Page 69 of Chasing Shelter

My thumb ghosted over the swell of her cheek. “You’ve got a vengeful streak in you like Fal does.”

Ellie gave me a wavering grin. “Watch out, Chief. I’ll get you if you cross me.”

“Noted, Blaze. Noted.” I stared down at her, admiring all her strength but so badly wanting Ellie not to have endured what she had. “I’m so sorry this happened to you.”

She didn’t look away as she listened to my words. “Iletit happen, Trace. That’s what makes it so awful. What makes me feel so ashamed.”

“The hell, you did.”

Ellie shook her head. “You don’t get it. I might not have let him hit me, but I let him walk all over me from the moment we met. From the moment Bradley and I got together, he treated me like nothing more than window dressing, acceptable arm candy. And I just went along with it.”

“You’re a hell of a lot more than that,” I ground out.

“I like clothes. Makeup.”

“Who gives a damn?” I challenged. “There’s nothing wrong with liking those things. And that’sonepiece of you.”

“Maybe. But I even changed that for him. For my dad. My boss. I was all neutrals and acceptable styles. I never fought to just be…me.”

Hearing that killed something in me. Because I could see the sparks of the real Ellie coming through now that she was free. And dimming those would be a loss for the entire world.

“Who do you want to be?”

Ellie’s pale green eyes shimmered like dew-covered moss. “I don’t know.”

“Tell me one thing you want.”

“I want a goat.”

I barked out a laugh. “Looks like you tackled that one, even though it’s illegal to have livestock within city limits.”

Ellie winced. “Really?”

“Don’t worry. I won’t turn you in.”

“You breaking the rules for me, Chief?”

“I knew you were going to be a bad influence.”

Ellie laughed, the sound easing something in me. “We’ll make a rebel out of you yet. I did get you to drop an F-bomb.”

I stared at her for a long moment and decided to give her a piece of my own shame. “I don’t like to curse because my parents did. All day, every day. It was like every other word in our house. Hearing it reminds me I could be like them.”

“Trace,” Ellie whispered. Her hands lifted to frame my face. “Dropping an occasional swear word won’tevermake you like your dad. You didn’t let what you came from define you. You let itteachyou. It showed you the kind of dad you’d never be. The kind of man. And dropping an F-bomb won’t change that.”

I stared down at her for a long moment. I wanted to kiss her so damn badly. Wanted to taste the words she’d just given me on my tongue. “I’ve been holding on to these invisible rules like they’ll keep me from becoming him.”

“You don’t need ‘em, Chief. You’re already a million times the man he could ever hope to be.”

Maybe Ellie was right. Maybe it was time to let go just a little. Maybe it was time to take a risk. My head lowered, lips hovering just above hers?—

“OH MY GOD!” Keely screeched. “You got a goat! Can we get a goat, Daddy? Pretty please, can we?”

My daughter barreled across the lawn toward us, and I leveled Ellie with a stern glare. “I’m going to make you pay for this.”

Ellie just burst out laughing. And it was the best sound I’d ever heard.

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