Page 59 of The Last Dance

15

Old Habits Die Hard

Ambri

I’ve been sitting at the Starbucks I used to work in for an hour. I sit here every morning before I go to work. Old habits die hard and all that. I couldn’t quit coming because Henry wasn’t sitting across the table from me. That’s what we used to do, meet up at Starbucks in the morning before heading to work. A reminder that my entire day wouldn’t suck because he was always here. He was always the best part of my day. Now I’m not sure what he is. All I know is he’s somehow worked his way into my head again.

I figured I could write up my stories from The Bite a couple days ago while I was here. Sometimes it’s nice to not have to write sitting at my desk under florescent lights with Trevor in my direct line of sight.

I also figured a familiar place would be the perfect place to overthink everything that happened last night. Henry ran from Karmen, just as he did from me. I wanted to be happy about that but all it means is that he’s still not dealing with his issues. Noah’s suspicious that Henry means more to me than I’ve told him. I don’t know if he’s wrong anymore. Karmen might be cheating on Henry. I’m not really sure what exactly is going on between her and Matthew, but if Henry’s not doing well that news won’t make things better for him and I don’t want to see him hurt. He might sink even further when he finds out and, even though I’ve been pretending like I don’t care, the thought of him having another one of those bad days scares me. I want him to finally pull out of all this.

The door dings with another customer as I write. The chatter of a packed room and the whir of the espresso machine is somehow comforting.

‘Hey…’

I glance up from my laptop at the sound of his voice, my heart lodging in my throat. I swallow it away, but it doesn’t go easily.

‘Um – hi?’ I close my laptop as he sits down. ‘What are you doing here?’

‘I saw you as I passed by.’ He nods towards the sidewalk out front before shaking his head with a shy smile. ‘Truthfully, this shop is kind of out of my way. I came by hoping to see you in here.’

‘Oh.’ I breathe it out nervously.

‘Are you still drinking a raspberry mocha with an extra shot? I’d love to get you another?’

Is it pathetic that I’ve been drinking the exact same coffee for a decade? I look at the empty cup sitting on the table. Do I want to let this happen? Do I want to let him buy me a coffee like he used to? I’m sure it’s not a good idea.

‘Sure.’ The word opposite of what I’m thinking rolling off my tongue. Somehow, I knew I couldn’t say no even though I probably should have. I kind of want to talk to him. About what exactly I’m not sure yet.

He smiles. ‘I’ll be right back.’

My heart is racing in my chest. I take a few deep breaths before he gets back to the table. I don’t know how I feel about this. I don’t know how I feel about him. I don’t know how I’m ever gonna tell him what happened last night.

‘One raspberry mocha…’ He hands me a cup and the first thing I see is the name written across the front. YouArePerfect. I swoon a little bit more than I want to.

‘Thanks.’ I bite my lip as soon as the word comes out of my mouth. Why’s he doing this?

‘My pleasure.’ He sits across from me, setting his coffee on the other side of my laptop. ‘You still come here every day?’

I smile shyly, almost guiltily. ‘It helps me feel like my whole world wasn’t turned upside down sometimes.’

He nods.

I look up from the name on the coffee cup that I now can’t quit staring at. ‘Why did you hope to find me here?’

‘I miss you. I missed this.’

‘You didn’t have to leave, you know.’

He nods. ‘I made a mistake, Ambri. I was a complete fucking idiot.’

I nod. ‘I can’t argue that.’

He hesitantly laughs. ‘I can admit when I’m wrong.’

‘You’re two years late is all.’ I roll my eyes exaggeratedly with a half-grin that my heart refuses to hold back. I can’t help but be glad he’s sitting across the table from me right now. I want to believe everything he’s been saying to me the last few days, but my head is telling me to be hesitant. My heart on the other hand… yeah, it’s being a little too silent.

‘How come you only told Karmen I was Rory’s little sister?’ I’ve been wondering since he said it the other day.

---