Page 45 of The Red Woman and the White Bear

In the morning, Rodney drove her and Briar into town in his ancient Subaru, but Aisling lingered in the hallway outside of her apartment door. Coming back into her life felt like tugging on a too-small sweater from the back of the closet: once a perfect fit, now uncomfortable and constricting. Her skin itched and the faint smell of oil and paint that seemed always to waft up from the hardware store on the ground level stung her nose. She’d never minded it before. She missed the smell of the Wild.

A note was taped to her door, a message scrawled in Seb’s messy handwriting. Stopped by to check in after the quake - Li gave me yourspare key. Cleaned up a couple broken glasses but everything else looked fine. Let’s grab dinner when you get back – Seb.

Another earthquake. Another echo. Aisling balled the note in her hand and drew in a deep breath, pushing down the guilt that rose in her chest. She opened her door just wide enough to reach in and grab a heavier coat and a pair of gloves, then let Briar pull her back downstairs and onto the street. The cold was his favorite weather; he was all too happy to stay out as long as she wanted. Aisling let him take the lead and he meandered in the direction of the harbor.

“Aisling! You’re back!” Lida’s loud greeting made Aisling’s heart skip a beat. She fumbled for words for a moment, then reminded herself of the weak explanation Rodney told her he’d given when her friends had asked after her.From the city. Back from the city.

Lida was waving excitedly from the other side of the street. Aisling raised a hand in response. The tight smile she willed to her lips didn’t come close to reaching her eyes. “Hey, Li.”

Lida hurried across the intersection to meet Aisling at the corner. Briar’s favorite of Aisling’s friends, he strained against the leash to push his head into her hand. She scratched behind his ears. “Rodney said you went to quit your job. How did that go?”

“Fine.” Inwardly, Aisling seethed; he’d left that part out. Of course, they’d probably gone ahead and fired her by now anyway. And after everything she’d been through, the idea of dressing in a suit and tottering into the office on high heels to sit behind a desk was nearly laughable.

As Lida talked, Aisling tried her best to listen. But the way their breath curled into the cold air, ghostly tendrils that swirled lazily onthe breeze, resembled all too closely Kael’s dancing shadows. Aisling breathed into her gloved hands instead.

“What are you doing right now?” Lida asked. “Are you on your way somewhere?”

Reluctantly, Aisling shook her head. “Just taking a walk.”

“Great!” Lida seized her hand and began leading her in the opposite direction. “I’m on my way to Savers; Jackson and I are going for a weekend away in Anacortes and I want a new date night outfit.”

Savers, now Dogwood Boutique, was one of very few clothing stores on the island. It had been rebranded a few years back as a consignment store, but despite the new owner’s best efforts, no one seemed keen on the changes. Savers was a secondhand staple in town; Dogwood Boutique sounded too pretentious for Brook Isle. The consignment section shrank and shrank until it was relegated to the back corner, and the better part of the store reverted back to thrifted bargain racks.

Briar’s entrance earned a sidelong glance from the girl at the counter, but most had come to accept him and Aisling as a package deal. Despite his size, he was quiet and careful and far better behaved than some of the smaller dogs—and most of the children—on the island. He stuck close to Aisling’s side.

Lida’s happy chatter soon faded into a monotone hum in Aisling’s ears as she wandered aimlessly between racks, fingers glancing off of the different materials idly. She felt out of place, and there was a stinging loneliness that scratched at the very edges of her heart. It was so faint she only noticed it when she was paying attention, but it was there. And it wasconsistent.

She drifted then toward a vintage white nightgown that hung between a yellow sundress and a pair of faded jeans. It was long and plain, with just a smattering of lace around the neckline and sleeves. She rubbed the slippery fabric between her thumb and forefinger absently for several seconds before she realized why she’d been drawn to it from across the store. It looked strikingly similar to that white dress she’d been forced to don prior to the ritual when she’d first been imprisoned. She dropped the hem as though it had given her an electric shock.

“Gross, Ash.” Lida looked at the dress, nose wrinkled. “That sack wouldn’t do you any favors.”

No, she couldn’t imagine it would. Nor had the one she’d worn that night. When she turned away from it, her eyes snagged on her figure in a mirror on the wall. Her stomach sank. She knew that face: distant, distracted. Haunted. It was her mother’s face. She swore under her breath and blinked the image away.

Instead, she looked over the top of a rack of skirts at her friend. She’d known Lida since elementary school; she and Seb had been among the few kids to support Aisling unconditionally through all of her family’s ups and downs. It was Lida and Seb who Aisling told, in hushed tones on the playground, about her mother’s stories—back when she’d believed them. Lida had held Aisling’s hand at her mother’s funeral when her father had been too angry and bitter to stay through the service. Lida’s parents had kept them fed for months afterward.

As she watched Lida deliberate over a blouse three sizes too large for her tiny frame, Aisling wondered what she’d say now if she wereto confide her own stories. She wouldn’t—couldn’t—but it was a nice thought. Certainly Lida would be a better audience for everything Aisling wished she could say about Kael. She hadn’t yet told Rodney about that part of her time in the Unseelie Court, though he likely had some idea based on what Lyre told him.

But none of that mattered now. Kael was through with her. If both were lucky, they’d never see each other again.

Satisfied with her purchases, Lida suggested meeting Jackson and Seb for lunch. Aisling craved the distraction, but exhaustion pulled her towards home.

“Raincheck?” Aisling again held her gloved hand cupped around her mouth to catch the vapor before it could remind her too much of her mistakes. “I don’t want to leave Briar tied up.”

“Of course; I’ll plan something for next week when Jackson and I get back.” Lida dropped her shopping bag onto the sidewalk abruptly and seized Aisling in a tight hug. She held her close, patiently waiting for Aisling to reciprocate. Slowly, Aisling melted into it, hooking her arms around Lida’s back. She soaked in her friend’s warmth and let it thaw that bitter chill that encased her.

“Does this mean you’re staying?” When Aisling nodded, Lida tightened her grip further for a few more seconds before dropping her arms and pulling back.

“Thanks, Li.” She meant it with her whole heart. And on the walk back to her apartment, her heart felt lighter for it.

“Ihave someone I want you to meet.” Rodney stood outside of Aisling’s apartment, bouncing one foot anxiously against the ground. He gingerly grasped two steaming to-go cups that were likely burning through his gloves. Aisling gazed at him for a moment through her peephole. She hadn’t forgiven him yet.

“I don’t want to meet any more of your so-calledfriends,Rodney,” she hissed through the door.

“He isn’t like Lyre, Ash. He’s Solitary, like me.” He stacked one cup atop the other so he could shake the heat out of his hands one at a time.

Aisling scoffed. “Is that supposed to make me feel better? I don’t particularly likeyouright now, either.”

“Come on,” he insisted. “Open up. Your tea’sgetting cold.”

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