Page 35 of Knot Enough

“Don’t ever apologize for something like that. Your emotions and feelings matter to me. I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you about what I wanted beforehand.” He said, looking equally as apologetic as I felt.

“Why don’t we agree to let bygones be bygones and learn from this.” I suggested. If we continued to blame ourselves we would never move past this.

“Agreed.” He said, pushing his forehead against mine. We enjoyed each other's presence for a long time before Gabriel left me to finish getting ready.

I heard another knock on my bedroom door a few minutes after Gabriel left. I was currently deciding what to wear. “Lydia?” Sorren’s voice came through the door.

“Yes?” I said, turning to the door and away from the several outfits I was trying to choose from. After a beat, Sorren’s head poked through the door.

“You almost ready?” He asked. There was a massive smile on his face as he stared at me.

“Almost. I'm having trouble picking an outfit.” I answered. I turned my head back to my clothes.

“Maybe I can help.” I heard Sorren say as he came up behind me. He circled my waist with his arms and pulled me towards him while he looked down over my head. I could feel his chin and the weight of his head on top of mine as he looked at my bed, where my clothes were laid out. I would have asked Gabriel to help me, but he and Finn were a bit busy when I looked for them. I didn’t even have to open Finn’s door to hear their grunting and moaning. It was crazy to see just how little self control Gabriel had around our pack. It didn’t feel realistic to me.

“I think this one would be best,” Sorren said, pointing to the single sundress I owned. It had a pleated plaid skirt, and the top half was a button-up with short sleeves.

“You think so?” I asked. I rarely wore dresses on a day-to-day basis. I liked them, especially ones on the shorter side, but I never enjoyed leaving my legs bare. Skirts were nice. I could wear stockings or yoga pants under them, but with my height, dresses rarely looked good paired with stockings unless they were really short.

“Yep, it's perfect for what I have in mind,” Sorren confirmed as he nuzzled my ear. I giggled at the tingling feeling and lightly pushed him away.

“Go, I have to get dressed,” I tried to say with a stern expression, but my smile was wide.

“As you wish, my lady,” Sorren said and took a deep bow. I rolled my eyes at him as he left my room. Once he left, I got to work on preparing myself for the date. Sorren mentioned I didn’t need to worry about the type of shoes as long as I didn’t mind them getting dirty. I double-checked my outfit in the full-length mirror Gabriel and I have in our room. Satisfied with the result, I left our room and headed to the living room.

I saw that Gabriel, Finn, and Graham were cuddled on the couch as I stepped into the large space. Sorren was also leaning against the back of the sofa, watching the show. Everyone noticed me at the same time. I watched Gabriel and Sorren’s faces light up once they saw me. Gabriel sprang from his spot beside Finn and raced to me before Sorren could. He lifted me up from the ground and spun me around.

“I missed you,” Gabriel admitted as he ran his cheek along my face, scent-marking me. I giggled in his hold.

“I wasn’t gone for that long,” I said, nuzzling my face against Gabriel’s cheek. I felt Gabriel’s fingers brushing against my cheeks as he stared at me.

“Still too long for my liking.” He confessed. He kissed me lightly on my lips. I would have liked to deepen the kiss, but Sorren had pulled him away from me.

“As much as I love seeing the two of you together. Today she’s mine, Gabriel. I’m not sharing.” Sorren pouted. Gabriel looked like he was about to argue, but I quickly pecked him on the lips before standing beside Sorren.

“I’ll see you in the nest when I get back,” I told Gabriel. He still looked like he wanted to complain, but relented after several seconds.

“Fine, but we’re cuddling all night when you get home.” He declared before sitting back down in his spot between Finn and Graham. He crossed his arms in a pout, but I could tell through the bond he was happy for me, and most of his pouting is just for mischief. I shook my head at his antics before grabbing the arm Sorren had held out for me.

