Page 5 of He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

There’s no getting out of this now. I blow out a breath and unbutton the jacket as I step forward. Matthews-party-Dax. Summoning Matthews-party-Dax.

‘Dax!’ Brynn is shooting me daggers.

Here goes nothing. I toss a handful of flowers over my head and do some kind of spin. The crowd ahead of me bursts into laughter, Jake whistling like an idiot from the sidelines. I find the beat and groove my tall, dorky ass down the aisle.

Right about now, I’m thankful for the other half of the Matthews. Dr John Matthews, OB/GYN. An ex-professional dancer who has given his son and me quite a few lessons in the art of dance over the years. Today that little detail of my life is serving me well.

Flower petals are thrown, hips are thrust, upper body rolls are performed. My dignity has taken a hit, and I’m not at all proud of what’s going down, but the hoots from the bridal party are oddly inspiring. Once I reach the end of the aisle, every groomsman is now dancing with me in their places, and I toss one more handful of flowers over my head, leaping out of the ceremony space on my way to kill Jake. God help me if I get more requests for this.

2

HOLLYN

Saturday Evening…

‘Hot-cha-cha, lady!’ Mercy says through my screen with a grin.

I’ve got my phone held out in front of me as I walk to the restaurant I’m meeting Tristan at.

‘Are you sure white wouldn’t have been better? Considering the situation and all?’ I glance down at the dress I bought this morning, especially for this occasion.

‘Black was the better choice. You look hot,’ she says with an obnoxious wink.

‘Thank you, BFF.’

‘My pleasure,’ she says. ‘I can’t believe he’s going to propose. You sure you want this? I mean, he’s kind of a wang.’

I laugh nervously, but inside I’m internally screaming. Not like I’m in a horror movie or anything. Well, maybe a little like that. A proposal is a big deal, especially considering I wasn’t expecting it. I kind of thought Tristan wanted to shack up forever instead of making it official, seeing as we’ve been dating for eight years. I’m sure these pangs of anxiety bouncing through my insides like a pinball machine are entirely normal.

‘I see that question has activated your overthink button,’ Mercy says, obviously knowing the many faces of me well. She should. We’ve been best friends for twenty years. ‘Let’s see your surprised face.’

‘You think I need to practice my surprised face?’

‘Did you think you’d walk in there and act like it was any other day? You can’t let him know you found the ring receipt. Where’s the shock in that?’

‘OK…’

I’m not an actress. In fact, I suck at lying altogether. Just ask my parents. Instead of lying, I pretend I have nothing to say. It’s not truly a lie if it’s an absence of information, is it? I don’t even know the proper reaction for this moment because I don’t know how I feel about it. Do I gasp? Cry? Whatisthe correct response to a proposal eight years into a relationship?

I give her a wide-mouthed, wide-grinned gasp.

She scrunches her face. ‘That was a little toonot-so-surprise birthday party. Try again.’

I switch to a more reserved, about to cry, hand over my mouth shocked look.

‘You look terrified, but so would I if that tool asked me to spend forever with him. Maybe it’ll depend on the words that come out of his mouth? I don’t exactly have high hopes for him.’

‘Mercy, stop,’ I say. ‘God, why am I so jittery?’ I ask her, adjusting my dress. ‘Why’s my ass sweating?’

‘You’ve got the ass sweats? Yikes.’ She laughs. ‘I’m sure everyone is nervous when they get asked to put one man on a pedestal for the rest of their lives. I’ll never personally know because:No.Thank.You.’

‘You really think that?’

‘Notthink, Hols.Know. Never, ever in a million fucking years will I get married.’

I laugh to myself. ‘I meant about the nervous part.’

‘Oh! For sure. My friend Annie said it was the most unrestful moment of her life and she helped pick the ring.’

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