Page 31 of He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

I sit down next to her in the oversized lounger, leaving enough room between us that it doesn’t seem as though I’ve invited her up here to seduce her. The last thing I want is her uncomfortable around me.

‘You can see the stars better from here,’ I say, pointing to the sky.

She looks up, her smile growing. ‘Well, well, if it isn’t astronomer Dax. Never thought I’d see you again.’

‘He still exists. I just usually do this by myself nowadays.’

‘What?’ she asks, surprise in her voice. ‘You mean you’re not sweeping women off their feet by the dozens, impressing them with your extensive knowledge of flowersandconstellations?’

‘Nope. I only ever did this with you.’ I stare up at the sky, the memories I haven’t allowed myself to think of now playing through my head like a movie.

‘You’re still into it, though, aren’t you?’

I nod. Now probably more than ever. ‘It’s peaceful.’

‘Stars, flowers, and magical rooftop gardens. I don’t think I’d have ever guessed this is who you’d become. You’re way cooler than I thought you were.’

I chuckle. ‘Only took you decades to see it.’

She rolls her eyes, shaking her head as she looks back up at the sky. ‘Which Greek god are we meeting tonight?’

‘It’s not an ideal time to see it but right there’ – I point at a constellation I’m sure she doesn’t see – ‘is Cepheus, the King of Aethiopia. To his right is his queen, Cassiopeia. She was a woman obsessed with her own beauty. We’re talking disturbing levels of vanity here. The two of them had a daughter, Andromeda. This story’s about her.’

Hollyn wraps her arms around herself as if she’s cold.

‘Here.’ I pull off my jacket, handing it to her.

‘What?No, I couldn’t,’ she says, refusing it.

‘Yes, you can,’ I insist, laying it over her like a blanket. ‘I dragged you up here in the middle of the night; please, use it.’

‘What about you?’

‘I’m fine,’ I say, a smile on my face to reassure her.

In reality, it’s so cold my balls have tucked in for the night. But that’s the furthest thing from my mind right now. Somehow sitting this close to her is sending sparks through my insides.

When she glances back up at the sky, I continue my story. ‘Cassiopeia’s vanity didn’t stop with her. She deemed Andromeda more beautiful than all the Nereids. This, of course, pissed off Poseidon, Greek god of the sea, because his wife, Amphitrite, was the eldest of the Nereids.’

‘Pissing off a Greek god seems risky.’

‘That it was.’

God, this is as nerdy as I get. No one else caneverwitness this. The only reason she is, is because we used to do this as teens.

Hollyn’s brain moves at lightning speed, especially at night, which means more often than not, she couldn’t sleep. I’d hear her open her bedroom window from River’s room when I’d sleep over, and I’d sneak out onto the roof with her and tell her the stories of the constellations. Then she’d talk about whatever was bothering her, and word by word, I’d fall more and more in love with the girl.

To her, those nights were probably completely innocent. But I’ve relived all of them a million times, looking for moments I missed where I should have told her how I felt. You can’t change the past yet I can’t help but wonder how different our lives might be had I worked up the courage to tell her before she left for Seattle. Would she be sitting here, broken-hearted over a guy who probably never really loved her anyway?

Story, Dax. You’re telling the woman a story. Don’t get lost in the past.

‘No one could be more beautiful than his wife. So, Poseidon vowed revenge for Cassiopeia’s declaration offending his wife and ordered Cetus, a minion sea monster, to attack the city the king and queen ruled. He informed Cepheus the attack would stop only when Andromeda had been sacrificed.’

I glance over at her. She seems completely lost in the story and stars above us.

‘Cepheus had had it with Cassiopeia’s nonsense. He also answered to Poseidon, so like any good king would, he agreed to sacrifice his daughter to save his city and chained Andromeda to a rock so she couldn’t flee her fate.’

‘Jesus, Daddy Cepheus. That’s a little extreme.’

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