Page 23 of Ties That Bind Us

And of all people, it had to be Nick. How had I not realized who Nick was? He’d had a gun strapped to his ankle the night we had sex, for goodness’ sake. Why hadn’t I thought that was strange? Probably because I’d been completely blinded by that devilish smile and the way my body felt in his hands. Even now as I sat in my own fury, the memory was creeping into my mind and trying to distort my feelings

Had he known who I was that first night? He said he hadn’t, but I couldn’t exactly take the word of a guy like that, someone fluent in lying and deceit. He was about to be a Mafia Don, and me, his wife. This was a complete disaster.

For most women, a wedding and marriage were exciting things. It was the start of a new chapter in your life—one you’d spend with a man you were head over heels for. You’d start a life together, build a family, and be nauseatingly happy and in love. My idea of marriage had been distorted from the beginning, but I had never imagined it would come with these circumstances. That I’d be twenty-three, not even out of school, and promised to marry as part of a business deal. As hard as I had been trying to prove myself to my father, he still saw me as just a pawn; another woman in his life he didn’t mind walking over to get to his eventual goal. What would even happen when this was done? Would Nick take over his family? Our family? Was it even worth it to finish school if I was made to be some sort of housewife? My mind spun like I was standing at the edge of a cliff trying to balance on one foot. I felt like my world, and every possibility of what my future could be, was crumbling underneath me.

I covered my face with my hands, trembling as I sat on the edge of my bed. My only option was to run. I had to leave, get out of here and as far from all of this as possible. Far away from my family, from Nick, from the Mafia. I needed to start fresh somewhere, where who I was and the things I had done didn’t matter.

I grabbed a bag from my closet and started tossing random things in. I had no idea what I would need, but I wanted nothing to tie me to this life. A few tops, a pair of jeans; I was sure I could buy a new wardrobe wherever I ended up.

There was a soft knock on the door that I recognized distinctly as my mother’s. When I didn’t answer, she opened the door anyway. I wiped a few errant tears off of my cheek quickly, and turned to face her.

“Aren’t you a little old to be running away from home?” She gave me a sympathetic smile, gesturing to my suitcase. Could you even call it running away from home when you were in your twenties?

“I’m just getting rid of some things,” I lied, knowing how fickle that sounded. We both knew what I was actually doing.

“Your father told me about Gio Caponelli’s offer.” She sat down on the bed and patted the spot next to her, testing the waters.

“It wasn’t an offer.” I sat down next to her. “You have the right to decline an offer.”

“Sweetheart, I know you’re upset, but marrying into the Caponelli family could be a wonderful thing. I’ve heard great things about Nick and—”

“It doesn’t matter if you’ve heard great things about him, Mom. It doesn’t change the fact that everything about this is wrong, and so is the fact that he’s willing to go along with it. He’s an arrogant jerk.”

“Ava, you’ve known him all of five minutes. Give the boy a chance,” she scolded, not aware that I knew him a little better than I wanted to admit. Calling him an arrogant jerk was giving him a chance. What I really thought of him was going to require some colorful language I couldn’t break out in front of my mother.

As far as I was concerned, he’d been playing games with me all along. He had to have known the truth, what was coming for both of us, and instead of being up front, he’d hidden it from me. He’d lied and washed his hands of the entire thing, playing like he was a victim as well. He’d done nothing to prove me wrong.

“What could Dad possibly be thinking, Mom? This entire thing is absurd. He promised that if I got myself together he wouldn’t do something like this.” I shook my head, recalling our conversation from just a few weeks ago. He had threatened an arranged marriage, but never in my wildest dreams had I thought he would do it, especially since I was doing everything he asked and then some.

“Ava, your father is doing what he thinks is best for you, for all of us. This isn’t some kind of punishment, I wish you would stop seeing it that way. Your marriage to Nick will help this entire family. You’ve always talked about wanting to contribute to your father’s business, he’s finally giving you that chance.”

“Mom, I wanted to contribute by helping Dad with legal stuff, not act as some sort of human sacrifice.”

“I know it feels like that, but it’s not true, sweetheart. Your dad loves you and he thinks this is what’s best.” Her words were shallow, but I knew she didn’t have much choice in this either.

“None of that matters,” I blurted. “I don’t care about finding someone with a good job or a lot of money who can take care of me. I’m so tired of hearing that. I want to marry someone who loves me. Who chose me.”

Someone who can give me a life far away from all of this.

“Honey, just because this is an arranged marriage doesn’t mean love can’t be involved. Keep an open mind, Ava. Life with Nick Caponelli will be much different than it is around here, but that’s not always a bad thing.”

I fought the urge to scoff. Living in a cardboard box on the streets would be better than life around here right about now. At least then I’d be free.

“Your father has known the Caponellis for a long time, and I truly believe Nick is a great match for you. If you open yourself up to this, you might be surprised by the good that can come from it,” she said gently.

She stood up, then bent down quickly to kiss my forehead. “If you try this, and it is as terrible as you think it’s going to be, I will talk to your father and we will figure something else out.”

I perked up at the option; she was the only one in the world who could change my father’s mind. It didn’t happen often, but it wasn’t out of the question, and it was my only hope. She continued, “But you have to promise that you will do your best to work this out. And unpack your damn bag. You’re an adult, Ava, you can’t run from every problem you face.”

“I promise,” I agreed, still hating the idea of this but willing to hold up my end of the deal. I’d never be able to leave my family behind, and I needed to find a more mature way to deal with the Nick situation.

My mom’s compromise made me feel like at least someone was on my side. I was certain that marrying Nick would be just as awful as I thought, but I would humor her and at least talk to him. There was so much unknown about the situation, and if I was going to go through with this, I refused to be left in the dark.

“Good night, sweetheart. Try to get some sleep.” She gave me another sympathetic smile and closed my bedroom door.

I took a deep breath, lying back on my bed and staring at the ceiling. Visions of my first night with Nick fluttered through my mind. The way he held me against the shower wall, sending me reeling through orgasm after orgasm as hot water pounded against both of our bodies. The way I’d woken up with my legs tangled in his like we’d been holding on to each other for dear life the night before. The silly smirk he had on his face as he flicked his tongue against the whipped cream on his sundae. That night, he had been carefree and wild, no responsibilities and no one to answer to. That was the way I wanted him. Seeing him in a different environment tonight had been a shock. He wasn’t all that different himself, but my feelings toward him had changed drastically. Maybe I was just being stubborn and closed off, not allowing Nick the chance he deserved.

When I woke up the next morning, I was hoping to find that this had all been some kind of nightmare. A sinking feeling formed in my stomach when I realized it wasn’t. I was being forced to marry Nick Caponelli. It didn’t feel quite as debilitating as it had last night, but it still wasn’t sitting well with me.

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