Page 44 of Under Pink Skies

“I’m going to get some air,” I said. It physically pained me to disentangle myself from Abbie, but the air in the cabin suddenly felt stifling. My skin was hot, as anxiety began creeping up my spine. I refused to glance back in Abbie’s direction as I made a beeline for the door. I heard Kameron call out my name, but I was focused on getting out into the open air.

As soon as I stepped beyond the threshold and into the dark Washington night, the cool mountain air wrapped around me, and the tight ball of anxiety in my chest loosened. I inhaled deeply, held it for five seconds, and released it. I repeated that until my hands stopped shaking.

How many times would I leave her until I finally got a grip?

I was selfish for allowing myself to get this close to her. It didn’t matter what I wanted. I was here to give back to Winding Road and to get her closure. I wanted to give Abbie the answers I hadn’t been able to all those years ago. And instead, I was letting her get close to me again, not keeping her at bay. Because I was a selfish man who still wanted it to be the two of us in the end.

“Connor,” a familiar voice called, full of concern. The screen door of the cabin slammed with a loud smack, and I whirled to face Abbie.

“I’m so sorry for ambushing you like that,” she said, grimacing. “You told me something deeply personal about your past, and I didn’t know what to say, so I hugged you instead, but now I’m realizing that was probably the wrong thing to do, especially in front of your friends . . .”

I took several steps towards her, wrapping my fingers around her upper arms and rubbing reassuring circles into her soft skin.

“You didn’t ambush me,” I said quietly, looking into her blue eyes. “I’m still working on controlling my anxiety. It tends to flare up in public spaces on a good day, and talking about my sobriety with people who aren’t Kameron can be difficult for me. I’m honestly grateful you hugged me. And I meant what I said in the kitchen. That you seeing my sobriety and the work behind means a lot.”

Her eyes shone bright in the moonlight, and a wave of déjà vu swept over me. We’d done this so many times as teenagers. Snuck off into the woods during bonfires to lie down in a clearing together, gazing up into the night sky, renaming constellations, and talking about the future we’d have together. The air surrounding us felt charged, and as she took a step closer to me, the invisible string between us lit up like a live wire.

“Truth,” I murmured. “Seeing you with my friends tonight made me realize maybe it’s possible for the past and future to coexist. Maybe the work I’ve done to break out of my negative thought patterns means that now I get to step into a new future.”

Abbie took my hands in hers and gave them a reassuring squeeze.

“Truth. The more time I spend around you, the more I realize that I never truly knew you. We were kids, and we wanted to see the best in each other. And I sometimes wonder if it was real. Because seeing you now, as a man who has done the hard work to heal past wounds, I can’t shake the feeling that we could have had more if we’d met at a different time.”

My mouth parted on a sharp exhale. Without thinking, I raised my hands to cup her face, my thumbs sweeping over Abbie’s cheekbones. I took the tiniest step closer, our chests brushing against each other.

“Connor,” she sighed. Her eyes fluttered closed, and I pressed my forehead against hers.

“Abbie,” I whispered, absorbing every ounce of this moment between us, unsure if I would ever get something like this again.

Right as I tilted her chin up to slant my lips over hers, the screened door banged open, and we jumped apart.

“Oy, assholes, Imogen requests your presence for a karaoke version of ‘Cruel Summer,’” Lucas called. “Not yours, Harvey, we all know you can’t sing for shit. This message is for Abbie Collins only.”

“We’ll be right there,” I called, and Lucas retreated inside. Abbie had taken several steps away from me, her cheeks deeply flushed, one arm crossed over her chest as she held her bicep.

“Duty calls,” she said sheepishly, brushing past me as she ducked back into the cabin.

I lifted my face to the moonlit sky and allowed my eyes to shut. The image of Abbie’s eyes fluttering closed as her face neared mine danced across my eyelids.

Chapter 15

Abbie

Imadecoffeeinmy condo the next morning, unable to shake the feeling of Connor wrapped around me from the previous night.

I was playing with fire. I wanted to believe I was ready to get burned. That I could handle him leaving me again. I could handle a casual summer fling, even if deep down, it felt like the opposite of a no-strings-attached flirtation game.

We’d retreated into the cabin, and after my intense “Cruel Summer” showdown with Imogen, we’d made more festival plans. Today, Lucas would take on the stall construction while Connor and I visited some of the local businesses who had asked about supporting the festival either as vendors or donating things to the charity raffle. Most businesses wouldn’t be open until noon, so we decided we’d have a slow morning. Given that it was Sunday in a small town, almost everyone was at church. Connor planned to meet me outside my apartment a little past noon.

I drank my coffee on the couch while reading the final chapters of the fantasy romance. I gave it a quick 4-star rating on Storygraph, writing my classic ‘full review to come’ for all three of my followers. I glanced at the clock on the stove. I had thirty minutes until Connor arrived, so I threw my ass into high gear to make myself vaguely presentable with some jeans, my favorite pair of boots, and one of the faded band t-shirts from my clean laundry pile. It had been a long few days, and my house was suffering for it. I needed a self-care day soon.

Connor knocked on my door at ten past noon, right on time. I grabbed my belt bag off the hook by the door, giving him a small smile as I stepped out of my apartment and locked the door behind me.

“Good morning,” Connor said, and I returned the greeting while giving him a quick once over. His new style leaned towards lumberjack, with his classic plaid button down rolled at the sleeves. His top button remained undone, revealing a respectable amount of skin that made my brain enter squirrel mode.

Everything Connor did seemed to set my skin on fire these days. It was becoming harder to tell the difference between what was driven by nostalgia for the life we once had, and the excitement about this new connection sparking between us.

“Where to first?” Connor asked as I walked toward the front door of the apartment building.

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