Page 40 of Chasing Shelter

My hand stilled on the granite for a moment before I kept cleaning the invisible specks of dirt. “That’s the last thing either of us needs.”

“Why’s that?” Lolli challenged.

“Because Ellie just got out of an engagement, and I need someone more…even-keeled.”

I felt Lolli’s eyes bore into me and fought the urge to squirm.

“I always thought you were the smart one, but maybe you just hide your stupid with quiet rule-following.”

I turned to face my grandma and glared at her. “There’s a rule about name-calling in this house.”

“If the shoe fits…”

“Lolls,” I said with a sigh. “Ellie’s great. Keely adores her, and I’m all about them being friends.I’llbe her friend. But you know what I came from. I need something a little more predictable than what she’s offering.”

Ellie didn’t have the first clue what she wanted, and getting on a train without a known destination wasn’t in the cards for me.

Lolli’s eyes narrowed. “Because that worked out so well for you last time?”

She didn’t mean the words as a slap, but theywereall the same. A reminder of the failure I already had on my record. “That has nothing to do with why my marriage failed.”

Lolli’s shoulders slumped. “It’s not a failure. How can it be when you two created that beautiful girl upstairs? But you and Leah were never meant to be.”

No, we weren’t. I’d thought I was making the right decision, the smart play. I’d met Leah in college. She was serious, had a plan for her life, one I’d fit neatly into at first. But after Keely came along, it was like neither of us knew what to do. We’d checked all the items off our list and were simply co-existing.

But I hadn’t expected her to cheat on me.

I scrubbed harder at the granite as if I could clear away those memories along with the invisible grime.

“Trace,” Lolli said softly. “Love isn’t something you can play safe. It doesn’t work that way. You want the good stuff, you gotta take risks.”

“I’ve got a daughter to consider.”

“Yes, you do. And I like to think you want to teach her to reach for the stars.”

I did want that. I just wanted her to do it safely, responsibly, and with as little risk as possible. I tossed the paper towels and washed my hands. “It’s not as simple as that.”

“It could be,” Lolli argued. “You just have to make the leap.”

Jumping off cliffs without a parachute was Lolli’s thing. Or maybe Cope’s before Sutton and Luca came into his life. But I would never take those sorts of risks. I opened a cabinet to get a glass andstilled. Where the glasses should have been, there were bowls on one side and plates on the other, all stacked off-kilter. “What did you do, Lolli?”

She cackled. “Oh, honey. That wasn’t me.”

An image of Ellie’s mischievous smile flashed in my mind. Her threat to get me back.That little fire starter.

Lolli knocked her shoulder into my arm. “Tell me again how she isn’t exactly what you need.”

I leanedback in my chair, the text on the computer screen swirling as a headache pulsed behind my eyes—eyes that burned from a lack of sleep. I reached for the eye drops on my desk and put two in each eye. It took the edge off, but not enough. And it sure as hell didn’t erase the images of Ellie swirling in my mind since last night.

My phone dinged, pulling me out of my personal torture. I swiped it off my desk to read the notification.

Kye has changed the group name to Tyrant Trace’s Victim Support Group.

I scowled at my device.

Me

What did I ever do to you?

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