Page 110 of He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

She softens. ‘Really?’

‘Really, Merc.Love. It’s so…big. And scary, considering what I’m just getting out of. I haven’t even toldhimyet.’

‘You haven’t told him? What in the hell are you telling me first for? Go. Tell him. It’s what he’s wanted to hear since he was a kid.’

‘You think I should tell himnow? In the middle of all this?’ I throw an arm out, reminding her where we are.

‘I think you should tell him now, mid-stream.’

‘What?’ I burst out a laugh.

‘Hols, my father is in prison. My mom disappeared when I was a baby. Besides Edie, there’s never been a lot of love flowing in my direction through life. So, yeah. Take it from the girl who’s had very few people say it to her and who’s said it to even fewer.Tell him.Right now. Barge into that men’s room and announce it to every guy there.’

I laugh nervously. I don’t know. In themen’sroom? Either he’ll think it’s cute, or he’ll think I’m as weird as they come.

‘OK.’ I hand her my beer. ‘I’m gonna walk in there and say it before I lose my nerve.’

‘Good,’ Mercy says, now sipping my beer. ‘Go.’

It takes me a moment to convince myself to take a step, but I’m finally walking across the roof towards the bathrooms. Swarms of butterflies race through my chest, making it hard to breathe. I’m about to tell Dax– annoying, dorkyneighbor kid Dax– I love him. I didn’t expect this.

How is my life about to change? I can’t even picture it. I turn the corner, stopping in my tracks. What the—? No, no. My heart feels as though it’s caving in on itself. For a split second, I panic in a way that feels like sudden death but somehow manage to turn before they notice me and run across the roof.

I thought he was different. Now he’s proving Mercy’s warnings right by kissing Celeste behind my back? Is this just my life now? Choosing guys who don’t choose me in return?

29

DAX

Moments Ago…

‘You’re so vague in our conversations. I’m constantly wondering, do you like me? Don’t you? But I get it. You’re a man of few words. I don’t mind doing the talking. I want to know you, Dax. Intimately. What do you say to that?’

Celeste has me cornered by the bathrooms.

‘I say no thanks.’ I try to walk around her, but she throws herself at me, pressing against me and planting her lips on mine.

What the hell? I grab her by the shoulders, gently moving her away from me. Movement catches my eye, and my heart drops as I see Hollyn’s back as she runs away. Fucking hell; she didn’t just walk up on that, did she?

‘You ever heard of asking permission?’ I ask Celeste. ‘I’m with Hollyn.’

‘Yeah, I know, as childhood friends,’ she says.

‘No, Celeste. I love her. My answer to you will always be no because of that. Get it already.’

I take off running in Hollyn’s direction. ‘Hollyn!’

‘What did you do?’ Mercy asks as I pass her.

‘Hols!’

She shoves open the door to the stairwell, sprinting down the flight of stairs, the door slamming on me right as I get to it.

‘Hollyn, stop!’ I yell as I yank open the door. ‘What you saw wasn’t was it looked like,’ I say as she disappears through the next door.

‘Damn it,’ I groan, running down the stairs.

I’m five seconds behind her, just a few steps from plowing through the door to the hallway, as an older woman moseys her ass through.

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