Page 62 of Little Gray Dress

“No… That was just…” What was it? “Old feelings. It was just unfinished business.”

“Unfinished screwing?” She laughs and rolls her eyes. “You’re crazy, you just made this whole thing worse.”

“How? He’s as guilty as I am. It’s not like when we were finished I let him slip the engagement ring back on my finger. We have an understanding. The whole sleeping together thing was just instinct. He understands I need time to think about things.”

“Do you want to get back with Jack?”

“I don’t know. Maybe…?”

It feels good to say it aloud. Now that I know the truth about what happened that day, it’s easier for me to imagine myself with Jack again. It’s a lot easier to not hate him too. When I glance up out of my own thoughts I am alarmed by the giant, almost creepy smile on Lily’s face.

“Seriously, you’re considering this?” she asks.

“Who wouldn’t? Jack and I have history, we were nearly married. I owe it to myself to at least consider it.”

“What about Liam?”

“We just met. And like I’ve told you a thousand times before, it was like a business transaction, that’s all. Plus, who knows what might come of all this?”

“I know someone who would know.” Lily is nodding her head like a loon. “Aunt Maggie.”

“No, we’re not going to visit Maggie and her crystal ball. It’s weird.”

“So what? She’s always right. Remember at the engagement party, when she predicted that you and Jack would overcome a trial? Maybe this is it.”

“You called me crazy earlier, but it looks like you were projecting.”

“Come on… We used to love visiting Maggie for insights into our futures when we were in high school. One more reading won’t kill us. Maybe it will help with your decision.” I feel myself tapping my nails on the table and biting my lip nervously. “Fine, but you have to promise you won’t let this get out of hand.”

“Cross my heart and hope to die.” She crosses her heart as she says it through a giggle of excitement.

The drive across town takes a lot less time than I expected, and when we pull up to Aunt Maggie’s old run-down Sears kit craftsman home, she’s in the front yard clipping flowers.

“Oh!” she squeals as we get to the gate. “Emi! You came to visit, you darling girl you, and you brought Lily!” She motions us through the gate and up the porch stairs. “I haven’t seen you girls together on my porch in years.”

“Aunt Maggie,” Lily says, “we need some advice.”

“We?” I ask her, unaware that this would be a double reading.

“Of course, we,” Maggie says, patting both of Lily’s shoulders. “I have lots of advice as you girls well know. Come on in and I’ll get us some coffee, cookies, and advice.”

We follow Maggie into her cluttered living room that hasn’t changed since I was twelve years old. She has an entire wall full of books of every age and color of binding. Old toys from her childhood line the shelves in front of the books. Pictures in color and black-and-white adorn the walls from floor to ceiling. One shelf, in particular, holds pictures of her with her childhood friend Raluca and my mother. The crystal ball she treasures is in the center, glimmering in the sunlight.

“I have your favorites, srdieckas made with raspberry jam. You still love those, right?”

I glance down at the heart-shaped cookies with their gooey heart centers, and for a moment I’m twelve years old again. I always felt like a trip to Aunt Maggie’s was a trip to another world.

“I do.” I reach down for one, hoping they are as good as I remember.

“Aunt Maggie, Emi is wondering what you see for her and Jack in the future?”

“Listen, sweet girl. First, you have a question for yourself, and the answer is yes.”

“Yes?” Lily’s face turns a ghostly white and her eyes are as round as saucers.

“Yes.” Maggie smiles and pats Lily’s hands. “But onto my Emi.”

I feel myself holding my breath as I watch her wander in front of her shelves. She often would wander her house as she gave us readings in high-school. She told me it helps her see more clearly when she admires her past through her things.

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