Page 4 of He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

‘I never should have invited you to that.’

The Matthews are my mom’s neighbors. One half of the two of them, Penny, was a late eighties, early nineties, pop star. We’re talking international tours, photos inBopmagazine, and MTV videos. There are so many things a guy of my age should know nothing about (likeBopmagazine) that I’d consider myself an expert in because of the Matthews.

Growing up I spent a lot of time there; honestly, I still do because their son River has been my best friend since I was four.

‘By the way,’ Brynn says a few minutes later as she shoves flower petals into the bag now securely strapped around my waist. ‘The second thing I needed to tell you is that a woman is here fromHere Comes the Bridemagazine.’

‘You the town herald now?’

‘Not usually, but she’s here to see you.’

‘Why would she be here to see me?’

‘Here, wear this.’ She hands me Jake’s black suit jacket.

‘Doesn’t really go with jeans, does it?’

She laughs under her breath, shaking her head as though I’m the biggest dummy here. ‘It’s going to make those jeans so hot you won’t be able to touch ’em. Your ridiculous shirt choice is kind of perfect too. It’s almost like you knew what was coming.’

I glance down, reading the text upside down.I’m sexy, and I grow it. Shit. I forgot I was wearing this one.

‘At least it’s got flowers on it.’

Flower pun T-shirts are kind of my thing. Everyone I know has them made for me or buys them whenever they come across them.

‘Anyway,’ Brynn says. ‘She’s here because she’s looking for a contestant for an upcoming YouTube show calledBattle of the Blossoms.’

‘What’s that?’

‘It’s a floral competition. Winner gets a full spread in the magazine and… fifty thousand dollars.’

‘Fiftygrand? Where do I sign up?’ I ask, jokingly.

She blows out a noticeable sigh of relief. ‘I’m glad you said that because I kind of already did.’

‘Brynn,’ I say firmly as if I have any control over her. ‘We’ve talked about this. You’re banned from setting me up for things. Dates, events,anything, unless you talk to me first.’

‘I know, but this was too good to pass up, so I figured asking for forgiveness would be easier than permission. Your performance here might be what puts you in the running. Don’t hate me for it, either. We’re family. You can’t hate family.’

‘Uh, you can totally hate family,’ I say, more than irritated. ‘I’m doing it right now.’

‘Lucky for me, we don’t have time to discuss it.’ She turns her attention to the wedding party, now getting everyone lined up, motioning for the musician to start the music.

Are you kidding me? She’s just going to send me out there with this little info? If I wasn’t actively living this moment, it might be funny. It better be funny when it’s over, or I’ll never listen to another of her suggestions again.

‘I got you, man,’ Jake says in a near whisper as he walks over to me. He adjusts his jacket I’m now wearing. ‘When the beat drops, bust a move. Make me proud.’

‘Why do I feel like you’re about to do me dirty?’

‘Probably cause that’s our thing, sugar.’ He pats the side of my cheek, a goofy grin on his face.

After seven bridesmaids walk the aisle, the original song cuts with a scratch, and I feel in my gut I’m in for something I’m not ready for. A new song starts, and I roll my head dramatically towards Jake, now standing off to the side of the venue. He’s bouncing to the beat, his face lit up like a jack-o’-lantern as he thrusts his hips as if he’s in a nightclub. He didnot.

My shirt screwed me. ‘Sexy and I Know It’ is playing through the speakers. Loudly. Here I thought ‘Stroke Me’ would be embarrassing. He’s as good as dead as soon as this is over, and I hope the look on my face is sending him that warning.

Guests are now chattering with the music change; heads turn my way.

‘Go,’ Brynn hisses. ‘Do it.’

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