Page 113 of All the Missing Pieces

Ridley tipped her head back and stared at the sky. The moonlight cast her in a silvery glow that exposed all the scars of the wounds I knew she’d just reopened. All for the sake of helping to end a monster’s reign.

I wanted to run out there and beg her to stop. To wrap her in my arms and shield her from all this agony and suffering. But I knew I couldn’t.

So I watched.

I watched as Ridley closed her eyes and sucked in a breath. As she pulled in strength and fortified her shields.

God, there was so much beauty in that strength, but also in that pain, because that was what made her so damned strong.

Ridley tipped her head back down and stared at my front door for a long moment before starting toward the cabin. I hated that moment of hesitation, but I understood it just the same. Because we were both trying to hold ourselves back fromwhatever this had become. It was so much more than enemies with benefits or whatever other ridiculous term she’d coined. And I was done pretending otherwise.

I moved from the window, crossing to the front door and opening it. The light overhead cast Ridley in a warm glow as she approached. “Did I make it in time for curfew, Law Man?”

I ignored her quip and pulled her into my arms. I didn’t say a word, simply held her and let her know I was there.

Ridley’s body shuddered against me, and for a moment I thought she might let that shell break. Crack enough to truly let me in. But just as quickly as she wavered, those walls were reinforced. She kissed the underside of my jaw and slid out of my hold. “I’m exhausted. Can I fill you in on everything in the morning? The episode should be up then too.”

Annoyance flickered through me as I locked the door and set the alarm, some part of me wanting to smash through every wall Ridley erected between us. “Chaos,” I started.

She turned halfway down the hall. “Please, Colt. Just give me tonight to get my head on straight.”

Pain burned through me, but it was the pleading that did me in. “Okay.”

Then I watched as she disappeared into the guest room and shut the door. The snick of the latch echoed in the silence, sounding more like a gunshot than the closing of the door. The noise rang in my ears as I forced myself to walk past her door and into my own room.

But sleep didn’t find me. I stared at my ceiling for hours, listening to Bowser’s snores from his bed in the corner. It was because of those ridiculously loud snores that I wasn’t sure what I was hearing at first.

The sound teased my ears, resembling some sort of animal in distress. Then it got louder. Whimpering. Not animal but human.

I was on my feet before I could consider the wisdom of it, moving from my room to Ridley’s, the sound only getting louder until a cry pierced the air. I didn’t stop to knock, simply threw the door to her room open.

Ridley tossed and turned under the covers as if she were battling some sort of invisible demon. And maybe she was. I dropped to the bed, my hands landing gently on her shoulders. “Ridley.”

She batted at me, striking out as if I were an attacker.

“It’s okay. It’s just me. You’re having a bad dream.”

Ridley didn’t wake, too caught up in the throes of unconsciousness.

I squeezed her shoulders a little harder. “You’re safe. Come back to me, Chaos.”

Her eyes flew open, and she blinked a few times. The moment Ridley registered it was me, she threw herself at me. I caught her with anoomphas she shook against me.

The sobs came then, racking her body. Nothing about them was gentle, each one more violent than the one before.

I cursed as I slid onto the bed, keeping hold of Ridley as I did so. I cradled her to my chest, rocking her. My hand trailed up and down her spine. “Let it out. You’re safe now. It’s okay.”

“It’s not.” The words were barely discernible through her cries.

“Tell me.” It was a command but also a plea, to give me a piece of her pain to hold awhile.

It took her a couple of tries before she could get the words out, but finally the sobs eased enough. “It’s always the same,” she whispered. “Avery’s in the middle of the lake. I can’t see her, but I know she’s there. She’s screaming for me. But I’m stuck in the shallows. It’s like there’s quicksand holding me there. I’m fighting and fighting, but it just makes it worse.”

“Fuck,” I rasped, holding her tighter to me.

“I can never get to her.” Ridley’s tears fell against my bare chest, soaking the skin there as I stroked her back.

“How hard you fight is a mark of how much you love her.”

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