Page 83 of He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

‘But…’ I drag out the word, trying to save face, ‘last night triggered something in me that I didn’t even know existed, and I don’t know if I can turn it off.’

He smiles as though he’s relieved. ‘That makes two of us. But, considering where we are right now, maybe we should take this slower than we have. I haven’t been in an actual relationship in’ – he thinks about it – ‘in averylong time. I haven’t talked to your brother yet, we’ve got the show, and you’ve got Professor Douchecanoe troubles. Maybe—’

Is it wrong that I like the fact that he hates Tristan? ‘Maybe we could keep getting to know one another and make out in secret?’ I suggest. Not my worst idea ever.

‘I dunno, Hols. Maybe?’

I grin, a massive grin that won’t disappear and probably makes me look certifiable, so I bite my lip to rein it in.

‘I’m also going to need you to stop doing that.’

‘What?’

‘Biting your lip. It makes me want to buy a deadbolt for my bedroom door and do dirty things to you. Things I know neither of us is ready for. Maybe dial back the sex appeal, could ya?’ His eyes move down me, his smile growing.

I laugh like a schoolgirl with a crush. ‘I can try to stop with the raw sex appeal I clearly ooze, but I hardly even know I’m doing it.’

He laughs. ‘Well, I notice from across the room. So, unless you want things to getreallycomplicatedreallyfast…’

I kind of do. But I can tell by his seriousness that he needs things to move slower. ‘Less sex appeal. Got it.’

‘Hols,’ he says, reaching across the island and shyly touching my hand. ‘I like you a lot. I don’t doubt I’ll say some stupid shit and try to flirt with you. I can’t possibly pretend this isn’t happening. I just need to move slower. OK?’

Again, words evade me. I nod.

‘Never in a million years did I picture finally telling you how I felt, kissing you, and then asking you to slow things down.’ He laughs to himself, shaking his head. ‘This isn’t me turning you down. I want this. Just know that, alright?’

‘I like you too. And I think I want to know what this is,’ I say truthfully, but nervously.

‘So do I.’

‘But I can wait till the show is over. It’s not like you’re saying we can’t hang out anymore.’

‘Exactly. We’relivingtogether, Hols.’

My god, we are. My mind wanders back to kissing him again.

‘We should, uh, get ready for our gig today.’ He stands, pulling his hand from mine.

‘Yeah,’ I say, handing him the half cup of coffee I flawlessly brewed.

He takes it with a laugh.

This is gonna be complicated.

* * *

Hours Later – At the Wedding…

So, we’ve acknowledged we like one another, but we can’t go there. That only means we’ll be pining away for something just out of reach while still spending every second of our days together. Seems a tad impossible. It also means we can now openly flirt and say things we’ve probably been holding back because we know the other wants the same thing. We’ve peeked behind the curtain and didn’t hate what we saw.

‘Hollyn,’ Ian says my name, camera pointed my way.

‘Yeah?’

‘That was the third time I’d said your name. Distracted today?’

Thirdtime? I guess I am. ‘A little.’

---