I did,” she said. “Thanks for coming.”

“It was the least I could do,” he said, “for him. He helped me get my first job in the valley. He’s been a good friend to me—the best of friends.”

He said it mildly, but she couldn’t help but hear a devastating reproach in his words. Liam Doyle had been everything to James that she had failed to be.

“I don’t know him well,” she said, “but he seems like a wonderful person.”

Gwen looked curiously between the two of them. She sensed the strange, awkward undercurrent beneath everything they said.

The less-perceptive Hannah said, “James has been telling us the funniest stories! He knows all kinds of people—he says he’ll invite them to our gala. Can you imagine if Tom and Gisele came? Or Elon?”

Anika smiled slightly, hearing that Hannah was apparently already on a first-name basis with James’s famous friends and acquaintances. She glanced at James, and again for a moment she thought he perceived her amusement and shared it with her. But then the moment passed, and she was only conscious of how bedraggled her hair looked from her dash from the subway station, and how dowdy the slacks were that she had pulled on last minute from the floor of her closet. She could have applied some mascara at least.

“Well,” she said slowly, “it sounds like you guys have been filling James in on all our current projects.”

“We have!” said Gwen cheerfully.

“In fact,” Hannah said, “I was just about to go over to the Angel Orensanz building to give them our deposit and see what their tables look like. James said he’d give me a ride! That’s his Tesla Roadster out in the parking lot.” She pointed toward the window. Anika didn’t bother to look out.

“I’m coming too!” Gwen said quickly, grabbing her purse off her desk.

Calvin looked disappointed that there was no pretext for him to join. With a glum face, he turned back to his computer screen.

“Good luck!” Anika said weakly.

James gave a casual wave to Calvin and Anika. He left with the Fletchley sisters, Hannah and Gwen chatting animatedly as they followed him down the stairs.

With all the pretty and interesting people gone, a great dullness fell over the office. Calvin yawned and casually picked his nose.

Anika went into her office and sat down hard on her chair.

It was over.

She had seen James. They had spoken politely. The worst was past.

She hadn’t betrayed her emotions or made a fool of herself. So in that sense, it wasn’t as bad as she had feared. But the misery of being nothing to someone to whom she was once everything...the sharp pain of that seemed lodged in her sternum, like a lump of stone jammed into the muscle and bone, compressing her lungs. As she slowly breathed in and out, the lump rose and fell. It seemed unlikely to dissipate any time soon.

Anika had about fifty unread emails waiting for her, plus stacks of applications to review. Though her workday was just beginning, she felt horribly tired.

* * *

6

James didn’t return to the Red Line offices, and neither did Gwen and Hannah. At some point Gwen texted that they were going to lunch at a ridiculously expensive sushi place on Broadway (James’s treat, no doubt), and invited Anika to join them. Anika declined, citing her mountain of paperwork. Gwen texted back,Probably for the best, or we’d have to invite Calvin too!

Anika accomplished a number of things, but she couldn’t remember what any of them were. She felt overheated, dissatisfied, and generally distracted.

Around three o’clock, Calvin poked his head into her office to say that he was leaving early for a dentist’s appointment. After sitting alone a few minutes more, Anika decided she would leave too. After all, it was Friday. Why should she stay here alone while Gwen and Hannah were eating sea urchin by the pound, and Calvin absconded on some imaginary dentist appointment?

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