Page 96 of Beautiful Exile

My back teeth ground together, the rage nearly swallowing me whole. I dropped my forehead to hers, trying to shove the anger down. “I’m right here. Not going anywhere. Just going to turn the water on. Think I can do that?”

Arden was quiet for a moment. She didn’t move, barely breathed. “Okay.”

I moved as quickly as possible, turning the water on to warm and returning to her, the light from my phone casting us in a faint glow. I brushed my lips across her temple. “I’m right here. See?”

Arden’s hand rose to rest on my chest, over my heart. “Right here.”

She was killing me. Everything about this was slicing me open. All I wanted to do was erase every ounce of her pain, but I couldn’t.

Instead, I kicked off my boots then shucked my jeans, socks, and tee, leaving only my boxer briefs on. If anyone was going to be cold in this bathroom, it would be me.

I ghosted a hand over Arden’s face. “Would it be okay if I undressed you? Get you into that nice, warm shower?” Steam was already beginning to fill the bathroom in a way that promised endless warmth.

She nodded slowly, her throat working as she swallowed.

“Arms up,” I said gently.

Arden raised them, and I moved closer to pull up her T-shirt. As I let it flutter to the floor, I took in her form in the sliver of light. She wore some sort of black lace bra I didn’t want to look too closely at. My arms encircled her, fingers unfastening the hooks and letting that fall to the floor, too.

“Gonna lift you down now. Think you can stand?”

Arden nodded robotically. There was no life in the movement, no signs of the vitality that usually filled her.

I sank to my knees, my hands going to her left foot. I quickly untied the sneaker’s laces. “Lift.” She did, and I pulled the shoe and sock off, then repeated it with the other foot. I looked up to find Ardenwatching me. But it was as if she were peering through a looking glass or seeing something through some sort of distortion.

My fingers lifted to the button at her waist. “Almost there.”

Arden’s eyes went glassy. “Almost there.”

I unfastened her pants and pulled them and her underwear down. She shivered, and I cursed, pushing to my feet. “Let’s get you warm.”

I held out a hand to test the water, adjusting it slightly before ushering Arden into the glass-enclosed space. I positioned her under the spray but facing away, toward me.

“Warm,” she whispered.

“That’s right. Gonna take care of you, all right?”

Those gray-violet eyes locked on mine. “You always take care of me.”

The words were a beautiful knife to the heart, and I willingly took every ounce of the pain. “That’s right.”

My hands lifted to Arden’s hair, searching for the rubber band that held those mountains of dark brown locks in a tangled mess atop her head. Latching on, I maneuvered it as gently as possible, letting all that beautiful hair free to fall into the spray.

I surveyed the shelf in the stall, trying to make out words in the near-dark. I found the shampoo and squirted a healthy dose into my palm. “Can you turn for me?”

Arden did, moving back a fraction. I rubbed my hands together to create suds and realized where Arden’s cherry scent came from. This shampoo. Maybe this would give her back a little of herself.

My fingers dug into her hair, depositing shampoo across the strands. I massaged Arden’s head, making sure every inch of her hair was cleaned. She hummed softly.

The small sound of pleasure erased a little of the memories of her whimpering. I wanted to give her only the good. So much of it that she wouldn’t even remember the bad.

“Turn,” I whispered hoarsely.

She did.

My fingers worked through her hair, rinsing the shampoo as I stared down at her. Arden didn’t close her eyes—so trusting that Iwouldn’t get any soap in them. That trust was a gift, and I moved as if I were restoring the Mona Lisa.

When all the strands were fully rinsed, I repeated the steps with conditioner. Then, as Arden watched me, I reached for the bodywash. I squeezed soap into my palms and rubbed them together. My hands skated over her arms and torso, then moved up to cup her breasts, the perfect weight filling my hands.

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