Page 58 of Wicked Obsession

“I don’t need a thank you,” Ryder growled. There was no hiding his irritation.

Clearly that wasn’t why he’d remained. Another thought occurred to her—he might be lingering because he didn’t want to leave her alone. “Mom will return in a few minutes. You don’t have to stay.”

“Are you trying to get rid of me?”

Langley couldn’t quite read his tone, but it angered her anyway. “If that was my aim, I’d feign exhaustion,” she said with a touch of crispness in her voice that she’d been unable to squelch. “I’m merely assuring you that there’s no need to waste time here.”

“Being with you isn’t a waste of time.” That came out loudly and full of annoyance. Under his breath, he muttered, “For fuck’s sake.” Ryder closed his eyes briefly, as if gathering himself, and then looked her dead in the eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“That I got shot? That wasn’t your fault.”

He scowled at her. “No, I’m sorry I hurt you. Again.”

Langley turned her head forward, but shecould see Ryder in her peripheral vision. She couldn’t do this, not another time. “I forgive you,” she said, keeping her words calm with effort. “And I’m sorry my communication skills are lacking. That doesn’t mean we’re going to resume dating. Our relationship is finished.”

“That’s pretty much what I guessed you were going to say, but hear me out anyway, okay?”

It was tempting to say no, but what was she going to do if he insisted? Gather up her IV and outrun him? Langley steeled herself, determined that she wouldn’t react to whatever he said. She might be pathetically in love with him, but she wasn’t so eager that she’d embrace whatever scraps he tossed her way. Not a second time.

When she had herself locked down tight, she gestured for him to go ahead, but she kept her gaze fastened on the wall in front of the bed. From the corner of her eye, she saw him frown, but he didn’t insist she look at him.

“This isn’t how I expected things to go.”

“So sorry,” she apologized with utmost politeness and absolutely no sincerity.

“Okay, I’ll take what I can get. I know I deserve worse than this.” She caught his rueful grin. “I’m sort of lucky you’re not very mobile right now or I know I wouldn’t get this much of your attention.”

Instead of responding, Langley clamped down on her emotions harder.

“Yeah, so here goes. There’s nothing and no one in my life more important than you. I don’t want to lose you, Langley.”

She waited for him to continue, but he didn’t. If he hadn’t fooled her the other day, she might have gotten misty eyed and assumed this was an avowal of his love for her. But the last time she’d jumped to conclusions, she’d discovered that Ryder wanted the status quo and nothing more. She wasn’t making that mistake twice.

“Well?” he asked.

“Well, what?”

“Don’t you want to say something?”

After a couple of seconds of consideration, Langley said, “I can’t think of anything, no.”

“Yeah, okay.”

He went quiet. Langley wished she had turned the television on earlier when she’d thought of it. The only thing more awkward than this screaming silence was staring at a wall while it dragged on.

At last, Ryder said, “I grew up differently than you did.”

Langley bit her lip to stop herself from interrupting. Almost everyone had grown up differently than she had, but his voice was rough, as if he were forcing the words out, and if she spoke, he might not continue.

“Until I joined the Army, the only other country I’d ever visited was Canada, and I didn’t speak any language except English. You speak, what? Half a dozen languages and you’ve lived in more countries than I can keep track of.” Ryder’s sentences were choppy, almost serrated. “My dad is an auto mechanic, and no matter how hard he scrubs, there’s always at least a little grease under his fingernails. Your father gets manicures. Blue collar versus blue-blood. The soldier who dropped out of college and the heiress who graduatedmagna cum laude. We come from two different worlds, and I’m not sure they’re even in the same universe.”

Langley turned her gaze from the wall to Ryder and glared at him. “I’ve never judged anyone by how much money they have in the bank or who their family is, but it doesn’t appear as if you can say the same.”

“I wasn’t judging you, I was judging myself.” Ryder dropped his head, ran a hand over the back of his neck, then looked up again. “Here’s the thing. My dad harped on me and my brothers as far back as I can remember to go to college, that we’d never be anything without that piece of paper. I know I disappointed him when I joined the Army, but I didn’t realize how much I internalized what he said until after I met you and wished like hell I had some kind of degree.”

She attempted to see the totality of what he was trying to say, not only the small insights he’d actually shared, but she couldn’t manage it, not today. “If this was an issue for you, why did you ask me out?”

Ryder smiled, but Langley read chagrin in the expression. “Because I couldn’t stop thinking about you after we were back in Tampa. I figured we could have some good times and then we’d both move on.”

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