Page 42 of The Last Dance

‘Yeah.’ He nods, his response not matching the defeated look on his face.

‘Well, I hate to cut this short, but I should go. I’m having dinner with Noah and I don’t want to be late. We’ve just decided to move in together.’ I force an excited smile, glancing to Henry when I say it to see his reaction. His eyes narrow. ‘We have so much planning to do.’

‘Wow! Congrats! You’re having a big week. A promotionandmoving in together. I’m so excited for you!’ Karmen follows me to the door.

‘Thank you, I’m pretty excited myself,’ I lie, turning the knob, opening the door. I’m a nervous wreck is what I am. But Henry doesn’t need to know that. If he’s moved on, I’ve moved on. ‘I guess I’ll see you guys at the concert?’

‘I can’t wait!’ Karmen says, waving as I back down the hall refusing to look directly at Henry who is still standing not far behind her in plain sight.

That probably could have gone worse. I race down the stairs and adopt Claire’s ‘gotta pee’ walk to make it home and far away from Henry as quickly as possible.

‘Ambri!’ I stop in my tracks as he yells my name when I’m only a block away from their building. A few other people walking look behind them as well. Damn it. Exactly what I didn’t want to happen.

I turn and see him jogging up the sidewalk. ‘What do you want?’ I say it with as much irritation as I can muster.

He slows a few feet from me, stopping altogether and throwing his arms out. ‘Come on, let’s do this. Let me have it.’Thisis a Henry I know. Any time I was mad, about anything, and didn’t want to talk, this is what he’d do. Have me take it out on him to get it all out. It used to work. Even though I was never usually mad about anything he did.

‘What?’ I ask even though I heard him just fine.

‘Yell at me. Tell me you hate me.For fuck’s sake, Ambri, tell me you never want to see me again after what I did!Anything.I can’t take it anymore.’

I take a few steps towards him, avoiding the glances of the strangers now overly interested in our conversation. Widening my eyes, embarrassed he wants to do this in front of everyone on the busy sidewalk.

‘Youcan’t take it anymore?’ I yell, apparently notthatembarrassed of causing a scene after all. ‘After what,two days? How about you try taking it fortwo fucking years!’

I stop about a foot in front of him, taking a few breaths to work up the courage to tell him what I want. ‘And Idohate you!’ I yell it right to his face. Not even looking away from his gaze.

Our eyes are locked. He nods as he presses his lips together. ‘You really think I just walked away and never thought about you again?’

I shrug, the anger inside me building. ‘It’s not like you ran off to think about things and came back a few weeks later. You left the state fortwo years! Now you finally find the stones to face me, and you brought your new girlfriend! Yournewlife. So yeah, that’s exactly what I think!’

I fold my arms across my chest as I try to get my breathing under control. Even my hands are shaking. I hate fighting with anyone, but fighting with Henry is proving to be both terrifying and liberating.

‘You’re mad about Karmen?’ He scrunches his face, confused by what I said.

‘No.I’m notmadabout her. Seeing you two together doesn’t feel great, though. I—’ I bite my lip hard, hoping to keep away the emotions trying to sneak up on me. ‘Why is she good enough and I wasn’t?’

He shakes his head, his hand moving to the back of his neck. ‘You werealwaysgood enough.’

‘Pfftt…’ I roll my eyes. ‘Then why was I second best?Justthe best friend… until you suddenly wanted more.’

‘You’ve never been second in my life, Ambri. You know that.’ His voice is raised but he’s not exactly yelling at me.

How is he staying so calm right now? I feel like I’m getting ready to have a nervous breakdown. I shake my head, looking around at the faces walking past us. I look back at him, forcing myself to match his cool demeanor.

‘Maybe I knew that before, but when it mattered, second isexactlywhat I was. A consolation prize that you hoped would pull you out of yet another pit of depression.’

He stands a few feet from me, silent. His hands now in the pockets of his jeans but his eyes on me.

‘It was mybirthday, Henry.’ I snap at him, the tears burning my eyes as they spill over.

I think about this fact a lot. He didn’t even acknowledge my birthday that day. He knew it would be a terrible day for me and yet he chose to do the most selfish thing he could on that exact day.

‘All you thought of wasyouand then you left on my birthdayafteryou slept with me. Do you know what that did to me? Do you haveanyidea how that changed my life?’

He frowns, slowly shaking his head, his eyes never leaving my face.

I take a step towards him, now standing close enough that I can smell his cologne again. ‘You destroyed me.’ My voice shakes hard as I say it. ‘I didn’t trustanyonebecause theoneperson who I thought would always have my back, who I trusted the most in life, and had since I was fourteen, left me with a heartbreak that I’d never experienced. I didn’t even know that anything besides death could hurt that bad.’

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