Page 18 of Echoes of You

Pain flared in my chest, but it was the good kind this time. “Nash…”

He leaned forward and pressed his lips to my forehead. “I know you.”

“I’m not perfect.”

“No one is.”

My breath hitched as my tears came faster. “I should’ve seen the signs. I know them better than anyone. I was so stupid—”

“Don’t talk about my best friend like that.”

A laugh bubbled out of me, but it quickly melted into a sob. “I promised myself that I would never let anyone hurt me like my father did. That I would never be my mother, turning a blind eye to every awful outburst. And I did exactly that.”

My tears came faster as my body shook. How had I let this happen? How had I not learned my lesson?

Nash pulled me to him. “This isn’t your fault.”

“But it is.” Then I spilled all my shame, letting it tumble out of my mouth and into the air between us. “This wasn’t the first time, Nash.”

6

NASH

“This wasn’tthe first time, Nash.”The words echoed in my head, over and over on a horrific loop. That asshole had hurt Maddie. And just like before, I hadn’t been there to protect her.

I held her tighter against me, careful of her tender ribs. “It wasn’t your fault.” I would tell her that as often as it took until she finally heard me.

Sobs wracked Maddie’s body. “I never wanted to be this person—someone who let another person hurt me and just took it.”

My chest cracked at her words, the self-hatred in them and the shame. “Maddie…”

Another of her sobs cut me off, and I knew she wouldn’t hear me now. All I could do was hold her. Tell her with my body that she wasn’t alone and never would be. That I had her.

The heaving cries came faster at first, ricocheting around her body like a violent storm. I just held on. Nothing in this world could make me let go.

I didn’t know how long we sat there with Maddie curled in my lap, my arms encircling her. Eventually, the sobs slowed, turning to shuddering breaths before stilling altogether. I still didn’t let go.

Maddie’s breathing evened out, deepening in a way that told me sleep had claimed her. Carefully, I stood, heading in the direction of the hallway. I poked my head into room after room until I found the only one with a bed.

Maddie needed sleep right now. Rest so she could heal—both her body and her mind. I laid her gently on the mattress. The moment I withdrew my hands, a soft whimper escaped her lips.

My teeth ground together as I hurried around the bed, kicking off my shoes. I lowered myself to the bed and curved my body around hers, the way I had so many times before. The moment I pulled her into my arms, the whimpers stopped.

I let out a breath, the one my lungs had held hostage since that first sound of distress had passed Maddie’s lips. Her breaths evened out again, growing deeper. I listened to the ins and outs, hoping it would soothe the monster inside me. But it wasn’t enough.

Everything in me burned. I felt raw and ravaged. Blazed by guilt.

It was all too familiar. Too horribly familiar. Because I hadn’t been there.Again.

My sneakers squeaked on the linoleum floor as my dad and I walked down the hospital corridor. It was quiet. Too quiet. Only the sounds of my shoes, the muted voices, and the occasional beep of a machine filled the air.

Each step seemed to twist my stomach tighter, like the rope swing in my backyard when one of my brothers tried to make us puke by winding it tight before letting go to spin one of us around.

My dad’s steps slowed, coming to a stop outside a closed door. His gaze met mine, our eyes almost even now. His hand landed on my shoulder. “You okay?”

I nodded but knew the action was a lie. My dad could probably tell, too. He always could.

I hadn’t been right since my mom took the call. We’d all been at the dinner table, and she’d gotten up to answer the house phone when it rang. I’d never forget how the blood had drained from her face, her hands shaking.

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