Page 93 of He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

‘Why do we all avoid love?’ he asks sincerely. ‘It’s the one emotion every person searches for, yet we pretend like it’s too much to handle. We’re scared of it.Why?’ Suddenly he laughs to himself. ‘You should tell Hols you’ve loved her since you got hair on your balls.’

‘You’re a little loud; you know that, right?’

I can’t talk to him tonight. He’s clearly in no shape. It might go over better, but I can’t do that to him.

‘Show her your wang, man.’

A few guests glance over now, looking River up and down judgmentally. Jesus. I grab his drink, setting it back on the bar. ‘You’re done,’ I say, pushing him towards the side of the house. ‘I’m bringing you home.’

‘She called me a child. Said she felt smothered,’ he says as he follows me to my car. ‘I put my sister ahead of my girlfriend and moved too fast. I’m an idiot! You think I’m an idiot?’

‘You’re not an idiot,’ I say, pulling open my passenger door and practically shoving him into it.

‘It hurts so bad.’ He grabs his chest, leaning forward and allowing his forehead to smack my dashboard. Now he’s crying. Great.

I get him strapped in as he wavers between broken-hearted and giggly drunk. Looks like I’ll have to watch these results from home tonight while ‘babysitting’.

24

HOLLYN

Moments Later – Inside her Parents’ House…

My phone beeps with an incoming text. I glance down at the notification. Dax.

Have Mercy drive you home? Riv is drunk. Taking him home.

He’sdrunk? God. I hope Dax didn’t talk to him, and he took itthatbadly.

I notice Mercy’s eyes meandering to my phone screen as she stands in front of me.

‘Did you want to read this one too?’ I snap with a glare, flashing my phone in front of her.

She just announced that she’s snooped through my phone and has questions. How did I think keeping things from her wouldn’t come back to me? I want to be mad, but truthfully, she brings up some valid points. I’ve been lying to her and she knows me well enough to know that and she’s not afraid to call me out on it.

‘I’m sorry, Hols. I wanted to help and you’re not talking so when your phone started beeping with incoming texts, I had a look to see if there was anything I could do. I’m absolutely certainVickiis the other girl. Look through your texts with her and you’ll see it.’

The day Vic and I tried on wedding dresses is now playing in my head. I didn’t see that one like Mercy did. Maybe I just didn’t want to, like she says. Mercy and River saw right through Tristan, and I didn’t believe them.Why?They’re the two people I trust the most. What in the hell was wrong with me to not trust my brother and best friend?

I drop onto the couch, laying my head against the back cushion, letting out a long, exhausted sigh. I’ve been telling Mercy I’ve been avoiding Tristan and Vicki. If she knew about the money he’s stolen, she’d see why I’m trying to stay in their good graces.

‘I know she is, Merc! I’ve picked up all the clues. It’s just… humiliating to admit.’

She walks over, sitting on the couch not far from me.

‘Things happened so gradually with Tristan that I didn’t see much of it. Next thing I knew, I’d lost myself and kept hoping the Tristan I knew would show up and save me from the one he’d become. He wasn’tallbad, ya know.’

She pinches her lips, obviously not believing that for a second. It’s my fault, really. Had I not disappeared and instead included her more in my life, maybe she’d have seen Tristan’s good side too.

‘You deserve a guy a million times better than Professor Assface, Hols. A Ryan Reynolds, Liam Hemsworth, Chris Evans…’ She mentions every unattainable man on the planet.

Dax Hartley? I sigh.

‘I feel like a loser. Living out of suitcases. No job. A pile of my ex’s shoes on my bedroom floor. Sleeping in my brother’s bed.’ I shiver. ‘How is everyone else so much better at life than me?’

‘Uh, not one of us has anything figured out besides how not to starve to death and basic self-care. I’m not thriving. I work gig after gig, most of them with my ex. I bartend in the evenings and trust me when I say bartending isnotmy calling. I’ve got exactly 312 dollars in my account that’s gotta stretch a week. Edie and Carlos are house hunting, and I haven’t even attempted to find my own place, even though Ed thinks I’m on my way to being approved for an apartment I may or may not have made up.’

‘You lied to Edie?’

---