Page 49 of Deliverance

“I have a little business to finish up in Spain, but Christopher called and insisted I be here.”

My father nods like that’s understandable.

I look up at the familiar man. Thomas Booth is one of my father’s oldest friends. They have been attached at the hip since birth. He’s practically my uncle. He certainly doesn’t look at me like I’m his niece, though.

“Bridgette, you need to be careful what you say in public. People will be concerned about your upbringing,” he says, his murky brown eyes practically boring into my soul as his more grey than black hair falls into his face. He lifts a hand up to grease it back where it belongs before leaning in closer; the smell of cinnamon so overwhelming I almost gag.

“I know what a good girl you are. Make sure others do too, okay, sweetie?” he whispers lowly.

Disgust rolls through me as I give him a shaky nod that hopefully pacifies him before he smiles and removes his hand from my shoulder. I turn to face my dad, holding a hand over my stomach.

“I’m not feeling well. I’m going home.”

He looks displeased by that, but when I fake a gag, he’s practically shooing me away. I take the opportunity, pulling out my phone to call a ride as fast as I can.

* * *

The car hardly stops before I’m throwing open the door and running for the front of my house. When I get to the door, I find it already unlocked. I barely shut it behind me before I’m racing up the stairs.

“Maggie?” I call out. “Maggie!”

When I get to the top of the stairs, I kick my heels off. Something I should have done before climbing the fucking staircase. My hand wraps around her door handle, coming up short when I find it locked.

“Maggie?” I call through the door as I knock. “Please! Let me in. I need to explain. You need to hear me out! You can’t just ignore me!” I scream.

Surprisingly, the door is ripped open, Maggie looking at me in what seems to be outrage through her red rimmed eyes.

“I need to hear you out? I can’t ignore you? My god, Bridgette. You really are a self-absorbed princess. Guess what? I can do whatever the fuck I want, just like you can, clearly,” she says before slamming the door in my face.

I reach for the handle, but she locks it in an instant and I smack the door as I shout.

“Goddamnit Maggie! Please! It wasn’t what you think. I didn’t want to be there with him. I just…I….”

I pause, not knowing how to explain what came over me. Partly because I’m not exactly sure what happened. It feels like a fever dream. One that sends an aching pain through my entire body just at the reminder of it.

“Maggie, please. I’m sorry. I…I’m so sorr-y,” I say, my throat tightening as my voice cracks at the end.

The door opens again, and somehow, she looks even angrier than before. The candle she made me is in her hand as she snarls at me.

“Go choke on a fucking dick. Your specialty.”

With that, she winds her arms back, throwing the candle against the wall behind me and shattering it to pieces. I feel my chest crack apart, mirroring the candle, before her door slams shut so hard the entire house shakes. I stand there numb and silent for longer than I should. She’s not wrong. There is nothing to say, nothing to excuse what happened. Just because we weren’t out in the open didn’t mean we weren’t emotionally invested in each other. As hard as it’s been for me to admit I…I have feelings for her. Big ones, even, and I just fucking ruined everything.

Slowly, I move to my room, shakily opening the door as I walk to my desk. I take a seat in the chair, numbly staring forward before I reach for a piece of paper. I stare at the blank white space for several seconds, feeling the need to release my emotions onto the page. Normally I’d write in my journal, but this…this is different.

My pen scrawls across the paper as I emotionally bleed out all over the page. I don’t realize I’m crying until my vision blurs and a few stray tears splatter onto the page, smearing my words. I continue anyway, sniffing deeply as I pour out everything that I have no idea how to verbally articulate. Then, I stop. My hands are shaking, my crying intensified as I stare at it. For a moment, I think about crumpling it up and tossing it. Instead, I open a drawer, grabbing out an envelope as I slip the letter inside and seal it.

Standing up, I hesitantly leave my room and head for the hallway. Each step, my stomach turns tighter and tighter. It’s coiled so tight I’m ready to vomit. I do my best to keep my head held high as I come to Maggie’s door once more.

A small part of me wants to knock one more time, to get on my hands and knees and beg for her forgiveness. I want to tell her that I don’t know how to move past what happened this summer. I don’t know what normal is anymore. She shifted my entire world; she severed my tie with gravity and flipped everything onto its lid and now…I’m lost and reflecting on the decisions I’ve made. I’m not sure I want to be found.

Instead of any of that, though, I lift the envelope to my lips, press a firm kiss to it, leaving behind a red print before I slip it under her door. Once it skates under the door frame, I let out a shaky breath and turn away, giving myself no other choice than leaving all of…this behind.

Chapter Sixteen

Bridgette

It’s been almost three weeks since that night at the Putnam Manor. I’ve tried countless times for Maggie to hear me out, but she has a way of completely evading me. When she can’t avoid me, she pretends like she can’t see or hear me. A little childish, but very effective because I’ve completely given up. I don’t know why I was fighting or what I was even fighting for. Maybe everything happened for a reason. Maybe it was a sign that whatever…phase I was going through is over and I need to refocus my goals.

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