Page 60 of Little Gray Dress

“Don’t be…” He stands and starts to pace the room.

“I’m not really sorry, you know. There was even a moment yesterday where I considered emailing Morgan and asking if he still had that video of the night we all first met Greta.” I bite my own lip, almost worried about what he might think about that. I haven’t completely decided if I will or won’t go for revenge against Greta. She totally deserves it.

Jack raises an eyebrow and forces away the grin creeping up on his face. “I uh… I wish you’d let me explain this when it first happened.” He stops pacing, hand in his hair and looks at me. “I know I didn’t know all the details of what Greta did that day, but I knew I never cheated, Ems. Why…” He sighs heavily. “Why would you ever think I’d do that to you?”

“You think I wanted to think that? It’s what I saw.”

“I hated you for the last year.”

“You hated me? For what?” I ask in a weird high-pitched voice.

Jack rarely gets angry, and even when he used to get semi-angry it was hard to tell. But I’ve seen it enough in the last twenty-four hours to know that he’s at least a little mad right now. His eyes are narrowed, his lips pursed, he has a hand in his pocket, and the constant pacing back and forth in front of my bed says this is the argument we should have had two years ago.

“For what?” He repeats my question in a sharp voice before sitting on the edge of the bed near me. “For you being so damn stubborn that you wouldn’t listen no matter what I said. For you even thinking that me cheating on you was a possibility. For moving away. Mostly, though, I hated you for hating me.”

“I didn’t hate you.” I glance down at the bed, wondering if he knows I’m lying. “I don’t hate you now. You… You broke me, Jack. I can’t seem to move on, I can’t go back, and I can’t get what I saw out of my head. I don’t trust anyone. Especially after yesterday’s revelations.”

“My mom suspected something, Em, and she didn’t even tell me. She let me stay engaged to this woman. And she let you think that I cheated.”

“I’m not sure that’s how it went…” I say, but deep down I know how secretive and vindictive Amelia can be. Not normally to me or her children, but maybe she did know the truth all along.

“Then how?!” He almost yells it before realizing Lily and Josh are sleeping next door. “Then why did no one tell us?”

“I don’t know.”

He’s off the bed again pacing, fists clenched. I’m almost afraid of what he might do, but I remind myself: this is Jack. He’d never hurt a fly.

“You and the bartender, is it romantic?” He stops in his tracks directly in front of me, anger flashing through his face.

“Romantic?”

“Yeah....” He stares into my eyes.

“No.”

“Why’d you bring him?”

“Because I’m single in Couple Land and even my ex had moved on. With my arch-enemy. I mean, come on, how pathetic was I, to still be clinging on to someone who tore out my heart, and then when I finally see him again I discover that he doesn’t even want me anymore?”

The moment the words come out of my mouth, Jack’s face drops from anger to sadness. He walks to my side of the bed and sits down.

“That’s the furthest thing from the truth.” He lays his hand on mine hesitantly.

“Then what is?” I’m a little afraid of this answer, but I feel like he owes it to me.

“I wasn’t really sure for the last year. But I’ve never moved on from you. Not really.” His smile is forced, and the grip he has on my hand is intense.

“I need to ask you something.”

“Anything.” He looks at me nervously.

“How did you end up engaged to Greta? She’s just…” I search for a word but none can describe her in the way I want. “Awful.” That sounds a bit better than calling her a raging basket case of a bitch.

“After what happened with us, Ems, I was so depressed, distraught, and I guess I figured Greta was really all I deserved. She was a distraction, and she was there for me even if it did feel at times like she snuck her way in. And she appeared to love me. I never would have imagined she was the way she was. If I’d ever even had the suspicion that she felt towards you how she did, I’d have ended it immediately.”

I nod my head, unsure of what to say next.

“I’m gonna be honest with you.”