“All night, I promise,” I called over my shoulder to Gabriel as we left the house. Sorren guided me to an expensive-looking red car. I couldn’t tell the exact make and model, but it definitely cost more than what my indie writing career could manage. The seats even had a button to warm or cool them down. Sorren chuckled at my wide-eyed expression as I looked around the car. He started the car and exited the driveway of the house. Moments like this are when I’m reminded that Sorren was a pretty famous movie director.

“Are you still keeping where we’re going a secret?” I asked as I looked out the window at the passing city buildings and people.

“Yep. I think you’ll like it, though.” Sorren said simply. “Gabriel had mentioned how he met you, but I don’t think you ever told us your side of the story.” He asked. A shot of nervousness ran through my body. It wasn’t my favorite story to tell. Sorren must have noticed my darkening mood through myscent because his hand went from the gear shift to my hand. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

I shook my head and turned my hand around to grip his and squeeze. “No, I want to. It’s just-it’s not my happiest memory.” I pause to settle myself. “I don’t really remember meeting Gabriel for the first time. He said I picked up papers for him or something, but I was too depressed to remember much of anything at the time.” A coping mechanism I’ve come to regret. “What I remember is being in my room back at the Omega Institution. I had spent the previous few days crying my eyes out and barely eating.” I hesitated to continue, not sure if I could. This was the first time I have been able to tell someone since it happened. Sorren squeezed my hand. Watermelon and mint filled the car in comforting waves giving me the courage to continue.

“I was in a pretty dark place at the time. I was thinking about ending it all and finally getting peace from the pain I was in, but as I made the decision to do it, Gabriel came barging into my bathroom.” I felt a small smile appear on my face as I recalled what happened next. “He looked so frantic, his hair was messy, and his clothes were haphazardly put on. He reminded me of a frizzy hamster. The moment he set his eyes on me, for the first time since I was rejected, I felt something.” I finished. I noticed Sorren’s hand that gripped the steering wheel had turned a lighter color. His whole body had grown tenser the more of the story I told. He breathed deeply a few times as I waited for him to say something.

“I'm glad you're with us, Lydia. I need you to know that.” Sorren implored. As we stopped at a traffic light, he turned to stare intently at me. Feeling self-conscious, I nodded and tried to look down. Sorren’s hand quickly grabbed my chin, preventing me from doing so. A satisfied expression was on his face as he kissed my lips lightly. The kiss was slow and gentle, like a million emotions and feelings had gone into it. Sorren pulled away slowly, and it felt like I could stare at his eyes forever, when someone hocking from behind us made us both jump.

Sorren yelled out an apology and started to move the car again. My face was bright red as we continued on the road. Our conversation carried on with lighter topics. Eventually, Sorren turned it into a game of 21 questions. I was laughing from a childhood story he told me, by the time we had arrived at the place Sorren had in mind. He opened my car door, and I hopped out to find we were in front of a pottery store. I glanced at Sorren seeing that his cheeks turn red while he avoided my eyes.

“I hope you like pottery. Gabriel said you’ve never done it before, and I figured we could try it.” Sorren explained as he held out his hand for me to take.

“I suppose we’re about to find out,” I said, taking his hand. The inside of the building had several sections of clay types and tools that people could buy.Sorren led me into the back of the building, where there was a door with a ‘pottery class’ sign hanging from it. Sorren guided me through the door, to a space that had several pottery-making stations. I chose the spot furthest from the rest of the group and waited. Sorren sat across from me. An instructor came through the door a few moments later. She had several paint spots on her overalls and her body. She went immediately into the inner workings of the tools in front of us and how to use them. She left us to our own devices after a couple of examples and practice rounds.

A large pile of grey clay sat in front of me. I wet the pile of clay and started using a flat disk in one hand. My other hand maneuvered the clay to shape it into something I like. I didn’t have a goal in mind. I mainly wanted to make something; it didn’t have to be good, just not bad. I tried repeatedly to get the shape I wanted, but the clay broke or moved out of shape when I pressed too hard. My brow furrowed more and more every time I had to restart. I was just about to give up and ask for help from the instructor when I heard Sorren’s voice.

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