Page 2 of Knot Enough

"I see. Do you think there's a medical reason why you feel like that? There's even treatments we could try to see if they work." He suggested. My heart stopped. Did he seriously think that the reason I didn't feel comfortable having sex or not wanting to be naked in front of another person was because there was something wrong with me?

"No, I don't. I've always felt this way. Ever since I was young, there isn't a medical reason why I'm like this. Are you not happy with me?" I asked, keeping my voice as calm as I possibly could. I get that how I felt was sometimes hard for people to get their heads around. I didn't want to be mad at him for asking questions.; he was genuinely trying to understand me. Logan's expression was hard as I asked him that question. Dread filled my chest. If my scent matches couldn't love me for who I am, who would? All the boyfriends I've had before them rejected me because I wouldn't have sex with them. I was always honest at the start of the relationships. They would say they could handle it. They could love me. Then, after a while, I'd find them in bed with someone else.

"Well, I have needs, Lydia." "What do you expect me to do, Lydia?"" You know our relationship wasn't serious, right? I'm waiting for my scent match."" Only a scent match could love you." They would all say the same things when asking to break it off.

"Of course not. We're happy to have found you, Lydia. I just wanted to ask," Logan explained. I wanted to believe him, I really did, but the doubt didn't stop.

Lydia! Lydia! Lydia, open this door right now!" A familiar voice woke me from my dream. I groaned at the memory. Every bloody night, I have flashbacks. I hated how real they felt - as if I was back with them.

"What!" I grumbled out while I pulled on a pair of shorts. I grabbed my phone and winced at how early it was. Corretta wasn't an early bird. Why was she here? I opened the door and leaned against it. Corretta was standing there in a pair of baggy pants and a cropped top. I could see tiny shimmers of glitter over the exposed parts of her body.

"I figured you haven't been out of your room for a while, so I stopped by to give you groceries before my class." She shrugged. I looked down and saw several plastic bags in her hands. I reached out to grab them, but she pulled away. "Nope, last time I stopped by, you left all your groceries on the counter. Even the things that would spoil. I'll put them away for you." She declared, pushing her way inside my dorm. If she was bothered by the mess of clothes and trash, she didn't show it. She was my oldest and longest friend. We met on an online forum for asexuals and we clicked with each other almost instantly.She comes around every so often to bring me food or check up on me. I think it was her way of looking after me.

"Corretta, you don't have to do that. I'll put the cold stuff away this time." I pleaded, following her into the kitchen, where there were stacks of dirty dishes in the sink. I hated her looking at my room the way it was. Instead of replying, Corretta hummed as she started putting things away, completely ignoring whatever wrappers or dirty cups were around her. I watched for a minute before giving up and returning to bed. I watched videos on my phone while I waited for Corretta to finish her stubborn streak. When she got like this, there was no point in stopping her. I was half asleep when Corretta opened my bedroom door.

"Finished! Now I don't have to worry about you starving yourself. I'm headed off to class, but before that, here's a bowl of cereal." She said quickly, setting the bowl on my nightstand then swiftly making her exit. Her footsteps echoed through the other room, followed by the front door closing. I glanced at the bowl from my spot on the bed. I didn't eat anything yesterday. I would pass out if I didn't consume something soon. Getting up, I grabbed the bowl and started to eat. Finishing off the cereal and drinking the leftover milk, I put the bowl in the sink to wash later. Exiting my room, I noticed that my dorm was a lot cleaner. The little brat had sorted my clothes into clean and dirty, cleaned the trash up, and when I went into my kitchen, I saw all my dishes had also been washed. I could feel tears starting to form. She really was a great friend. I missed talking to her, but she had a lot going on with college and her ballroom dancing, so I didn't want to add more to her plate. I sent her a text telling her thank you and decided to clean the bowl before returning to my bed. Once again, my sleep was flooded by nightmares.

It's hot. Why is the house so hot? Why am I so hot? A massive cramp erupted from what felt like my waist.

"oWww." I cried out. Tears started down my face. Is my heat starting? Other omegas said you get really hot, sweaty, and horny. I feel all of those, but I certainly don't want a knot. That must be due to the medicine I take to lessen the effects of my heat.

"Lydia, what's wrong?" Logan came down from the stairs leading to the bedrooms. I saw his nostrils flare at my thickening scent. "You're in heat, " he said.

"I noticed." I retorted through gritted teeth as another painful cramp ripped through me.

