Page 60 of He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

‘You shouldn’t.’ I roll my eyes, staring out the tiny window to my left. ‘I’m not that good of a person. You’re so much better.’

‘Hols, you’re worth more than you give yourself credit for. I’ve thought about you often over the years. Maybe you’ve changed; we all do as we grow up. I still like you.’

I look away down at my hands. This feels like a slippery slope. One that could slide out of control like an avalanche.

‘Can you believe that Celeste?’ he asks, changing the subject.

‘That she wants you in her bed? Uh, yes,’ I say through a laugh. ‘Look at you! You’re sexy as hell.’ I freeze, stopping about three words too late, wishing I could take them back the moment they’d left my lips.

I did not just call him sexy, did I? I glance over at him. Crap. Based on the smile now growing on his beautifully bearded face, I’d say yes.Yes, I did.

‘Hollyn Matthews. Did you just say I’m sexy as hell?’

I shake my head wildly. ‘No.’ I pause, searching for the right word combo to turn back time. ‘I can’t even imagine a world where those words would leave my lips.’

He bursts out with a laugh so loud that the passenger on the other side of him looks over at us.

‘I think that yadid.’

And I think he liked it based on his reaction. I raise my hand like I’m in third grade, searching for a flight attendant. When one looks my way, I sigh in relief.

‘Can I get a drink? Preferably something alcoholic and strong? Anything really. Vodka? Mouthwash? Hand sanitizer?’

Dax is still laughing next to me. Finally, he pulls himself together. ‘Trust me when I say you can’t drink words away. They’re out there now.’ He leans into me. ‘I didn’t hate them either.’

My heart seizes in my chest.He didn’t hate them?So, hewasflirting back on the beach. Weareflirting. Awkwardly, in a way I can’t figure out the rules to.

‘Listen,’ he says. ‘Don’t get your panties in too much of a twist when I tell you that your stress relief plan worked, and Sydney accepted my invite. The invite Ionlysent because you insisted,’ he reminds me. ‘In my defense, I had no idea you were hot for me.’

I roll my eyes playfully, but truthfully, I can barely breathe through the buzzing now filling my insides. What is happening between us?

‘I am nothotfor you, Dax Hartley. More like lukewarm leaning towards cold. Have I noticed you’re not as nerdy as you once were? Who wouldn’t? Have I fantasized about you in the room next to mine? Eh – notexactly.’

‘Whatever you say, boss.’ He laughs. ‘I just didn’t want you to be jealous, that’s all.’

‘Pfft…me, jealous ofyou? No. Way. I could get laid if I wanted.’

‘I don’t doubt that you could,’ he says, suddenly straight-faced. ‘But I meant jealous of Sydney.’

‘I am not jealous of Sydney,’ I say hoping he buys it considering it’s a lie. I am a little jealous. Dax seems to be a real catch. I can’t understand why he’s only in a friends-with-benefits situation. How does she not want to tie him down as her boyfriend?

‘We could go out to my delivery van. Wouldn’t want to tempt you with the thin wall between our rooms or anything.’ He winks, my heart doing a tiny dance.

Stop. It. Heart.

‘You have sex with women in your delivery van?’ I scrunch my face as though I’m disgusted by this.

Maybe Mercy was right about him. He’s probably been on his best behavior with me staying in his apartment. Why does him seeing Sydney at all suddenly piss me off?

The plane pulls away from the boarding gate, picking up speed as it preps for lift-off. I shove Dax’s hand from the armrest and hold on for dear life. His hand unexpectedly on mine is the perfect distraction. I glance down, then up at him. My heart races as I allow him to lace his fingers through mine. He smiles shyly, like he’s as nervous as I am. I hold his hand tightly, closing my eyes and trying not to think about what’s happening right now, but the only other things swirling through my head are this plane crashing and him boning Sydney.

As soon as we’re in the air, I blow out the breath I’ve been holding and open my eyes. I side-eye him, meeting his gaze. His face is probably a mirror of my own, confused, but not enough for us to pull our hand from the other’s.

‘I can cancel the Sydney thing if you want.’

‘Why would you do that?’

‘Because it bothers you.’ His voice is gentle and sincere as though he’d really do this for me.

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