Page 35 of Beautifully Broken Control

“Hold on a sec.”

I turned to face Cain, annoyance tingling under my skin now. “Yes?”

He looked sheepish now, almost a little hesitant. “I have a friend who owns a dealership near here. I think he’d lend you a car until you’re ready to buy one.”

My jaw fell open. If there had been a fly nearby, it would’ve flown right in. “Lend me a car?”

Cain’s expression brightened, mistaking my dumbfounded shock for excitement. “Yeah, I can give him a call in a few. I’m sure he could have one here by tomorrow.”

My hands tightened around the strap of my dance bag, and I did my best to keep my voice calm and even. “What have I said or done that has given you the impression that I want a vehicle?”

He looked almost a little bewildered now. Adorably so, but I pushed that down. “You don’t have one.”

“Did it ever occur to you that I don’t have a car because I don’t want one?” And I didn’t. I could’ve scrounged together the money for one, but it would’ve been a waste. I didn’tneedone, and I was done with being wasteful. “I am perfectly capable of providing everything that I need for myself. I don’t need you sweeping in here, thinking you’re some white knight who’s going to fix everything for the poor Cinderella. I’ve got everything I need. So, just stop.”

I didn’t give him a chance to say another word. I didn’t trust myself not to do something incredibly stupid, like throw one of his ridiculously expensive gadgets at the wall. I turned on my heel and stormed out.

I jogged down the stairs and was met by Jensen. “What was all that about?”

I held up a hand. “I can’t right now. I’ll talk to you about it tomorrow.”

Jensen nodded slowly. “Okay. Ride carefully, you’re upset.”

I pulled her into a quick hug. “Thank you.” Tears threatened behind those words. I held them back until I was riding away. My emotions were all over the place. Anger. Frustration. Guilt. Shame. I let myself cry it out; the wind stinging my face where the tears tracked down my cheeks. I’d let it out as much as I could, and then I’d bottle it back up. Just like I always did.

12

Cain

“Fuck.”

Jensen’s face appeared in the doorway. “What the hell happened?”

I swiped a hand over my face. “I might’ve overstepped my boundaries.” That was a giant-ass understatement.

Jensen glanced around at the array of sensors, wires, keypads, and other gadgetry. “Uh, Cain? I said you could put some sensors in here, but you didn’t need to wire Fort Knox.”

I sat down on the end of Kennedy’s bed. “I got a little carried away.”

J took a seat on the couch opposite me. “What’s all this about?”

Jensen knew my story—the broad strokes anyway. The finer details were mine to carry, and mine alone. “Something triggered me last night.” Jensen stayed quiet, letting me get to it in my own time. “Kenz was going to ride that damn bike home after eight at night, and my thoughts just started spinning, and I couldn’t seem to get a hold of them. Each scenario that flashed through my brain was worse than the one before.”

“And that’s why you drove her home?” Jensen’s voice was gentle, holding not even a hint of judgment.

I nodded. “When I dropped her off, I saw that there were only basic locks on the back door, and my mind started cycling again. How easy it would be to break in. That no one would be around to hear Kennedy scream if something happened.” I forced my eyes closed, trying to block out the images, the memories. A wet, rough tongue licked at my hand. My lids flew open to see a brown and white face looking up at me as if to say, “it’s okay.” I gave the dog a scratch behind the ears. He started to drool.

“Cain.” My gaze rose to meet Jensen’s. “Is this about Kiara?”

I don’t think Jensen had ever spoken her name out loud to me. Maybe at the funeral, but that time was all a blur. “It always is.” The grin I gave her was sad more than anything else.

“It wasn’t your fault.”

Fire licked at the back of my throat. I’d heard the words a million times before, and never once had I believed them. “I knew my mom was a basket case. I shouldn’t have left Kiara with her.” I rose and began to pace. “But I just had to go to college, use that fancy scholarship.”

“You had an opportunity to make a better life. For you and your sister. Can you tell me for one second that you were going to leave Kiara and never look back?”

I ran a hand through my hair. Of course, I wasn’t. I’d had a plan.We’dhad a plan. I studied my ass off in high school, worked nights and weekends, saving every penny I could for my and Kiara’s college funds. God knew my mother wasn’t saving anything, it all went to her booze and a premium cable TV package.

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