Page 60 of Always

Also, as heartless as it seemed, Anika couldn’t risk any more misunderstandings between herself and James. She needed to make clear to everyone, as quickly as possible, where she stood.

I need to meet with you after work,she texted to Marco.

After a while he sent back,I can’t, I told you my father isn’t doing well.

Anika felt wretched. Should she wait a few days until Dominic was feeling better? And what if he didn’t get to feeling better. What if the worst happened? It could be weeks or months until an acceptable time arose.

I’m sorry,she wrote,I’m really sorry, but this can’t wait.

After a pause, Marco finally texted back,Meet me at the hospital cafe at 8.

That was good. It gave her time to finish up her work and retrieve the ring from her apartment.

She took the train back to her apartment. As she walked up to the building, she looked at the blank glass doors, the sleek facade. It was place she never felt excited to come home to. She thought,Whatever happens, I’m moving out at the end of the month. I’ll get my own place like I should have a long time ago.The resolution made her feel as if a hundred pounds had been lifted off her back.

Many things were becoming clear to her, and one of them was this: she had always been afraid to live apart from her father and sister, because living together was the only bond they had. Their personalities and goals were too dissimilar. Without the regular interactions of their shared living space, and the work and social engagements that came from being in the same city, she would become little more than a stranger to them.

There was no real emotional connection. If she moved out, months would flow by where they would forget to call her, where they would be too busy to meet, and months could easily turn into years.

But that didn’t frighten her anymore. No matter what happened between her and James, she needed to stop looking for fulfillment where there was none to be found. Her father and sister would never be a source of happiness in her life. They couldn’t bring her happiness because they weren’t happy themselves.

It seemed so obvious now.

Maybe I’m a slow learner,Anika thought with a sigh,but at least I figure it out in the end.

She took the elevator up to the top floor of her building. Stella was sitting in the kitchen when Anika came in, sipping from a mug of tea.

Almost always when Anika saw her sister, Stella was scrolling on her phone, closed off from conversation. But today she was just sitting, staring off into space.

She had showered recently. Still dressed in her robe, her hair damp over her shoulder and her face scrubbed of makeup, Stella looked younger than usual and much more vulnerable.

“Hi,” Anika said, sitting down on the stool beside her.

“Hey.”

“What are you up to tonight?”

“My friend has an exhibit on at the Agora Gallery. He’s a photographer—he studied with Frans Lanting.”

Anika gave an internal sigh. It was a reflex with Stella to name-drop. She could never just say that someone was a friend, she had to trot out their credentials. But this time Anika wouldn’t allow it to annoy her.

“That sounds great,” Anika said. “Hey, I wanted to tell you, Marco showed me some of the bags you designed for the spring accessory line. I thought they were really amazing. Your best yet.”

Stella looked up from her tea.

“Really?” she said. “Dad didn’t think—"

“Oh, fuck Dad,” Anika said. “What has he ever liked that he didn’t make himself?”

Usually this was the kind of thing that would offend Stella. She was so entrenched in team Bennet. But Anika’s vehemence was just shocking enough to make Stella laugh instead.

“That’s true,” she admitted. “He never likes anybody else’s stuff, even when it’s gorgeous. He told me Ferregamo’s platform shoes were a crime against women, and that Daphne Guinness ripped off her best designs from Star Trek.”

The two sisters laughed quietly, knowing their father was only a few rooms away.

“James found Mom’s earring by the way,” Anika said. “It’s not lost anymore.”

“He did?” Stella said. She smiled at Anika with real sincerity. “I’m really glad you have it back.”

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