Page 26 of Little Gray Dress

“Whoa. She is a tad intimidating, isn’t she?” Lily says.

“What do you think she meant by that?”

“That Jack is still in love with you. Which is what we all thought anyway.”

“I don’t mean that, I mean when she said ‘the exact truth’. I don’t think she believes Hannah and Jack’s internship story. She knows something, though.” I let myself sink into the feathered pillow behind me.

“What she knows is that you and Jack have some unfinished feelings for one another. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see it.” Lily sits down where Amelia was a few moments ago. “I think it’s time for you to make a decision about this. Either you’re over Jack and you stop doing all of this…” she motions at my current drunken state, “or you tell him how you feel and go from there.”

“I don’t know how I feel, though.” I close my eyes. Maybe if the room stops circling me I’ll be able to figure out how I feel. “I want to be over him.”

“Good. After the party then, we’ll stop by and see your new friend. Nothing helps you move on better than a rebound guy. What was his name?”

“Liam,” I say, wondering if a rebound guy is really the right move to prove I’m over Jack.

The party lasts a couple more hours. Thankfully I’m able to avoid any more episodes and I am somehow able to steer clear of Greta and any family members of Jack’s who ask too many questions about my supposed internship and failed almost-wedding.

Hannah gets everything she could possibly need as an almost-married woman, and for the last hour I’ve watched Evan and Josh load it all up into two trucks as I’ve sat on the step of the front porch.

“Listen,” I say to Lily who’s helping Josh tie down the last of the boxes in the truck. “I think I should go make a fool of myself to this guy on my own.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. Because it’s weird, and I’ve already looked like a ditz in front of him once. Not to mention that it’s probably a totally bad idea that he’ll laugh at. And let’s face it, this week alone I’ve had enough humiliation to last me a lifetime.”

She sighs heavy and glances at Josh. “Fine, I’ll drop you off there. But promise me you’ll come home immediately after, and that you won’t do anything completely stupid.”

“What stupid thing could I do?” I ask.

“Vomit in the elaborate landscaped waterfall in the middle of a party, maybe?” Josh laughs at me.

“Ask a random man to be your date to my wedding to prove you’re over Jack?” Evan adds to Josh’s suggestion.

“You guys aren’t funny.” I would add to my defense, but come on, I’ve got none.

“We should start a list of Emi’s not-intentional screw-ups this week,” Evan says, avoiding direct eye contact. Clearly, he’s not impressed with my behavior.

“I prefer that we don’t,” I say, knowing full well that writing it down isn’t necessary. They’ll be telling this story from memory for years to come.

When I walk into the bar it’s as dark as it was the other day, but this time I notice it’s because there are no windows except the porthole in the door. It truly is a dive bar, but I imagine having no windows makes it easier to hide from the problems you’re trying to drown.

“She’s back!” Bald Bartender yells, and I see Liam pop out of a doorway behind the bar.

“She certainly is. What brings you back? More troubles with the ex?” He winks at me and walks around the counter to where I’m standing.

“Yes, and no. Actually…” I fidget with my bracelets and bite my lip so hard I can taste the blood trickle into my mouth. “I… um…” I try to stop the bleeding in my lip without him noticing. “I wanted to ask a favor of you.”

“A favor? We’re already at that point in our relationship?” He laughs and motions to the table near the back of the bar.

I’m nervous, like the-nausea-is-starting-to-come-back nervous. I take a couple of deep breaths, hopefully unnoticeable, and sit at the table. Liam flips a chair around and straddles it leaning against the back. “What kind of favor are we talking here? Do you need another loan? Or maybe a hit man?”

“No, no, none of that, yet.”

His smile brings the dimples through his stubbled face.

“It’s actually kind of pathetic. I just… uh…” I take another breath and stare at the gold candle holder in front of me. The candle in it is dusty and melted down to the metal wick bottom. Come on, Em, just say it already, it’s not like it’s going to get any less weird. “I was wondering if you would come to the wedding with me as my date?”

There, my whole pathetic self, laid out on the table to a man I only just met yesterday.

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