Page 15 of Fragile Sanctuary

Shep released me, but his gaze roamed over my face, studying me as if checking for lies.

“Swear. Other than your grumpy bestie scaring the bejesus out of me.”

Shep winced but then pinned me with a stare. “You shouldn’t have been messing around in there. I warned you it wasn’t safe.”

A prickle of guilt spread through me. More of that worry on my conscience. “I know. I just—I needed to get a look when no one was around.” I swiped my hands over my jeans. What I really meant was that I needed to go inside when no one could see. Just in case I broke.

The tension wrapping around his shoulders eased. “Rho.”

“I didn’t lose it. I’m fine.”

Shep ducked down a fraction, forcing me to meet his amber gaze. “It would be okay if you needed to let a little of what you’re feeling out. To share it with the people who care about you so they can lessen the load.”

I worried that spot on the inside of my cheek. “I do. I’ve talked about it with Nora. And Fallon.”

“The bare minimum,” Shep challenged.

“And you’re any better? I don’t see you laying down all your trauma for people to pick over.”

A mask slipped over Shep’s face, and I instantly felt like the lowest of the low. His features shifted into something completely unreadable. “I’m not hiding anything. I don’t have the weight you, Arden, Trace, and Kye do.”

He wasn’t wrong that the four of us had our share of baggage and scars, both emotional and physical. Shep had his own; he just didn’t want to face them. But at the end of the day, we were all lucky to land where we did. The Colsons gave all those they’d taken in long term a sense of safety and stability we desperately needed.

I toed at a piece of gravel with my boot. “It’s not a competition.”

Shep sighed. “Of course, not. I just want you to know that you can talk to me if you need to.”

My ribs tightened around my lungs. God, Shep had the best heart. “I know that.”

“Good.” Shep swiped off his hat, flipping it around so he could get a better view of the house. “It’s going to take us a while to move through the damage. But as soon as sections are secured, you can come in and remove any items you want. Or I can do it for you.”

My tongue felt thick and heavy in my mouth, making it hard to swallow, and harder to breathe. I had almost nothing of my family’s: a few photos, favorite books from the library, a quilt of my mom’s that had been in the living room that Nora had insisted on taking for me. But when the fire department offered to go back in for more, I’d said no.

I hadn’t been ready. It was as if seeing their things, all our belongings, would’ve made it too real.

But now, I wanted those items. Wanted to remember. Honor.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

Movement caught my eye, and I watched as Anson’s massive frame ambled out of the house, moving toward his truck. The suncaught his dark blond hair, illuminating the lighter strands. The color didn’t suit his storm-cloud personality, but it did match his blue-gray eyes. They reminded me of an ocean turned upside down by a hurricane.

“You gonna be okay with him?” Shep asked, breaking into my thoughts.

I shifted my gaze back to him. “What’s his deal? He’s not exactly what I pictured when you told me about the guy who convinced you to take your couch sledding during a blizzard.”

Something passed over Shep’s expression. It was quick, but I’d caught hold of it long enough for it to pique my curiosity. Shep’s focus slid away from me, but it didn’t go to Anson. He focused somewhere out on the horizon between Castle Rock and the mountains. “He’s been through some stuff. Changed him. You know what that’s like.”

God, did I ever. There was no way losing my family the way I hadwouldn’thave changed me. I was a different person than I was back then. Not just because I’d grown up but because I knew what life could throw at you. I knew you had to be grateful for every moment because you weren’t guaranteed a certain number of them.

I studied Shep’s profile. Lines bracketed his mouth, carving in and revealing his worry. The image made my stomach twist. “What happened?”

Shep shook his head as he turned back to me. “Not my story to tell. But I wouldn’t hate it if you cut him some slack.”

Annoyance flickered. Shep was an open book. He told me everything. Told everyone he considered family everything. But he was holding something back for Anson. That told me whatever it was, it wasn’t something small.

A million and one questions swirled around in my mind. Because as much as I didn’t like people poking around in my past, I was nosy.

“He’s been through a lot,” Shep said softly.

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