Page 86 of Further To Fall

He smacked my hand away. “Quit it with that shit. You did everything you possibly could to protect her, more than she wanted you to. We all thought they had the guy, this is not on you.”

“I knew in my gut that something was off. I shouldn’t have let her stay there alone.”

Liam scoffed, “Like Carter would let you tell her what she could or couldn’t do. That girl is as stubborn as anyone I’ve ever met. This is only one person’s fault, and that guy is in jail.”

My shoulders slumped. I knew Liam was right, Kyle was the one to blame. I just couldn’t shake the guilt that had taken hold. I couldn’t shake it, but I could shut up about it, so I nodded at Liam, and he slipped from the room to make his call. I sat back down in one of the ridiculously uncomfortable chairs, and Ford sat down next to me. “He’s right, you know.” I grunted in response. “This is not your fault.”

“I know it’s not my fault. What’s tearing me up is that I didn’t stop it.”

“Austin, there is so much shit in this world that is beyond your control. Some of that shit is really fucking bad, but some of it is really fucking good. It’s always gonna be a roll of the dice. All you can do is make sure you focus your energy on the important stuff within your control.”

I rubbed Blue between the ears. “I’m going to ask Carter to marry me.”

A huge smile broke out over Ford’s face. “That’s one great thing to focus on. Make sure you get Taylor’s or Carter’s mom’s input on the ring, don’t want to get that shit wrong.”

A small grin came to my face. “Definitely don’t want to fuck that up.”

The waiting-room door opened again,and the same doctor and a new nurse entered. I could read nothing on the doctor’s face. The three of us stood, and Blue alerted at my side. “Miss McCarthy has been moved to the ICU. The surgery was successful but more complicated than we expected. There was a vascular tear we couldn’t see that caused some internal bleeding and a strain on the heart.”

“What does that mean?” I interrupted, my hands clenched into fists at my sides.

The doctor’s Adam’s apple bobbed. “Her heart stopped on the table. We were able to get it beating again and find the bleeder. We expect that she’ll make a full recovery, but we’ll know more when she regains consciousness.”

A tingling numbness had taken over my body, and there was a ringing in my ears. My beautiful, vibrant firecracker’s heart had stopped beating. I was jarred from my thoughts by the nurse. “I can take you up to ICU if you’re ready.”

We followed the woman to a bank of elevators. When the doors opened, we stood in awkward silence with only the ding of the passing floors filling the small space. I clenched and unclenched my fists, over and over, trying to force my body to relax, my heart rate to slow, but it did no good.

When the doors slid open again, I was right on the nurse’s heels. She led us into an area where a handful of small rooms circled a nurse’s station. She paused outside a closed door. “Don’t be alarmed by the different machines in the room, they are just helping to support her while she recovers.” I gave a jerk of my chin, and she pushed open the door.

My heart stuttered in my chest when I got my first look at Carter. There were tubes everywhere, including one coming out of her mouth that must have been helping her breathe. The split in her lip had been sutured, but the bruising around her eye and cheek had worsened in the hours since I’d seen her.

My stomach roiled at the thought of all that had been done to her. I dragged my eyes away from Carter’s broken body that looked so tiny in the hospital bed and looked at the nurse. “I need to know…” I could barely choke the words out. “Was she raped?”

A soft look came over the nurse’s face, and she laid a hand on my arm. “There were absolutely no signs of sexual assault.” I nodded, swallowing the emotion that clogged my throat. “You can sit with her. Try talking to her. Many patients report that they could hear those around them even though they couldn’t respond.”

I nodded again, woodenly. “Thank you.”

She smiled gently. “Of course. Just let any of the nurses at the station know if you need anything.”

I edged closer to the bed, pulling a chair behind me. I sank into it—more uncomfortable plastic. A hand gripped my shoulder. “Liam and I are going to give you a minute. You want us to get you anything? Water? Coffee?”

“No. Thanks, Ford.” He gave my shoulder a squeeze, and they eased out of the room. I studied Carter’s form, looking for someplace I could touch her without hurting her. One hand was on top of the blankets, but it had an IV in place, and a clip on one of her fingers. I carefully pulled back the covers to expose her other hand. It was thankfully free of any tubes or injury. Her nails still carried the pale pink polish that she loved so much.

I gently lifted her arm, laying it on top of the blanket, and clasped her hand between my own. I hated how cold it felt, how lifeless. I fought the urge to climb into the bed beside Carter. Blue’s paws plodded against the floor, I turned slightly to see him sniffing the air. When he caught Carter’s scent, he whined and then laid his head on the bed next to her hand. His tongue darted out, licking her fingers and mine.

I couldn’t stop the tears that fell, splashing onto Carter’s hand, held between my own. “You can’t leave me, Firecracker. I need you. Blue needs you.” I got no response, but Blue lapped up the tears as my chest heaved.

45

Carter

The first thing I was aware of was a faint beeping noise. The second was pain. I hurt everywhere. It seemed like even the strands of my hair held pain. I tried to tell my eyes to open, but the only thing I succeeded in doing was affecting a fluttering sensation. Suddenly, I felt pressure around my hand.

“Baby?” I relaxed slightly at the familiar voice. “Firecracker, let me see those beautiful eyes.” Austin’s words spurred on all the fight I had in me, and my eyes began to open. Austin’s face, slightly blurry, slowly came into focus. “There she is.”

I opened my mouth, which felt like sandpaper, and tried to ask what had happened, but all that came out was a “wha” and a whoosh of air. Austin quickly reached for a pitcher of water and poured some into a cup with a straw. He gently placed the straw between my lips, and I sucked down the liquid. Water had never tasted so good.

Austin started to pull the cup away, and I let out a sound of protest. “Slow down, baby, don’t want you to get sick.” I didn’t want to get sick either, throwing up while in this much pain did not sound fun. “Try not to talk. You had a tube down your throat, so it’s going to hurt for a little while.” Austin must have sensed my rising panic because he grasped my hand and said, “You’re okay now, everything’s going to be fine.”

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