Page 65 of He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

I drop my head, rubbing the back of my neck. ‘This is kind of a mess. I tried to tell her yesterday, and it came out all weird, so I abandoned ship. Then she slipped up on the plane and called me sexy? So, I took a chance and held her hand on take-off because she was nervous. And she let me.’

‘Oh…’ Jake is suddenly at the back of the truck, interested in my every word. ‘Gossip Iwantto hear. Was your penis working at that moment?’

I lower my chin. ‘We were on a plane.’

‘So? You never heard of the mile-high club?’

‘No. Not with Hollyn. She deserves better than that.’

A smirk grows on Jake’s face. ‘You’re suddenly worried about what she deserves, not whatyoudeserve? Are your thoughts for Hollyn as unmagical as the ones for Sydney?’

Are they? Or am I just letting Hollyn creep into places I don’t usually open up for others? I can’t quit thinking about her. When she touches me, my insides light up like a lightning storm. My sex drive for anyone else seems to have left the building. I’m standing here telling my friend about her.

Fuck, dude, you’ve got it worse than you thought.

‘What I feel for Hollyn isn’t anything I’ve felt for anyone else. I can’t explain it.’

‘You got it bad,’ he says, walking back into the garage to grab another arrangement.

‘Let’s just stop talking about it,’ I suggest.

‘I’d agree to that, but’ – he turns the card on the arrangement he’s carrying out to me, raising both eyebrows – ‘this one has her name on it.’

Caught. I was hoping he wouldn’t notice that one.

‘I don’t know what I’m doing,’ I admit.

He sighs heavily, handing me the flowers. ‘OK,’ he says, his tone serious now. ‘You have no father, so let me give you some fatherly advice.’ He tilts his head back and forth as he decides on his words. ‘Many moons ago, you told me the key to escaping relationships and keeping things strictly physical was being able to separate feelings from sex.Be as hot as ya want, you said,but don’t bring in romance. Remember?’

I nod. I don’t completely remember, but it sounds like something I’d say.

‘Like the dork you are, you compared it to flowers. Casual relationships weren’t flower-worthy. That was your invisible line. Flowers lead to romance, romance leads to feelings, and feelings lead to more than sex. Once you crossed that flower line, you were on your way to a relationship. You didn’t want that. All your words.’

He wags his finger my way. ‘You’re bringing her flowers. More than once, I believe. Doesn’t that mean you’re feeling romantic about Hollyn and hoping it leads to you becoming a taken man?’

I stare at him blankly.

‘You got feelings for her, man!’ he half yells.

‘Big ones,’ I finally admit. ‘But she’s not ready. River’s forbidden it anyway.’

‘Pfft… River.’ He rolls his eyes. He and River get along; they do. They share a similar immaturity. But Riv sometimes annoys Jake who is the oldest of the three of us by five years. ‘You can get around that.’

‘Timing’s off.’

‘In life, timings are never on. You think I was ready to have a kid? Hell no. We planned it, sure, but I wasn’t ready. You’re never ready for the big things, even when you think you are. You’ll just make your move if she’s worth it and hope you got a shot. What’s hiding it from her all these years done for ya?’

He’s right. Hiding it has made me miserable.

‘Fellas.’ River suddenly appears at the back of my truck.

Jake’s eyes go wide as he returns to the garage for another arrangement.

‘I thought you were filming today?’ I ask, hoping he didn’t hear much.

‘Picking up the folks and all the crap they think they need, then heading to the Hawthorne to shoot a set for local fan club members.’

‘Sounds fun, but we gotta get,’ I say, stepping out of the truck. ‘Let me just run these to Mom.’ I grab the bundle of irises I saved for her and take them into the house.

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