Page 4 of Beautifully Broken Control

Preston ripped his arm from my grasp. “Next time you think about protecting me, do me a favor and stay the fuck out of my life.” Disgust filled his eyes. “I can’t even look at you.”

Preston stormed down the stairs, and I crumpled to the floor. “It was the right thing. I did the right thing.” I whispered the words over and over as I rocked back and forth, tears streaming down my face. I’d done the right thing, the only thing I could live with. But I wasn’t sure I could live with the hatred in my brother’s eyes either.

* * *

My hand shookas I took the paper cup of water Agent Carnes handed me. He was all kindness and concern now. He’d gotten what he wanted, but I think he felt a little guilty for talking me into an action that had blown my family apart.

My phone buzzed in my purse under the chair for what seemed like the millionth time. I couldn’t bring myself to pull it out. “I take it the news got out?” My phone had started ringing two hours ago and hadn’t stopped since.

Carnes grimaced as he took a seat in the chair opposite me at his desk. “It’s not good.”

I set the paper cup on the oak surface. “Can you get any of it back? The money he stole?” The hope in my voice felt juvenile, even to my own ears.

“Not enough.”

Tears filled my eyes. “How much do people know?”

Carnes looked out of his office window at the sun starting to rise on the horizon. “There’s a leak in the department.” My heartbeat stuttered. “They know everything.”

“Okay.” Maybe it was better this way. I knew the whole world would find out eventually. This was just ripping off the Band-Aid. All the pain in one night. I had to face it. I pulled my cell out and looked at the screen. A friend had texted me a news article.Is it true?I scanned the article, and my heart stopped, my entire body locked, only my eyes moved to dart to Carnes’ face. “Is this real?” I turned the phone around so he could see the article.

Carnes winced, the lines in his face deepening. “Yes. One of your father’s clients committed suicide tonight.”

A burning sensation started up in my chest. So bright and strong, it stole my breath. I tried to suck in air, but the action didn’t seem to work. All it garnered me was a gasping sound, no relief, no oxygen.

Carnes gripped my shoulder. “Breathe, Kennedy, just breathe. Slowly now.”

I tried, but it mostly came in short pants. “Is. This. My. Fault?” Sure, my father had built the bomb that had detonated tonight, but wasn’t I the one who had launched it?

“No. There’s only one person who’s at fault.”

The man who’d read meA Little Princessmore times than I could count had made someone want to end their life. And all I could think about was what I could have done differently.

Carnes squeezed my shoulder, bringing my gaze back to him. “Your father was never going to be able to dig himself out of this hole. It was only a matter of time before it all came crumbling down around him.”

My body began to shake as the sobs came. Violent and all-encompassing. So many things flashed through my mind. So much privilege. Tuition to one of the most expensive universities, as many ballet lessons as I wanted, my favorite pointe shoes, our trips to Paris, and St. Barts. I’d loved it all. But none of it was worth a human life.

“It’s going to be okay.” Carnes handed me the cup of water again. “Not right away. But, eventually.”

I didn’t believe a word he said, but I did my best to get my ragged, hiccupping breath under control, to staunch the tears that seemed to have an endless pool to draw from. “What’s next?” My voice shook as I asked, but the sobs stayed quiet.

“You might have to testify, but I honestly doubt it. There’s no hiding what he did. Your father kept his company small for a reason. His employees had access to some of the data, but only his second in command had access to all of it. Your brother’s in the clear.”

My breath came out in one big, trembling whoosh. Preston was safe. He’d forgive me eventually. “Okay.”

Carnes rose. “I believe you’re free to go.”

I pressed my lips together as I stood, my legs just a little bit shaky. A combination of adrenaline and a sleepless night. “Thank you.”

Carnes shook his head. “We should be thanking you. Not many people would have done what you did in your place.” He paused for a moment, rubbing a hand over his stubbled jaw. “I’m sorry you and your family got caught in the crossfire.”

I didn’t say a word in reply because what was there to say to that? Agents kept telling me I’d done the right thing, but it didn’t change how empty I felt inside.

Carnes opened his office door and led me through a maze of desks towards a small waiting area. My mother rose as she saw us, her face pale, but her hair still in that perfect chignon she wore, not a strand out of place. Her movements were graceful. Like always.

She seemed to glide towards me. Some sort of slow-motion Grace Kelly. Her hand came out of nowhere, and the crack of flesh against flesh echoed in the room. I wasn’t sure what had shocked me more, the sound or the stinging burn in my cheek.

Carnes moved quickly then, grabbing my mother by her arm. “Mrs. Barrington, that’s enough.”

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