Page 38 of He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

‘Had you not been there tonight—’

‘Your dad would have taken care of it. Are you sure you’re alright?’

She nods, tears sliding down her face. ‘I’m just—’ She shakes her head, as she wanders to River’s room. ‘I’m tired.’

I watch her walk into River’s room, partially closing the door behind her, as I sit on the couch, staring at the ceiling for a moment. I can’t believe that just happened. What a fucking psycho. What the hell was he talking about, money and investigations? The guy had gone off the rails. Even Hollyn seemed like she didn’t recognize him.

River’s door opens suddenly. Hollyn’s now wearing pajamas as she climbs into the bed. She pulls the covers to her chin, but doesn’t turn off the lamp, just stares at the ceiling.

‘What are you doing?’

‘I uh—’ She sits up, the blankets dropping off her, revealing the tiny tank top she’s now wearing. ‘It’s dumb.’

I walk over to her room, leaning against the door frame. ‘I’m sure it’s not dumb.’

She lifts her shoulders. ‘I’m scared.’ She bites her lips together. ‘I keep wondering what he’d have done if I’d gotten into that car with him?’ She wipes away tears before they can fall. ‘What if I’d been alone?’

‘You weren’t,’ I remind her.

‘What if when they let him out, he comes over here to finish what he’s started?’

‘What would make you feel safe right now?’ I ask, honestly not knowing how else to answer.

She glances around the room, her gaze finally settling on me. ‘Could you uh…’ She bites her bottom lip. ‘Please don’t think I’m suggesting this romantically or in any kind of sexual way, but could you maybe… sleep in here?’

‘Inhere?’ I repeat her words, looking around the room filled with half-unpacked bags. Hardly any floor space for my giant frame to even fit. ‘Like on the floor?’

‘Or on the bed? Just for one night. I’m sure I’ll feel better when I know Tristan’s back in Seattle.’

‘Huh,’ I grunt, pulling out my phone and glancing at the time. Two-thirty in the morning. What couldpossiblygo wrong with me in her bed after two in the morning? Other thaneverything.

‘Me sleeping in your bed will make you feel safer?’

She nods. ‘Too much to ask?’

‘No,’ I say. ‘I can, just uh – give me five minutes to turn things off and change.’

I flip off the lamp in the living room on the way to my room. This is fine.Everythingis fine. I’m just hopping into bed with the woman I’ve dreamed of for fifteen years. I’m sure nothing will happen.

I drag a hand down my face, rubbing the side of my neck as I stand in the middle of my room, figuring out what to wear to this little sleepover. Snowboarding gear would work. No accidents are happening through that. She might think I’m weird, though.

God damn it, River. He invited her here, and now, almost two weeks later, I’ve faced every old feeling I’ve ever had, almost been arrested, and just laid her ex across her parents’ front lawn. Now I’m faced with the ultimate challenge.

I throw on some sweats and a T-shirt, grab my pillow and a blanket, and head back to her room. She’s still got the lamp on as she watches me toss my pillow onto River’s bed and lie down next to her.

She flips off the lamp, and we both lie in the dark, silently listening to one another breathe. We’ve been lying there five minutes when she becomes restless.

‘You, OK?’

‘Can I just uh—’

She moves closer, pressing herself into my side, her head on my shoulder and her hand on my chest. For a moment, I lie awkwardly still, hardly even breathing as she settles in. Thank god it’s dark in here because I probably look like I’ve just witnessed a car accident. Never in a million years did I expect her to touch me in this way. Hesitantly, I rest my hand on her back, and she relaxes into me.

Breathe, Dax. She’s just scared, and you’re the only one here. This is completely innocent.

‘Thank you,’ she says after a few minutes of silence. ‘You saved me tonight, Dax. If your offer still stands, I want to help you with the show.’

‘We don’t need to talk about it now.’

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