Page 36 of Beautifully Broken Control

Then, I’d gotten a scholarship to Portland University. One of the best criminal justice programs on the west coast and their computer programming department hadn’t sucked either. Kiara and I had made a new plan. I’d go to college, keep working and saving so that we’d have enough to send her to university when she graduated two years later.

I’d checked in with her every day. She’d never said a word about Mom slipping from drinking into drugs. Not a single hint that Mom had started bringing sketchy guys back to the house for parties. My little sister, who was better than I would ever be, kept silent so I could have my fucking dream.

But what good was that fucking dream when she’d lain dying hours away? My breaths started to come quicker. I couldn’t seem to hold on to the air.

Jensen rose and crossed to me. “Breathe, Cain. Just breathe.”

I watched J’s chest rise and fall and copied the movements.Fuck.I’d thought I had put these panic attacks to rest. It had been so long since my entire life had crumbled around me. I’d learned to control it all—my fears, my anxiety. I’d built a life where I didn’t have to feel any of those things, and that was the way I liked it. Then, my mom had to invade my city. Even in death, she was able to ignite the pain of all the wounds she’d inflicted over the years.

Jensen pulled me in for a hard hug. “I know my hugs make you feel awkward and uncomfortable, but you’re just going to have to suck it up. You’re loved, Cain Hale, and there’s nothing you can do to change that.”

The burn in my throat was back. “I’m going to tell Tuck you hugged me for so long.”

J laughed into my neck. “Good. It’ll keep him on his toes.” She slowly released me. “You going to be okay?”

I nodded. God, I hated that J had gotten this glimpse into all the insanity that swirled in my mind. But there was nothing I could do about it now. “I’m going to dial back the security in here.”

Jensen grinned. “Probably a good idea.” Her brow furrowed. “Was this what got Kenz all upset?”

I scrubbed a hand over my jaw. “This was part of it, but I think the kicker was when I told her I had a friend who owned a car dealership who could loan her a car.”

Jensen dropped her face into her hands and slowly shook her head. When she looked up, I could tell she was trying desperately to hold in her laughter. “You don’t have a friend who owns a dealership here.”

My lips pressed together in a firm line. “I could have a friend you don’t know about.”

J couldn’t hold her laughter in any longer. “But you don’t. You were going to buy her a freaking car, weren’t you?”

Heat crept up the back of my neck. “Don’t be crazy.” I paused as Jensen arched a brow at me. “I was going to lease one.”

Jensen’s laughter grew until tears rolled down her face. “Oh, Cain. You picked the wrong girl.”

“What do you mean?”

J straightened, her laughter subsiding. “She’s not charmed by expensive gifts. In fact, I’d say they have the opposite effect. I mean, look around you.”

My gaze traveled over the space that was Kennedy’s. Everything about it said simple and homey. The two-seater table in the kitchen had an old jar she’d turned into a vase by tying a ribbon around it and filling it with the wildflowers from the field behind the Kettle. The bookcase held worn paperbacks, a photo of her and a blond young man from at least ten years ago that burned my gut, and more jars. These jars were painted with the wordgratitude. There were a few that were full of slips of paper, and one that was three-quarters of the way there.

The quilt on her bed was worn and housed a snoring-again dog, though the pup looked to be purebred, looks could be deceiving. The door to her closet was still open, and there were hardly any clothes inside. Fewer than any other woman’s wardrobe I’d seen.

“She likes to live simply.”

Jensen’s words brought my gaze back to her. “I’m getting that.”

She patted my arm. “Give her a chance to get to know you. Are you going back to Hope House?”

I’d planned on it, but I wasn’t sure Kennedy would greet me with open arms now. “Tonight.”

“Good.”

“I’m not interested in her like that.” The lie tasted bitter on my tongue. “I just want to be her friend.” Now, I sounded like a five-year-old. Great. I shoved a hand through my hair.

Jensen’s lips twitched. “Whatever you say, bigshot.” She glanced down at the mess around us. “Now, what are you going to do about all of this?”

I grimaced. “I still want to put a system in here, but I promise I won’t go overboard.”

“Sounds like a plan. I have to go pick up Noah, but here’s an extra set of keys. Lock up on your way out?”

I caught the keys as she tossed them to me. “No problem. And I’ll swing back by tomorrow morning to finish setting things up and to walk you through the system.”

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