Page 75 of Volatile

The first hit of chocolate on my tongue is heaven and I focus on chewing so I don’t inhale it. My mother can bitch about my clothes not fitting all she wants, I won’t be in any of the photos anyway and I’m too pissed at myself to even care about what she’ll say.

Viktor’s question is timed perfectly to stop her invading my mind. “How do you know the beaver thing is true?”

The only children I’ve ever interacted with have all been traumatized and I don’t try to bullshit my way out of knowing I’m right as I gesture to his phone. “Search it, vanilla flavoring is made from the glands in their ass.”

I should have said butt instead of cursing.

My mood lightens with him arguing, “That can’t be right, it doesn’t taste like it’s got animals in it, and wouldn’t it have a shit aftertaste?”

“Do you eat shit regularly to know what it tastes like?” I raise a brow and trap my spoon between my lips to prevent my laugh from escaping as Viktor loses.

He’s usually quick witted, annoyingly so from Tali’s complaints, but now he pauses, searching for a retort before he says, “No but the smell would be there. When Dom was a baby, he stank. One time,” he laughs, dropping his arms flat on the island, “my dad must’ve messed up his diaper because it was all over Dom’s back. My mom called him and told him to come home because it was that bad.”

“Did it smell like vanilla?” I ask, laughing freely.

“Nope.” He pops his lips and begins eating his ice cream again. “Do you have brothers or sisters?”

“I’m an only child, like you were before Dom came along.”

Viktor hums, reminiscing on a time before he was stuck with a little brother to annoy him but there’s no malice in his voice as he complains, “You’re lucky, I have to share everything with him and Vasy. They’re annoying and they always sneak into my room.”

We find comradery between our bowls of ice cream and I’m able to forget all the shit around me, until he changes the topic to something that makes me want to choke.

“Why don’t you sit with us every morning?”

I keep the spoon in my mouth, so I don’t have to answer and get a hit of chocolate coating my tongue, but the little shit keeps interrogating me around his ice cream and cookie dough.

“I saw you leave the house, we all know that you’re Tali’s girlfriend, so you know you don’t have to run away, right?”

I’m not letting him give me shit when I refuse to allow his uncle to and fire back, “Oh yeah, is Grace your girlfriend?”

The smirk on his face is dangerous and shows that he’s going to grow up to be so much worse than his dad and uncles. He’s a mix of all of them, but he doesn’t unleash the verbal cruelty his dad is known for, he makes a deal like Vlad.

“Okay, I won’t say anything if you don’t. My dad will end up coming to my school and asking her a million questions.” His eyes widen dramatically as he shakes his head. “Or hugging her.”

I nod and don’t notice how much I’ve eaten until it feels like I’m going to burst. Viktor finishes at the same time as me and I take the plates, but he stares at me like I’ve got two heads and he’s never seen someone clean before. His eyes track me until they’re washed and put away, then he slips off the stool and comes to stand at my side. His arms wrap around my middle, and he shows the perceptiveness he’s inherited from Vitali.

“If you don’t want to be alone we’re all sleeping on Vlad’s floor,” he says softly while still hugging me. “But Vasy and Dom are annoying so you might want to avoid them.”

I hesitantly pat his back as he offers, “We can watch a movie if you want?”

The devil appears now that he’s been mentioned, and Viktor gives me a smile before he leaves the kitchen and goes to watch his movie after I shake my head.

Vlad is like a terrifying cousin, whereas Dima is more like my older brother. I wish it was the latter in front of me, but he assesses me and makes sure Viktor’s innocent ears won’t overhear anything as I step back to prevent any of the guards on patrol talking shit.

“What happened?” Vlad asks, his voice low and his brows come together when I take another step back. “Did you find something else?”

The front door opens, cutting him off and I die a little inside as Inessa stops in the lounge to ask Viktor, “Shouldn’t you be asleep, rypka?”

“My mom said I can stay up and the others are asleep,” he says.

She doesn’t trust me to be in the same house as her husband, I knew it in the back of my head but it still hurts, and I force my face to remain blank as I walk out of the double doors leading into the garden. The cold night air is familiar since I’ve been hiding in the dark for as long as I can remember, and I fall back into old patterns as I walk around the edge of the house, avoiding the windows.

I’m not the coke head or party girl as I sink down with my back against the wall and hide in the shadows near a shrub. The guards’ dumbass voices reach me, and I hunch my shoulders forward despite the fact I can’t be seen as they say, “Give it a few minutes and you’ll hear someone screaming while the slut gets Vory bingo.”

Another one joins in, laughing with their agreement. “Yeah, I’m surprised Borya didn’t send her away. He probably had to burn the room she slept in so it didn’t infect anyone else in the house.”

I nearly laugh at that. Not because of what they’re saying, it’s Vitali’s descriptor of my childhood bedroom in my memory, he called it a servant’s room when I took him to it and there was nothing to burn.

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