Page 48 of Their Perfect Daddy

Well, family and now my boys. Talking to them yesterday felt amazing. I’d missed them more than I’d even realized. It wasn’t until I got them on the phone that the ache in my chest started to die down.

I’d originally thought it was all from worry about Poppy. Turns out, I’ve been just as caught up on my boys as I was my sister.

“What are you thinking about, Skye?” Poppy asks in a low voice. “Your face went all sappy.”

Laughing at her, I shake my head. “Thinking about some people back home. I miss them.”

“People? As in more than one?”

I nod, knowing there’s no way I’ll keep this from anyone in the family anymore. Not when I’m already this deeply involved. Or at least, my heart is.

“Yeah, more than one. I have two boyfriends. They’re… fuck, they’re perfect for me, Poppy. I can’t wait until you meet them.Once we get you and Juni home, I’ll try to bring them by for a visit.”

As if she knows her name already, the little bundle in the bassinet beside me grunts.

“Guess she’s getting hungry again, huh?” Poppy asks. Her voice is soft and sad, likely as a result from all the changes she’s had to deal with lately.

I stand up and head to the bottle station I’ve set up in the corner. Since Poppy has been in recovery, she isn’t able to breastfeed. Plus, she’s really too weak to manage holding the baby alone anyway.

By the time I get the nipple attached to the premade formula, babygirl is releasing some serious noise. I turn to find my sister grimacing.

“I hate that I can’t comfort her. It’s like I’m already a bad mother.”

Anger rises at her words. “You’re not a bad mother. You’re a new mother who just survived a traumatic surprise birth. If anything, I think you’re doing grand. It would really help if your fiancé were here.”

“Ex-fiancé,” she corrects. “I would call him if he hadn’t run off with one of the bridesmaids. How cliche is that? Cheated on and now he’s going to be a dead-beat dad too. But also….”

“But what?” I ask as I grab the pink bundle up. She’ll likely need a diaper change too. I’ll deal with that after her tummy is full though.

“Shouldn’t I feel more maternal? Like holding her and feeding her. I’m devastated because I know it’s what I should be doing. It’s not that I feel a desire to do it.”

I shake my head as I ease down on the side of the bed. Juni sucks deeply at the milk, completely oblivious to the turmoil her mom is going through.

“What you’re feeling right now is a mix of mom guilt and probably some post-partum blues. Your body has gone through a lot of changes over the last ten months, even if you had no clue. Hell, I think the fact that you didn’t know makes this all the more amazing. You grew a human, sis! And fuck that asshole. I’m sure Rayne and the others are making a plan toward revenge right now. Don’t you worry about him.”

She smiles at me as a tear slides down her cheek. “I know. I just don’t feel ready at all. I mean, I was on vacation here and suddenly I’m giving birth. You had to take emergency leave to come help and everyone else has been?—”

As her sobs take over, I fight between needing to feed the baby and wanting to console her. I do the only thing I can think of.

“Scoot over,” I say as I push at her hip.

When she’s far enough past me, I switch the side Juni’s on to be closest to Poppy, then lean against the back of the bed. It’s close enough for her to feel a part of the process without making her do anything more.

“Now then. Let’s get a few things straight here, sis. You are not a burden. This is a new adventure, which I know you love. You and Juni have a team of people ready to support you once you’re able to come home. The connection with her will come when it comes. And if it doesn’t, there are other options like adoption. We won’t judge you should you choose such.”

It’s not ideal; however, I fully believe a woman has the right to choose. And with something like this, Poppy has to do what’s right for her and Juni. Keeping a child and raising them despite feeling unprepared often leads to resentment. I don’t want to see what kind of person my sister might become if she forces this.

“You’re right.” She sighs. “I’ll try to keep that in mind from now on. Sorry for breaking down on you.”

“Don’t apologize. As I already said, your body is going through a tough time right now. You don’t owe any of us anything. Heal. That’s what is most important.”

She nods, then leans her head on my shoulder. I kiss the top of her head as we settle into a comfortable silence.

Things may not be perfect just yet, but they will get better.

We just have to give it the time it needs.

Poppy falls asleep, so I have to be extra careful when it comes time to burp the little one in my arms. I do a fairly good job up until the minute she lets out the most grotesque fart I’ve ever smelled in my life.

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