Page 8 of Always

Anika was torn. Of course she wanted to go, but her father had made it clear that if she didn’t come home to take over the Red Line immediately, he would dissolve it.

While embroiled in debate with herself, James was pushing to come to the Hamptons to meet her family. She’d met his parents and brothers over a few holidays, but he hadn’t met anyone on her side, not even Aunt Molly.

He thought she was embarrassed of him, of his parents being schoolteachers. Of course the opposite was true—the people who actually embarrassed her were Bennet and Stella. She knew exactly how they’d behave.

James insisted, and, reluctantly, she agreed.

The trip was disastrous.

Bennet treated James with absolute coldness and sarcasm. Having never attended higher education himself, he had a particular animosity in that direction. Upon learning that half of James’s family were teachers, he made several cutting remarks about the education system and the fools that served it. He questioned James about his future plans, openly sneering at the idea that there was any money left to be made in Silicon Valley.

“It’s all who you know there,” Bennet said. “And who do you know, exactly?”

Stella was even worse. She interrupted James whenever he spoke, and mockingly enquired if his watch was a Rolex?

“It’s a Seiko,” James said stiffly. “My mother gave it to me at my high school graduation.”

“I’m sure those are very popular where you’re from,” Stella said.

Anika was in agony until Aunt Molly arrived, but even Molly failed to be her usual welcoming and effusive self. Anika had mentioned the possibility of moving across the country with James, and that had prejudiced Molly against him. Still mourning her sister, she didn’t want to lose her favorite niece. She was polite to James, but not warm, not kind.

When James returned to the dorms, two days early and without Anika, Bennet and Stella made their low opinion of her boyfriend perfectly clear, as if they hadn’t already.

She could have ignored them, but at that time she relied very heavily on Aunt Molly for support. She asked Molly what she thought about the move to California.

“I think it’s a terrible idea,” Aunt Molly said bluntly.

“What?” Anika was surprised.

“It isn’t what your mother would have wanted for you—tagging along with some boy, chasing after his dream. You’re too young to latch yourself on to someone like that. There’s too many things you still need to do for yourself.”

Maybe Anika could have withstood this too, but Aunt Molly went further. She said that it wouldn’t be fair to James. He needed to focus on his work, his goals. Programmer’s hours were insanity—how could he put the time in if he knew Anika was at home waiting for him? Not to mention the financial stress. James didn’t have two dimes to rub together, and neither would Anika if she went with him. Bennet would cut her off, and her mother’s trust didn’t come due for another five years.

If Anika would have gone back to the city before making her decision, she would have seen James’ handsome face, his beautiful smile, felt the warmth of his arms around her. She would have been flooded with strength and confidence as she always was in his presence. But she didn’t carry any of that inside of herself at that time. Without James directly in front of her, she was weak and too easily persuaded by her aunt, who looked very much like Eleanor, and felt like the last real family left to her.

Anika broke up with James over the phone. It was the pull of her mother’s charity, it was the desire to seem reasonable and responsible in Aunt Molly’s eyes, and the belief that she was doing what was best for James as well. But it was mostly fear. She could admit that now, looking back. She had been so scared and so distrustful of her own judgement. Tied to her mother’s house and her mother’s job, afraid to leave it and lose Eleanor all over again.

She would have wanted to keep in touch, maybe even try some kind of long distance relationship, but James was furious. He didn’t believe that any of this was for his benefit. He thought Anika had been swayed by her family’s obvious dislike of him.

James was a person of iron resolve. He couldn’t tolerate her weakness. He disappeared from social media and blocked her on his phone.

Many times since then, she’d considered contacting him. She could have used a different number to call, or sent an email, through his work if need be. But when it came down to it, she always stopped herself. She had shown her unworthiness and there wasn’t any way to make up for it.

So needless to say, the thought of seeing James again on Monday, after eight years of silence, filled her with dread.

Worst of all, it would be humiliating. Now that she knew who this protege was of whom Aunt Molly had spoken, this former colleague of Liam Doyle, she knew the full story of his success. She’d been unable to avoid following it through the years, it had been so publicized.

Everything that James had dreamed had indeed come to pass. He founded several successful start-ups, culminating in his most recent venture, a block-chain technology that allowed foreign currencies to be exchanged instantly and painlessly. His company had gone public to record-breaking stock prices and had recently been acquired by Citibank for 1.4 billion dollars.

She’d seen James’s face on the cover of more than one magazine. He was handsomer than ever. He had benefited from the tech-sector makeover, the expensive haircuts and custom clothes provided for the CEOs who would be photographed and interviewed as the face of the company. Besides that, he had simply grown up. His jaw had broadened, his frame had filled out. The face that had always been animated and charming was now also strong, confident, masculine.

While she had stagnated here, allowing herself to be drained of joy and vitality, he had soaked up every measure of his well-deserved success and radiated it back out to the world.

If Anika could have been assured that she would be swallowed up in the depths of the earth before Monday, she would have felt nothing but relief.

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5

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