Page 58 of Beautifully Broken Control

My jaw clenched. “No. I didn’t.”

“Cain, the urge will probably always be there. You lost someone close to you in an incredibly violent manner. Someone you saw yourself as the protector of.”

“I was her fucking protector!” The words tore from me with a vehemence I couldn’t control.

“But that wasn’t your job.”

Emotion burned the back of my throat. “I promised her I’d always look out for her.”

“And you did. But your mother should’ve been looking out forbothof you. She didn’t. And she let someone into her life she shouldn’t have.”

“Don’t. Just, don’t. I don’t have it in me to talk about that today.” I couldn’t handle the truth of what had happened to Kiara on top of the disaster that was work and trying to sort through everything in my head about Kennedy. Everyone had their breaking point, and this was mine.

“Okay, Cain. We don’t have to talk about it. But I want you to give yourself some credit. Whether or not you decide to pursue Kennedy, you care about her. She triggers those protective instincts in you, but you haven’t gone overboard. It’s fine, healthy even, to want to make sure she’s safe.”

“Okay, Doc.”

Murphy sighed. “It’s all right to let yourself care for someone, Cain.”

“I know.” And I did. In theory. It was the practice part I struggled with. Because the second I thought about kissing Kennedy, I imagined how it would feel to lose her. The problem was, I didn’t think I was strong enough to walk away and let someone else have her either. It was a purgatory of my own making.

I cleared my throat as I pulled into a parking spot outside the community center. “I have to go. I’m at the shelter. I just wanted to check in real quick.”

“I’m glad you did. Keep calling, okay?”

“Will do.” I hit end on the call and climbed out of my SUV. The air was warm, the seasons’ turn to early summer officially upon us. I needed to get a boat. The lake was calling me. I pushed open the door to the community center and came face-to-face with Anna.

“What’s going on with Kenz?”

“What do you mean?” Worry pricked at my skin as though it were suddenly too tight for my body. “Is she okay?”

I started to head towards the rec room and kitchen, but Anna took hold of my arm. “Cool it, cowboy. Nothing is wrong.” Her face scrunched. “But somethingiswrong. You get what I mean?”

The tension running through my body eased a bit. I did get it. Kennedy had come face-to-face with her past last night. Of course, it was messing with her head. “It’s not my story to tell. But she’ll be okay.”

Anna’s eyes narrowed at me. “Spill.”

“I can’t. I’m not going to betray her trust that way, not even to you.”

Anna let out what almost sounded like a growl. “Fine. Tell me what to do then.”

I couldn’t help the smile that tipped my lips. I was so glad Kennedy had this kind of friend in her life. “Just be there for her. But act normal. I’m hoping she’ll open up on her own time and not because we forced her.” But I knew I could only go along with that plan for so long. Soon, I’d have to start some gentle pushing.

“All right.” She turned and headed towards the rec room. “Hurry up, pretty boy. I got potatoes that aren’t going to peel themselves.”

I chuckled and followed behind her. That laugh died on my lips as I saw Kennedy talking with Doug. He was close. Too close. I strode towards them. “Hey, guys. What’s up?”

Doug dropped his hold on Kennedy’s arm. “We were just chatting about the Portland ballet.”

My jaw clenched. “Didn’t she already tell you she didn’t want to go?”

“Cain!” Kennedy’s outrage was clear in her tone, but I didn’t give a fuck.

Doug cleared his throat as his face reddened. “Actually, she said she was too busy to attendSwan Lake, but we were discussing shows later in the season.”

“She’s not interested, buddy. Get a clue.”

“God, you’re an asshole. Kennedy, we’ll talk later when he’s not around.” And with that, Doug turned and headed for his office. What a catch.

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