Page 37 of Further To Fall

THREE MONTHS LATER

Taylor flicked on the side lamp as the credits to the movie rolled, illuminating herself on one side of the couch, and Kyle reclined in one of the overstuffed armchairs. I wish she would have left us all in darkness.

“So, now that we’ve officially watched every horror movie on the face of the planet, can we pretty please go out tonight? Pretend we’re young and alive?” Taylor was exaggerating. We hadn’t watchedeveryhorror movie, but we’d watched a lot.

I was desperate for anything to distract me from the pain of losing Austin. That meant dark rooms and endless screenings of films that had lots of dead bodies and zero unrequited love stories. Clearly, Taylor was done with me keeping her locked in a cold, dark room this summer.

“I’m actually pretty tired. I think I’m going to go to bed early tonight.” I faked a yawn. “But you guys should go out.”

Taylor threw up her hands with an exasperated sigh. “Carter, all you ever do is sleep and watch movies!” Actually, I rarely slept. The dark circles under my eyes should have been her first clue. I lay awake in my room each night, replaying my last conversation with Austin over and over, wishing with all my might that I could just take the words back. Wishing I could have Austin back. Taylor’s voice gentled. “I’m worried about you.”

I swallowed back the tears that clogged my throat. “I’m sorry, Tay. I know I’ve been a bummer to be around this summer.”

Taylor launched herself at me, pulling me into a tight hug. “You’re not a bummer to be around. I just want you to start fighting to get your life back. Find your mad!”

Kyle cleared his throat, drawing my eyes to his handsome face. “Why don’t I take you girls out to dinner? Mexican?”

Taylor pulled back, releasing me from her hold, and clapped her hands like a five-year-old. “Yes! Chips and queso! Come on, Carter. Please?” She stuck out her bottom lip, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“All right. I just need to shower and change real quick.”

Kyle sent me a tentative smile. “Take your time, there’s no rush.” I had a feeling Kyle was talking about more than me getting ready for Mexican food. He had been a wonderful friend through my great summer sulk. He listened to me talk about Austin until even I had gotten sick of Austin’s name coming out of my mouth. Kyle had held me as I had a sobbing breakdown on the last day of school. And he made me laugh.

“Thanks for this,” I said, returning his smile with one of my own.

“Anytime.”

An hour later, the three of us were piled into a booth at a neighborhood Mexican restaurant. I had a frothy margarita in my hand, and queso and guacamole were on their way. I had to admit, Taylor was right in trying to get me out of the house. As I sipped the salty-sweet concoction, my eyes traveled around the restaurant. There were groups of friends laughing, families enjoying a night away from cooking for themselves, and couples gazing into each other’s eyes everywhere.

It hit me like a freight train. Life was passing me by. And I was letting it. I had never been this kind of person before: someone who brooded in a corner because I didn’t get something I wanted. When I thought back to the person I’d been over these past three months, I didn’t like her very much. It was time for me to check back into life.

“So,” I asked Taylor, “how was your date the other night?” The surprise that showed on Taylor’s face was the only evidence I needed that I had been an unbelievably cruddy friend to her lately, as well.

“Honestly? It was a total bust. He talked nonstop the entire date. Didn’t ask me a single question about myself.” She took a sip of her margarita. “Oh, well, on to the next one. That’s the beauty of internet dating, right?”

Kyle tried unsuccessfully to hide his chuckle by taking a sip of his beer. Taylor didn’t miss a thing and shot him a dirty look. “I know you’re anti-internet dating, but how else am I supposed to meet someone? I’m too freaking busy!” She turned to me. “You know, I think we should sign you up. It’s time.”

My palms began to sweat, and I rubbed them against my jeans. “I don’t know. I’m not sure I’m ready for full-out competitive dating.”

Taylor snorted. “Stop calling it that. It’s fun!”

“I don’t really consider that fun.”

“I’ll tell you what,” Kyle interrupted. “When you’re ready to go out on a date, just tell me. I’d love to take you out.”

My cheeks heated. Kyle had been hinting about his interest over the past few months, but this was the first time he’d stated it outright. “Thanks, Kyle. I’m not quite ready yet, but when I am, I’d really like that.” He beamed at me. Kyle was exactly the kind of guy I needed to date. He was kind, funny, and most importantly, he had no problem telling me he liked me.

My phone buzzed in my purse, jarring me from my thoughts. I slipped it out, sliding my finger across the screen to read the message. Blood drained from my face, and my stomach roiled.

Unknown:Austin gave it to me so good last night, my pussy is still aching today. But he’s so desperate to have me again I’m just going to have to put up with a little pain tonight.

These little gems had been popping up on my phone at least once a week since I’d found Lexi on her knees in the office of Ford’s bar. At first, they came directly from her phone, but when I blocked her, they started popping up from unknown numbers and emails. I had given up trying to stop them.

Taylor snatched the phone from my hand, quickly scanning the message. “That fucking bitch. Carter, you have to change your number.”

If I was honest with myself, the reason I hadn’t changed my number was the tiny kernel of hope that Austin would call. But who was I kidding? His career had taken off like a rocket. He had forgotten all about me. It was time to move on. “You’re right. I’ll go to the phone store tomorrow and see what I need to do.”

Kyle snagged the phone from Taylor, reading the message and then deleting it, all with a look of pure disgust on his face. “This should just be a confirmation that you should want nothing to do with that ape. If this is the kind of woman he associates himself with, you should count yourself lucky you got away from him.”