Page 74 of Beautifully Broken Control

“Kenz, things have changed. We’re together, figuring this thing out. I want to take care of you. Why won’t you let me?”

She swung her feet off the bed and stood, beginning to pace. “Did it ever occur to you that I don’t want someone to take care of me? That I can take care of myself?”

I got to my feet. “Oh, you take such good care of yourself that you were begging me to send the ambulance away because you had no health coverage? You can take that good care of yourself?”

Kennedy glared at me. “It was an oversight that I’ve now corrected. Jensen has already submitted an application for me.”

“Yeah, for some budget plan that will have crappy coverage. I have the means to get you the best. Why won’t you let me?”

“And what happens when you leave, huh?”

My body jolted. She thought I was going to leave her. That as soon as this nasty business with my company passed, I’d be gone for good. Even if things didn’t work out between the two of us, I’d never cancel her health insurance. Was that seriously what she thought of me? When my eyes really took in her face, I saw it, the fear, the uncertainty. She’d opened up to me completely, given me everything, and I was still holding back. Like I always did. I crossed to Kennedy, pulling her into my arms and resting my chin on her head. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“You live in Portland.”

“I live here.”

“But you’ll need to go back there eventually.”

The idea of going back to Portland, a city I’d always thought I wanted, didn’t hold the same appeal anymore. There was something special about Sutter Lake, the energy that flowed through the town and the wilderness surrounding it. This place was good for me. Being surrounded by people I trusted, who I knew cared for me, not for what I brought to the table, but because I was family to them. There had to be a way for me to stay on permanently.

I pressed my lips to the top of Kennedy’s head. “I may have to go back occasionally, but I like it here. And when I go, you can come with me.” Already, I couldn’t imagine leaving her here, spending a night without her. I’d slept better last night than I had in almost two decades.

She pressed her face harder against my chest as if she were trying to burrow inside me. “My name is death for any business. When the truth of who I am gets out—and it will if we’re ever photographed together—it could ruin things for you.”

“Kenz, if anyone doesn’t want to do business with me because I’m with a woman who was so brave, and cared so much about doing the right thing that she helped the FBI arrest her own father, giving up every privilege she’d been raised with in the process, then I don’t want their business anyway.”

Kennedy seemed to sag against me. “You say that now, but it might be different when half your clients walk.”

They wouldn’t. She overestimated how hated she was. Her brother was at work for another financial firm already. Time dulled people’s memories. I rubbed a hand up and down her back. “It’ll be okay. I promise.”

“I want to try. But we have to find a way to meet in the middle.”

I pulled her back to the bed, sitting and tugging her into my lap. “What does that look like?”

She nibbled on her bottom lip. “I’ll ask Jensen if there is a better plan I can get under her insurance. You can pay the difference in plan prices until I can handle it on my own. Fair?”

I wanted to argue how ridiculous this was, that the price of the premium plan I’d gotten her was mere pocket change for me, but I held those thoughts back. What was important was that she was protected, would have no reason not to go to the doctor. “Fair. What about the death trap?”

Kennedy sighed and rolled her eyes. “I want to keep riding my bike.” My muscles tensed. “But I know my body needs some recovery time. Could you give me a ride to ballet and the shelter for a couple of weeks?”

I hated that she was already planning on going back to work. That she wasn’t asking for a ride to the Kettle because she was planning on staying in her studio. Well, that was fine, I’d just stay there with her. “I can do that. Will you avoid that hill from now on?”

“There’s another route I can take. It’s just a little longer.”

“Thank you.” I brushed my lips against hers. “I have one more request.”

She studied me. “And what’s that?”

“You let me stock your fridge with Perrier.”

Kennedy burst out laughing. “If that will make you happy, go right ahead.” She gave a happy sigh. “It has been nice to have my Perrier again.”

She’d been drinking it like crazy since she was at my house. It was such a tiny thing, but it brought a smile to her face, and Kennedy had been depriving herself of those little things for far too long. I could see clearly that it was some messed-up form of atonement for a situation that wasn’t hers to assume. I was going to do everything in my power to get Kennedy to let herself enjoy the simple pleasures in life again. Giving her endless Perrier wasn’t enough, but it was a start.

31

Kennedy

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