Page 108 of He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

I turn towards him. ‘AmI going too fast? God, Riv, I’m gonna ruin this. I don’t want to ruin this. I like him.’

River rests a hand on my shoulder. ‘He loves you. Relax.’

‘Youreallythink he does?’

‘He’s always loved you, Hols.Idon’t get it, but I guess the heart wants what it wants and all that shit. What kind of spell did you cast?’

‘Ha-ha.’

‘I think maybe you should figure out how you feel about him and tell him before it goes too far. He’s already all the way in this, so don’t make him have to get over you twice.’

‘Why didn’t you ever tell me he had feelings for me?’

‘It’s not my place. That was his thing. I figured if he was serious, he’d tell you. It was probably just a crush he’d grow out of if he couldn’t.’

‘And you didn’t think him going to therapy and changing the way he did after I left indicated him being pretty seriously damn heartbroken?’

River shrugs, sipping his beer. ‘Dax’s feelings aren’t really my thing. We’re guys. He was alive; I figured he was good, and you claimed to be happy. What should I have done?’

‘Saved me from wasting eight years of my life with the wrong guy.’

‘Tried it. You’re stubborn as fuck.’

I tilt my head, unable to disagree since I know this.

‘For what it’s worth, I trust Dax with my life. I know him better than he knows himself at times. He’s serious about you, Hols. Personally, I think you’d be an idiot to let him go. He’d never hurt you. In any way. That I know.’

A grin grows on my face. When did River get so grown up? He was mad Dax and I went there, and now he’s suggesting I never let him go. I’d trust River withmylife, so I know he’d only say this if he meant it.

‘Nevertell him I told you this, but you’re the only girl he’s ever loved. Every woman he’s been with has been physical and casual. I don’t think he’s ever had a real relationship.’

‘Really?’ He’s never told another woman he loved them? Only me?

‘Oh, god,’ he groans. ‘Don’t tell me I’m somehow helping him woo you now?’

‘It’s sweet, Riv. I had no idea.’

‘Cause your head is always up your ass or in the storm clouds hunting for the next lightning strike. Here’s a word of advice, open your eyes in this relationship. I trust Dax about a thousand percent more than Professor Jizzstain.’

Ew.

‘But please, pay attention this time around. Don’t pretend things are A-OK if they’re not. Talk to him. Dax enjoys using his words like a grown-up. Fight shit out. Tell him when something’s wrong.’ He sighs, glancing at me with a serious look on his face.

‘I don’t want to beat the hell out of my best friend, Hols. I’d choose you over Dax in a heartbeat. That’s my job as your brother. But can you try your damndest to not let it ever come to that?’ he asks. ‘For my sake?’

This is the nicest conversation River and I have had in a long time.

‘You’re a good brother, River. I promise I won’t come between you two. Where would I be without you?’

‘Probably still at the airport,’ he says through a laugh. ‘Talk over. Otherwise, I may haveactualfeelings in public, and nobody wants that.’

I laugh, looking at the people mingling around us. The secret of who my mom is is officially out there and she’s in her element with the production crew. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s pitching ideas at them right now. Rebecca, Dax’s mom, who my own mother calls Bex, is at Mom’s side, chattering away with whoever is with them. They’ve been best of friends since we were little kids. I wonder how they’ll react to Dax and me together?

My gaze stops at Mercy, now standing in front of Dax, the two of them having what seems to be a serious conversation. I walk their way.

‘Hey!’ Mercy says when she spots me, suddenly halting their convo. ‘I have a great idea. I just mentioned it to Dax, andhedisagrees.’ She rolls her eyes. ‘But what the hell does he know?’

‘What is it?’

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