Page 46 of Viparious

I turn before he can wish for my death like he did before we were married, and my steps are easy, filled with confidence I don’t feel. I don’t need to haunt the hallways with my sobs and manage to make it to my new room without breaking down fully. As soon as the door clicks, my knees weaken, and I slide down the wood, holding anything I can reach for support.The floor is flat but my hand sticks to it like the world has tilted off its axis. My other hand goes to my stomach to remind myself that there’s someone else with me. Someone who needs me to be strong and I can’t fall into my hurt because they will feel it too.

You don’t just fucking disappear for six fucking weeks and then turn up again. You don’t leave your wife while you’re still inside her. No human being treats another like that and can say they care about them. I didn’t even expect love, all I ever wanted was care and respect. From my parents to the asshole I’m married to. But they’re incapable of giving it, and I’m a fucking fool who expected different.

Heavy footsteps pound closer but there’s no knock on my door. They pass me, going to the door beside mine and it opens as Vlad continues his usual nighttime routine of checking on his family. Moving further away to Vitali’s door, his low, rough bark travels through the wood. It’s not loud enough for me to make out the words, but it vibrates through the air like a hum.

The steps are lighter as they go back upstairs, and I can relax knowing he isn’t going to force himself into my space. He’s got everything he wanted. He’ll be throwing a party with no guests, the peculiar fucking prick. Rather than try to sleep, I force my limbs to move and shower. The entire time he’s been away I’ve worked from home to get the new building for Steorra ready. I can spend every waking second inside of it, so I don’t have to deal with his shit.

Standing under the spray, I rub across my bump, promising to create the best life for us both. My baby won’t ever be left alone or to wonder if something has wiped their mother out of existence. It will never experience the fear of not knowing if its mother is dead or alive. Vlad won’t be able to get close enough to inflict that pain with his need to fucking disappear all the time and we’ll be happy. There’s a blank space when I close my eyes and imagine our life — Vlad’s silhouette.

My tears are slow and hotter than the spray as I whisper down to the small bump, “You’re going to be so happy, and we’ll have a house with a swing. I’ll make sure you never know what loneliness is and I will never allow the harshness of this world to force you into a single decision. You’ll become whatever you want to be.”

I sway on my feet. I have to lean against the tile to stop the dizzy spell. It keeps happening, I can deal with throwing up even though it’s disgusting, the lightheadedness is worse, and I breathe through it with my eyes closed as the water beats down on my skin.

Arms wrap around me from behind and I struggle to get away from them as a scream bounces off the tile. My foot slips in my attempt to escape, but they tighten, keeping me on my feet. The hard chest at my back has my body relaxing and the deep rumble in my ear makes me wish I was being attacked.

“Careful, meelaya.”

I’d be safer if it was a random killer instead of a familiar one.

Vlad doesn’t loosen his arms despite me digging my nails into his wrist. Pushing my weight back also doesn’t work, it just highlights that we’re both naked, and I sound hysterical over the sound of the water.

“Get off me, you fucking creep.”

His arms loosen slightly, enough for me to peel them away and push around him to get out of the shower. My hair is dripping, and I fight with the stupid towel to get it off the holder. Wrapping it around my body as quickly as I can, the naked asshole calmly follows me.

He acts as though this is normal and wraps a towel around his hips before he grabs another one and moves forward to touch me again. I hold up both to stop him, and there’s too much emotion in my voice.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

I can see angry healing wounds on his torso that weren’t there when he left. The gunshot wounds on his shoulder and leg are all healed up when they were red in my memory.

He left with wounds, and they came back as scars.

Being the prick he is, he opens his stupid mouth.

“I needed a shower, and I thought we’d save water.”

Expecting him to be a normal fucking person is my own fault. I should never have wasted my breath speaking to him and conserve it now. My sopping wet hair drips behind me, the water hitting my ankles as I turn and refuse to acknowledge him. He hasn’t even asked if the baby is okay because he doesn’t care. His wet steps slap against the floor and he steps in front of me, blocking my exit. He holds my nape, and his hands are colder. They’re always warm, but that’s another thing my mind forced me to believe. They get colder the longer he stares into my eyes like he can see into my thoughts and his voice darkens.

“Did someone hurt you?”

There’s nothing but defiance filling me as I tilt my chin up and I take the opportunity to prove my point.

“Would you punish them if they did?” We both know I’m talking about him, but the idiot nods his head and I’m only laughing so I don’t cry. “The mirror is over there. Start issuing your threats and see if you listen.”

His hand tightens on my nape as he looks over my shoulder like there’s going to be someone else’s reflection behind me. Vlad sounds younger as he stares down at me and there’s vulnerability in his eyes.

“What did I do to you?” he asks more to himself than me.

Tapping his thumb in his usual pattern against my neck, the digit barely applies any pressure. Humiliation burns through me, and I don’t give a fuck about my language spelling out his crimes.

“Your dick was still inside me when you left me to go be with her. You broke your promise, the only thing I asked for, and turned your wife into your mistress.”

There’s no reaction other than confusion.

Obviously he fucking expected me to sit back and be dumb while he’s literally having a conversation in front of me. There isn’t a woman Vlad cares about other than Vanya, whoever she is, she has the one thing no other person on this planet will ever get. I wish I could hate her, but she’s innocent like I am. This is all Vlad’s fault, his need to use people and be secretive hurts everyone.He pulls everyone into his game of power, and we are both pieces on his board. One of us shouted we were the queen while the other is hidden away, probably unaware of her own importance.

Stepping around him, the cold-hearted devil comes to life and straightens up. He doesn’t look at me, and there’s no emotion as he asks, “What do you want?”

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