Page 91 of Beautifully Broken Control

I’d lost half my heart when Kiara was killed, and I was fairly certain Kennedy had taken the other half when she walked out that door. I’d just have to figure out how to exist without it. I didn’t want it back. I wanted it where it belonged. With Kenz.

My phone buzzed again in my pocket. At least, I’d put it back in there and not dropped it on the cement in my panic. I pulled it out, expecting to see Jensen’s name and maybe some more of her colorful cursing. But it wasn’t. It was an alert.

My dummy program. My brows furrowed. It had to be an error. A glitch in the code. I tapped on the notification, quickly scanning through the text. My gut twisted. Jake. The program I’d sent to Jake had been uploaded to a computer outside of our network yesterday, one hour after I’d sent it to him.

Blood pounded in my ears. None of this made sense. Unless…my mind circled back to the encounter with Rachel. There’d been something in her eyes that’d told me she was hiding something. I’d just assumed it was the extent of the damage she’d done to Halo. Or maybe that she’d been embezzling, and we just hadn’t caught it yet. But what if all of it was a lie?

An image of the pain that shone in Rachel’s eyes flashed in my mind. I’d hurt her, and if there was one thing I knew about Rachel, it was that she had a vindictive streak. I’d seen it more than once in her decade working for me, but it had always been to my advantage. Now, it had been turned against me. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that, after the other day, she would’ve sold anything she could get her hands on to my competitors. She would’ve done anything she could to cause me pain.

I hit the contacts icon on my phone and dialed Jake. “You’ve reached Jake. Leave a message.” That twisting in my gut intensified. Rachel hadn’t sold a damn thing. She’d lied to hurt me, knowing I counted on her and Jake most of all, maybe hoping it would give the real culprit a chance to cause more damage.

It had been Jake all along, and I’d given him a head start by coming clean to him earlier. I hit another number on my phone. Two rings, and someone picked up.

“Dante.”

“It’s Cain.” I hoped he was in the country and could drop everything to hunt down the son of a bitch who’d thrown away everything I’d ever given him, who was so greedy that the millions I’d paid him over the years weren’t enough. “I need your help.”

Dante, always on alert, always ready for what a client might lay at his feet, said only one word. “Talk.”

I filled my PI in. I’d used Dante on various things over the years. While we hadn’t opened up and shared life stories, which would be difficult given the fact that the man barely talked, I knew he always got the job done. “I need you to find him. I’m filing charges. I want that fucker in jail.” I sucked in a breath. “He’ll go low-tech. He knows I can track him if he touches his bank accounts or credit cards. My guess is car travel and cash.”

Dante grunted. “I’m on it.” He said nothing else. Simply hung up.

My feet automatically began moving me back to the dock, to the water, the one bit of peace I had left. All I’d ever have. It would have to be enough.

39

Kennedy

“All right,it’s time for wine.” Jensen hurried past me and pulled open the fridge door, pawing through its contents until she found what she was looking for and emerged with a bottle. “You get the glasses.”

The pouring of wine meant I was no longer off the hook. We’d spent the day readying the Kettle to open again. I’d helped J prep dough for tomorrow’s baked goods, sorted teas, and wiped down tables. She hadn’t asked one question, just let me sort through my feelings in silence.

Except I wasn’t sorting. I couldn’t. Because I was numb. It was as if everything inside me had simply turned off. It was a self-protection mechanism. Because if I let myself really feel the depth of losing Cain, I worried I’d fall into a pit that would be impossible to climb out of.

I pulled two glasses from a shelf. They were designed for juice, but beggars couldn’t be choosers. Jensen inclined her head to the front of the shop. “Come on.” She led me towards the two overstuffed chairs in the back corner. I set the glasses down, and she gave us both a healthy pour. “Hit me with it.”

I settled into the chair, slipping off my shoes and pulling my knees up to my chest. I needed the comfort. The points of contact. The pressure to hold me together. “I don’t really know.” Jensen simply arched a brow at me. “He wouldn’t talk about his past. All he’d say was that he lost someone. It was clear he was hurting. There’s so much pain in him, J.”

She nodded, concern flashing in her amber eyes.

I studied her face. “You know.”

J took a sip of her wine. “Only the broad strokes. That he lost his sister in an incredibly violent way. That he takes it on himself. Takes responsibility for everything. It’s why he was so overprotective of you.”

“I’m getting that.” I twisted the glass of wine in a circular pattern on the table between us. “Him keeping something from me, something that I knew was hurting him, was hard for me. I told him everything. About my family. My shame. I laid it all at his feet, but he couldn’t trust me to let me in even a little.”

“I don’t think it’s about trust, Kenz. It’s just too painful for him to go there. I don’t know a lot about that time in his life, but I overheard Walker talking to my dad one night when he was home from college for a weekend. Cain lost it when he found out. Took a swing at a cop. He was admitted to the hospital on an involuntary hold.”

I sucked in a sharp breath. Images of my beautiful, strong, kind Cain, restrained. Sedated. Those invisible claws dug deeper into my chest. I could only imagine how alone he’d felt. I wanted to wrap my arms around the image in my head. “I hate this for him. All of it. I’d do anything to take it all away.” I swallowed, tears brimming in my eyes. “But I also can’t walk on eggshells for the rest of my life, wondering what random thing might set him off.”

Jensen’s brows pulled together. “What happened?”

I told her about the cake, now realizing it must have somehow reminded him of his sister, then about going into the bedroom, finding the photo. “I wasn’t trying to snoop. I swear. I just—there aren’t any photos in his house. So, when I saw that one…”

“You were naturally curious. I get it. Kenz, you were pretty much living there, I don’t think you’re evil for looking at a photo that was sticking out of a drawer.”

But guilt churned in my stomach, its choppy waves making me feel just a bit nauseous. “But I invaded his privacy. I get him being mad. I do. The thing that absolutely kills…” A burn started up in the back of my throat. I swallowed it down. “I was starting to feel like we were a team, like maybe, just maybe, I could build that family I’d always wanted. But in that moment, I was on the outside looking in. We weren’t a team anymore. I was the enemy.” My breath hitched. “I don’t think anything has ever hurt that much, not even losing my brother.”

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