Long story short, I chose Bellport U. It made sense to stay close since I was still a minor. Several years and degrees later, I’m still here. This place is home, even when my mother squeezes me so tight in a hug that I lose my breath for the second time this morning.

“Good to see you too, Ma. You know I live here, right?” I tease.

She makes a noise of disagreement under her breath. “Yet I rarely ever see you. Always studying. Always working. Too smart for your own good, Cariño.”

Aries barks out a laugh at her teasing tone. “You tell him, Ma.”

I shake my head at them both before moving over to grab a plate. Ma always loves to feed her growing boys. I swear I will be in my 40s, and she'll still be saying it.

She can't help herself. I know it’s part of the culture, yet it still amuses me to no end.

I dig in before either of them can ask me any questions. It's not that I want to avoid conversations, but they tend to worry about me. When the bullying was at its worst, they helped pull me out of it. I got some counseling and learned how to better cope with others' actions towards me.

It's been a long time since the taunts truly got to me. Now they're just annoying.

And the physical violence stopped as the guys focused on other things. High school kids were brutal, but college kids really didn't care. Their goals revolved around partying and drinking.

When I finish, I lean back and pat my stomach. “Deliciosa como siempre,” I tell her.

She smiles brightly, thankful for the praise. Aries mumbles, “Suck up” under his breath. Ma smacks him in the back of the head.

"Be nice to your brother. We protect family. We love family."

He nods, shoveling a bite of food in his mouth. He talks as he chews. "Of course we do, Ma. That's why I beat the shit out of anyone who ever comes after him. No one's gonna mess with my little brother. Why do you think I train so hard in the gym?"

I scoff. "You train hard because you're paid millions of dollars to do so, and because you love to play football. It has nothing to do with protecting me."

He waves his fork in the air. "It started as a way to protect you, or I guess it improved what I was doing. I would never have built this much muscle if I didn't need to keep you safe. It benefited my football game too, so I just kept going."

My jaw drops at the revelation. It's nothing like I expect from him.

Ma reaches over and pats his hands. "You're a good boy."

Raymond chokes on his bite of food. Aries snickers, knowing just how those two words affect him, even when they're not directed his way. They both enjoy attention and praise.

Aries leans over and whispers something in his ear. Ma and I ignore them, the two of us sharing a grin that says we know just how those two lovebirds are getting on.

The rest of breakfast is pretty uneventful, and I'm able to slip away without too much complaint from them. I decide it's best to just get to school, and I'll figure the rest out later. I'm almost out the door when Ma stops me. She hands me a sack lunch and packs my cheek.

“You know it's okay for you to find a special someone too. Someone like Raymond,” she inquires.

I don't have the heart to tell her that I won't ever be with someone like Raymond. Not because there's anything wrong with him. I think he's perfect for my brother. But I need someone who would want to take care of me. Someone who is more dominant and could do things I can't.

I don't want to say someone like my brother because that's a little too close to home; however, if I had a type, it would be athletes, which is a burden because they're also usually my biggest tormentors.

“I'll see what I can do, Ma,” I tell her before giving her a hug and thanking her for my lunch.

I leave and spend the rest of the day hearing her words on repeat. Would I like a special someone? Of course I would. Do I think I'll have one anytime soon? Probably not.

* * *

The next day, I decide to avoid my brother and his possible wake-up call by heading to school early again. I have a paper due that needs some research, and I'm not finding what I need online. There's something about using the library’s reference section that just hits different.

I love the tactile feel of the paper and the smell of old books. Plus, I can spread it all out and see it at a glance. With the internet, I can easily get distracted by a pop-up ad or wanting to check my socials. Next thing I know I'm on my 15th video about how to knit when I never even had the inclination to do so.

It's cooler today so I tuck my jacket tighter to me as I trek across campus. There's never any parking near the library and with the way the school is set up, certain parking lots are for certain people. I'm thankful my PhD status gives me access to a lot that’s fairly close to everything.

I still have a ways to go to get where I want to be.