Page 79 of He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

She stares at me as I search for the words. How do you tell someone you’ve spent your entire life in love with them and never told them because you were a complete coward?

‘You need to tell me what?’

‘I know Tristan was wrong because…’ I hesitate, staring into her eyes, suddenly more nervous than I’ve ever been. ‘Because he could have never loved you as much as I did.’

She wipes an escaped tear from her cheek, staring at me wordlessly for longer than feels comfortable.

‘I don’t understand.’

‘Youwere the crush, Hollyn. The one that ruled my world. You changed everything about me. All I ever wanted to do was be good enough for you to notice me, not just as River’s best friend.’

Her eyes grow wide.

‘I was about twelve when I realized it. What do you do with that kind of emotion when you’re twelve, and the girl you’ve fallen for is olderandyour best friend’s sister?’ I laugh under my breath.

‘Nothing. So, I worked hard to be your friend and admired you from afar. I’d fall a little harder when you’d allow me in a little. I would have done anything for you. Then one day, you were just gone.’

‘That’s why it hurt when I left,’ she says to herself. ‘You’ve been trying to tell me this all week, haven’t you?’

I laugh. ‘I’ve been trying to tell you this for fifteen years.’

She’s got the look of someone who’s not quite understanding what I’m saying. I can see her processing it.

‘I was going to tell you that night by the pool. At that point, you were pretty much all I thought about. I could never fall asleep at your place because River knew, and I was afraid he’d do something while I slept to embarrass me in front of you. Turns out I was pretty good at doing that part on my own.’ I laugh, but she just stares at me, wide-eyed, mesmerized by my words.

‘We were lying in the grass near the pool later that night, looking for shooting stars. I was pointing out constellations like the nerd I was, er –am– and we saw one. You’d never seen one before and—’

‘And you made me close my eyes and make a wish.’ She finishes my sentence with half a crooked grin.

I nod, hesitantly touching her hand. ‘I planned to kiss you once you closed your eyes, but I panicked you wouldn’t return it. So, instead—’

She drops the Snuggy to the ground, laces her fingers through mine, and squeezes my hand tight.

‘Instead,’ she says, ‘you cannonballed into the pool. I squealed when you splashed me, and that’s when my dad caught us.’

‘Yep,’ I say nervously, stroking her hand with my thumb.

I’ve never seen the look on her face before, and I’ve no idea if what I’ve just admitted has made things better or much worse.

‘Dax,’ she says, stepping closer, her voice hardly more than a whisper as she closes her eyes. ‘Do it now. Kiss me now.’

And like a total fool in love, I do. Sliding my hand to the side of her neck, I press my lips to hers. A tidal wave of butterflies settles over me. It’s better than I’d ever imagined. She kisses me back and it’s slow and sweet, and she tastes like the green appletini she was drinking earlier.

Her hand slides up my chest, her fingers brushing my neck, and as her tongue meets mine it practically knocks the wind out of me. If this never ends, I swear I’ll never sleep with another woman as long I live.

It’s the key in the front door that stops me. River.

Since I’m utterly wordless at this moment and not exactly in the condition to answer the door, I glance around the room. How can I save this before River walks in on us?

‘What’s wro—’

‘River,’ I say as the front door opens.

I shove her onto the bed, probably scaring the hell out of her. ‘I’m sorry, Hols.’ I grab the remote from the dresser, flip on SportsCenter, and drop onto River’s bed next to her, the stupid Snuggy draped over my midsection.

‘Act normal. I’ll talk to him later.’

She nods, touching her lips, looking at me with those big blue eyes. Good god, woman. I don’t know if I’m thankful for River or not right this second. Had he not just walked in, things may have moved too quickly.

---