Page 108 of Volatile

I have a damp towel in my hand and hold it out to him when he comes back while staring at the blood staining his white T-shirt.

He looks over his shoulder and whispers, “Some people shouldn’t be allowed children.” He wipes the blood off his arms and neck as he looks back at me. “When she was a kid — eight or nine — her mom taught her a trick to make her stop crying.”

“A trick?” I whisper back and wet another towel to clean the floor and walls.

“Yeah, she handed her a knife and told her to imagine that the tears are leaving her skin.”

The hot water scalds my hand but I’m frozen as I stare at him wide eyed. “Why the fuck haven’t you killed her?”

“Because Kristi asked me not to. She has this dream of being successful and then one day, she’ll get to drive past her shitty mother and ignore her the same way she was. It’s not my punishment to give unless it’s what she wants.”

He steps closer, turning off the faucet and gently stroking my reddened skin. “Stay with her for me. Just while I?—”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Tali softly kisses my forehead, his lips lingering, then turns to slowly leave as he stares at Kristi laid on the bed.

If he doesn’t want to kill the stupid bitch who thought a good idea of parenting was telling her child to mutilate herself, then I can ruin her life. I’ll teach Kristi how to do it and it will give her something to focus on too.

THIRTY-NINE

Vitali

For once, Val doesn’t act like a dick as he hands me a first aid kit and asks, “How long have the guards been giving Stasi shit?”

“Which fucking guards?”

He looks down at my T-shirt, a crease forming between his brows and his voice slowing. “She didn’t tell you?” He gestures to the blood on me. “I figured that’s why you’re like that.”

I have to put things in order of most harm so I’ll kill whoever the fuck said shit to my woman once I’ve made sure my little sister is safe. That little shit doesn’t get to leave or take her anger out on herself when she’s family. We all have our shit and Kristi was incorrectly taught to absorb her hurt rather than stick it to everyone else like the rest of us do.

Viktor walks into the kitchen with Verena on his back and he abruptly pushes his hand up, covering her eyes, as he distracts her from the state I’m in.

“Can you guess where we are?” He spins around, attempting to disorient her and I leave them to play before the trio of terror come in.

Stasi is laid beside Kristi when I go back into the pool house and they’re both haunted as Kristi whispers, “I won’t be able to stop again.”

There’s blood seeping through the thin sheet she’s using to hide behind and I clear my throat before I walk closer to the side of the bed. We have a system and I’ve cleaned her up too many times already in our short, unconventional friendship. It’s why she flops on to her back and blindly holds her arm out for me as I lay out the dressings and antiseptic wipes. Stasi copies her and holds her hand like she knows that Kristi is embarrassed about being seen at her weakest.

She’s a dumb kid, bitchy as fuck, and a mouth that’s quicker than her mind. One thing she doesn’t understand is that there’s nothing weak in admitting she needs my help. Both of them don’t get it. They go through life alone when all I’ve ever promised is to give them everything they need to be happier, healthier.

Fucking stubborn women.

I’ve never winced when I’ve hurt someone, but I do it now as I wipe around the cuts littering Kristi’s arm while she remains still. Tears slowly slip from the corners of her eyes, racing down her temples and soaking into the pillowcase. But once her arms are covered and I have a pile of red wipes beside me, she closes her eyes, shutting everything out.

She won’t be safe on her own and this is worse than the other time, so I quietly move around the room to get rid of the bloody wipes and search for anything sharp that she could use. Then I go into the bathroom and take the blade from the sink and wrap it in tissue paper before shoving it in my pocket so she can’t do something stupid.

The sheets rustle and I stand at the threshold of the bathroom, watching how the bitchy kid thaws and curls up in Stasi’s side like a child. My woman is amazing, I’ve always known it, but now she proves it as she allows who she truly is out. Stasi doesn’t push her away or act cold like she does with the rest of the world, she hugs her and kisses the top of her head, whispering, “It’s going to be okay, Tali won’t let anyone hurt you. Especially when it’s yourself, it’s his superpower.”

Taking the bag that Stasi dropped, I grab my hoodie that the little shit stole from me and refused to give back because in Kristi’s own words she deserved something expensive for putting up with me annoying her.

I lay beside them and stare up at the ceiling as the room remains still. All of us have our grief and there’s some twisted comfort in knowing that we don’t have to speak, we don’t have to put a name on this thing that’s outside of our control. We just get to experience it and we know that someone else knows what it’s like, even if the circumstances aren’t the same, the emotion is.

Stasi’s phone beeps and she discreetly takes it from her pocket to check the screen. I don’t need to see her face to know that she’s torn about leaving, so I softly say, “Can you go and steal whatever food Viktor’s made?”

She shakes her head in my periphery but she gets up and Kristi waits until she’s left to give me shit through her sniffles. “Your family are weird as fuck.”

“They’re yours now too, welcome to the circus, Crusty.”

---