"Let's get you in your nest, then, " he said, coming towards me. He picked me up, and I leaned against his chest as he helped me up the stairs. "I'll call the others and let them know. For now, I'll get their blankets and sheets, " he continued.

"Thank you," I said with a sigh of relief. It was good to know that my scent matches would be with me, and they hadn't run for the hills.

"It's no problem," Logan reassured me as he helped me on the mattress in my nest. I cuddled into the blankets that smelled like all of them. I barely noticed Logan coming in and out with more sheets and blankets when I got the urge to nest. My suppressant would keep me from becoming completely mindless during the thick of my heat, but it would still hurt a lot. The doctor advised me to keep my scent matches close to help ease the pain. I planned on doing exactly as he suggested. Once I finished my nest, I sat on my legs and puffed out my chest in pride. I couldn't wait for my alphas to see what I had done.

With the nest finished. I started to worry about where my alphas were. Their workplace wasn't that far away from our house. At most, it would take them about 20 minutes to get here with traffic. As if he had read my thoughts, Connor approached the door to the nest. I could smell his leather and motor oil from behind it.

"Come in!" I called out before he had a chance to knock. Connor, with his slick black hair and suit, walked in. He looked around the nest with wonder. "Do you like it?" I asked. Connor's eyes shot to me in the middle of the nest.

"I love it, " he said with a polite smile. I furrowed my brow. I had expected him to be more excited. Was he lying about liking it? Connor stepped further into the room but stopped right before the floor dipped into the mattress. "Did you still not want us to help you through your heat?" he asked.

"I want you here in my nest, but like we discussed, I just want cuddles and to be taken care of," I reminded him as I crawled to him. When I got to the nest's edge, Connor raised his hand to entangle it in my hair. I unconsciously leaned into his touch.

"I understand, I'll let the boys know and we'll help you through this," Connor reassured me. His words started a light purr in my chest.

"Okay," I nodded enthusiastically. Connor gave me a quick kiss on the forehead before getting up and leaving my nesting room. I waited patiently for all three of them to return at the foot of the nest. Seconds turned into minutes, minutes turned into hours, and hours turned into a day. My body continued to cramp in pain, and my stomach protested in hunger, but I didn't move. They would come back; they had to.

Before I realized it, I had fallen asleep where I sat. Groaning from the cramping and aching from an uncomfortable sleep, I blinked awake. My body ached from the position I slept in, but my mind was alert. I listened for any sounds or smells that could tell me my pack returned. They didn’t. My cramps have calmed down now. There was a dull pain, but I could bear it. My stomach continued to grumble. I didn't see Logan bring in any drinks or food, so I went to the kitchen. Leaving my nest, the only place I felt truly safe, I tiptoed into thekitchen to find something to eat. My eyes landed on milk and cereal for breakfast. Or was it lunch? It didn't matter. Taking a clean bowl, I filled it and sat down at the uncomfortable stools Connor ordered for the kitchen island. As I ate, I wondered why neither Connor, Logan, nor Brett joined me. Did they not like the nest? Was it me? Had they changed their mind? Did they have an important work thing to finish? These thoughts swirled around my mind until I heard the front door open. Their scents flowed into the room. They had come back! I knew they would!

Leaving my almost-finished bowl, I ran to the front of the house, almost slipping on a rug. My pace slowed as I got closer. I stopped when I realized they smelled wrong, like alcohol and... omega. I watched them stumble and nearly trip as they took their shoes off. Brett was the first to notice me.

"Sweetheart, why are you here? Aren't you supposed to be in your nest?" He asked with a confused expression. I ignored him.

"Why do you smell like that?" I asked instead. I could hear my heart pounding. Connor and Logan had noticed me now but didn't look me in the eyes. All three remained silent, so I repeated my question. "Why do you smell like another omega!" I yelled out. All three of them seemed to shrink at my words.

"Let me explain," Logan said, walking towards me. I stepped back, making sure I was out of reach. I didn't want that repulsive scent anywhere near me.

"Don't touch me. How could you! I was waiting for all of you, and instead of being with me when I needed you, you go off and fuck an omega!" I growled out. They cheated on me while I was in heat and with another omega. Logan stopped where he was and didn't move.

"Please, Lydia, we can-" Connor started.

"If you weren't such a hard ass about sex, maybe we would have stayed. I mean come on how do you expect us all to be in your nest for days without getting some relief?" Brett yelled out. My anger was at full blast as his words shot through my heart. A nest was a special place for an omega. It’s where they go to feel safe, protected, and loved. It wasn’t meant to be a glorified sex room!

---