Page 100 of Beautifully Broken Control

Cain scrubbed a hand over his jaw. “Yeah. That would be great. Thank you. For everything.”

Dr. Andrews beamed. “Of course. I’m glad everything’s going so well. I’ll give you two some privacy.” She winked at me and headed for the door.

I looked at Cain. “Brain surgery?”

His hand clasped mine again, bringing it to his mouth and merely holding it there. He whispered words against my skin. “I’ve never been more scared in my life. I-I—” Tears filled his eyes. “I thought I was going to lose you.” He moved my hand to his cheek and pressed it there, the stubble pricking my palm. “I thought I was going to lose you, and that you’d never know how much I loved you.”

I sucked in a sharp breath. “You love me?”

“I didn’t want to.” The words stung, but I didn’t want pretty lies, I’d had that all my life, I wanted the ugly truth. The truth that was beautiful in its ugliness because it was raw. Real.

Cain pushed on. “I wanted easy. Predictable. Numb. I didn’t want someone who would make me feel. I wanted someone I could place in a carefully constructed box. That was never you, you could never fit into some small sliver of my life, you snuck into every last piece of it. The scent of you lingers in every room, your touch burns my skin long after you take your hand away. You crawled into my fucking heart, and I know I’ll never get you out. I never want to try. I love you, Kennedy. And I’ll work for the rest of my life to atone for hurting you. I’ll tell you every last detail of my past. Show you any picture you want. Take out every last skeleton. You have me. All of me. Even the demons.”

Hot tears spilled over my cheeks. “I love you. I’ll love your demons, too. Just don’t hide them from me.”

Cain shook his head, keeping my hand pressed to his cheek. “Never again. I love you.” He chuckled, dropping my hand to the bed but keeping it firmly between his. “I was terrified of those words, and now I can’t stop saying them.”

I grinned, not caring that the motion made my head throb. “I’ll never get tired of hearing them.”

There was a knock on the door. Cain scowled. “Hold on.” He released me, but the fear of him leaving didn’t return this time. He pulled the door open a crack and spoke in hushed, angry tones. “Wait.” He shut the door in the person’s face.

Cain turned and strode back to the bed, a scowl on his face. “Preston’s here.”

The sound of my brother’s name had memories flooding back. Doug. My mom. Her plan. The pain. My hand shot to my mouth as tears filled my eyes again. “My mom.”

Cain gently pulled my hand away from my face. “I know, baby. I’m so sorry.”

“H-h-how could she do that?”

He pressed his mouth to my hand, lips skimming over my knuckles. “I don’t know, baby. I don’t know how evil can root itself so deeply in some people.”

I hiccupped. “Preston’s here.”

Cain tried his best to hide his scowl but was only partially successful. “The cops had to call him to question him. He hopped on a plane the minute he heard.” Cain glanced at the door. “I don’t trust him…but he seems pretty wrecked. Do you want him to come in?”

My chest constricted and released. I wanted my brother back. It didn’t matter how many past hurts lay between us. I’d forgive it all if I could just have him in my life again. “Please.”

Cain nodded and slowly turned back to the door, releasing my hand. Opening the door, he growled out a warning. “You say one thing that upsets her, and you’re out.”

Preston nodded. No snide or pissed-off response, just quick agreement. Cain stepped out of the doorway, and Preston gasped. I was sure I looked awful, but he didn’t appear much better. His hair was a tumbled mess as if he’d run his fingers through it hundreds of times, and his eyes were swollen and red. He shuffled his feet but never took his eyes off me. “Twinkle Toes.”

The two words had my eyes filling. “Pres.”

He rushed to my bedside, reaching out to take my hand but stopping short. He swallowed. “Can-can I touch you?” I nodded, and he scooped up my hand, squeezing it gently as he sat in the chair next to my bed. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I swear I didn’t know.”

“I know you didn’t.” My brother might’ve lost his way, said things that cut deep, but I knew he’d never physically try to harm me. He didn’t have that kind of meanness in him. I looked from my brother to Cain. “Where is she?”

He knew exactly who I meant. “In jail.” His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “Where she belongs.”

Cain leaned against the wall on the opposite side of my bed. “And she will be there for a very long time.”

Preston squeezed my hand again. “I know Dad screwed up. If I’m honest with myself, I know you did the right thing. But I was just so mad that you didn’t come to me first, let me try and fix it—”

“It wasn’t fixable, Pres. It was too far gone.”

He winced. “You might be right about that. But I was hurt. And I couldn’t let go of that anger.” Tears welled in his eyes. “And now I’ll never be able to take back all those horrible things I said.”

My fingers dug into the back of Preston’s hand, my heart at war with itself. He’d hurt me so badly, but under all the pain, one thing was true. I wanted my brother back. “I won’t pretend there’s not a lot of hurt lying between us, Pres.” He blinked back tears, and I hurried on. “But I want you in my life.” His hand spasmed in mine. “I think we can build a relationship again, don’t you?”

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