Page 9 of Little Gray Dress

“There are six bridesmaids, two flower girls, and two ring bearers.”

“Why the twelve dress bags then?” I can’t help but wonder.

“Did I not tell you?” She pulls a bag out and hangs it on a hook at the end of the rack. “I designed two wedding dresses; a ceremony dress and a reception dress.”

“Two? Wow. That’s uh—” What do you say to the girl who probably spent twenty thousand dollars on material for these dresses? You want to say that you hope they never run into financial hard times and drop down to middle income. But you don’t dare say anything.

“It’s amazing. Here look, this one is my ceremony dress.” Hannah slowly unzips the first bag which is probably the biggest dress bag I’ve ever seen. Inside is a dress with so much tulle and sparkles it’s hard to see anything else. “I know you can’t tell in the bag but it’s so beautiful. The bodice stops at my waist and it has a full-out ball-gown skirt but it’s in layers draped offset in a hankerchief cut. Look at this lace!” She pulls out a layer of the skirt with an intricate lace detail along the hem. “I designed this lace.” I can tell she’s proud of it too, as she should be; it’s gorgeous. “There is also a layer of tulle in the middle of the skirt that is hot pink so there is a hint of pink showing through in the full skirt. The beading on the bodice took me two months to complete. Can you imagine? I thought my fingers were going to fall off.” She laughs as she gently touches the intricate beading sparkling in the light.

Hannah truly has always reminded me of Barbie, with her perfect blonde hair, her always-perfect makeup, and her obsession with all things pink, ever since the day I met her.

“It sparkles, that’s for sure. I’m sure you’ll look beautiful in it.” I’m picturing this pink tinted ball gown resembling the Barbie birthday cake I had when I turned eight years old.

She puts the ball gown back onto the crowded dress rack and pulls out a smaller bag next to it. “This one is where I got the inspiration for you girls’ bridesmaids’ dresses.” The feathers spill out before I can notice anything else: pastel pink, gray and white feathers from just above her knees all the way to the bottom. If there was a giant feathered headpiece with it I’d think she was performing on Broadway or with the Rockettes. “Isn’t it gorgeous?”

“It’s feathery. Is this one for the reception?” Boy is it ever feathery, like a Las Vegas showgirl. I can’t even picture what a row of bridesmaids will look like, all of us being feathered from the knees down. I would think she would want something unique, not more feathers for her reception. But then again, Hannah has always been full of unexpected decisions.

“Yes. It reminds me of a vintage party dress, so it’s just so fitting, don’t you think?”

“I do.” I hate it, but I do think it’s fitting. Now I know what we’ll look like: insane. We will be one of those bridal parties that are pictured on-line, in a What Not To Do To Your Bridesmaids article that lives on the internet for years to come.

Lily walks in holding a glass of wine and stops dead in her tracks two feet inside the door.

“Holy shit, what is this? You opened a bridal store in your house?” There is the Lily I know and love.

“No!” Hannah yells at her and points towards the hallway. “No wine in here, it would just ruin everything if it spilled.”

I watch Lily slowly back out of the room, eyes big and eyebrows raised. That was quick, her completely offending Hannah only an hour into our trip. I thought it would take her at least till later tonight. “I’m sure you’re losing your buzz, Ems.” She rolls her eyes at me “You should come have a glass.” She nods towards the stairs trying to convince me to come downstairs with her for a glass of wine. Like it would take much to persuade me.

“Sure.” I look over at Hannah who is nodding her head at me.

I follow the two of them down the grand staircase and into their open-plan living room and kitchen. One full wall is gray stone with a huge fireplace in the center. All the furniture is stark white, the walls are white, the curtains are white, the decorations are variations of white. The room merges into a wall of the kitchen with an island almost the full length of the room. Again everything is white, except the stainless-steel appliances.

“My God, how do you keep this clean?” I ask them, glad it’s not mine.

“I have no idea. I have a lady who does it daily.” Hannah pours herself a glass of pink champagne before hopping up onto one of the metal barstools that sit just below her white sparkly quartz island counter.

“What is your life?” I ask my brother who is sitting on the counter holding a beer. “My whole apartment could fit in this room alone.”

“I don’t know why. It’s not like you don’t have money.”

He’s right. When our parents died, they left us enough money that neither of us would’ve had to work for a good ten years even after paying off our student loans and college debt. I do have money, but after looking at this house I don’t know if he will much longer. He and Hannah appear to have very rich tastes. They bought the house right after the last time I saw them both. I’ve seen pictures and I knew it was fancy, but I never ever expected this fancy.

It’s at moments like these, when I’m with my coupled-up happy friends, that I find my mind wandering to what Jack and I might have been like if we’d made it all the way down the aisle. What would the wedding have actually been like? Would we be happy? Would I have ever caught him doing his assistant, or would I have lived forever in blissful ignorance?

Chapter Four

Two and a Half Years Ago

Downtown Portland, Oregon

The Wedding Planning

“How many people are on your guest list?”

Megan, the girl I’ve hired as our wedding planner, is sitting with a huge schedule book in front of her covered in a rainbow of sticky notes. Every time I give her a number or idea she writes it in three places: the pastel pink notepad at her right side, the notes section of the day planner, and then she quickly taps it into her opened laptop.

“Just over three hundred invitations need to be sent out. I doubt that many will come, but my fiancé is from… uh… money…”

---